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fandomhigh2007-05-23 01:32 am
getupanddoit) wrote in fandomhigh2007-05-23 01:32 am
Entry tags:
Women and Gender Studies, 5/23/07
Once Madeline had finished her nose-twitching head count, she nodded to Sylvia and they got started.
"Today," Sylvia declared. "Today, we're going to talk about human sexuality."
"Human sexuality," agreed Madeline. "Choices, choices, choices . . . it's a whole new world with the choices, nowadays."
"Choices."
"What with your a . . . you know, with your . . . your bi-sexist and your lesbanese."
"Don't forget the celebastics who have no sex whatsoever."
"Who cares, everybody marches to their own individual drum cycle."
"I'm okay, and you're delightful."
"Do you know what I always say? I say 'please, do not walk in front of me or at the side of me, walk behind me as my equal. That's all she said."
"And if perchance we should meet," They both finished, "It's beautiful."
Madeline adjusted her glasses. "Of course, my nephew Michael tells me, he says 'Auntie Maddie, you know you've got it all wrong. They aren't choices, they're just how you're born. And you know? He might be right."
"He might be."
"Who am I to know?" She shook her head. "But that's not what we're here to talk about, today. We're here to talk about your preferences. I know it can be very hard, these days, to stay true to yourself in this arena. What with all the pressures and the hate crimes and the diseases and the trends and things. It's up to you to figure out what you want in this life and get it to keep yourself happy. I'm going to tell you all a story."
"Oh, here we go."
"Oh, hush, Syvvie. This is a story of my nephew Michael and his roommate, Phillip. I was over at Michael's for dinner, and he and Phillip who was a gourmet exotic cook, he made some curried dish. Cooked everything in the wok, you know, that oriental electric frying pan?"
"Get on with it, Mad."
"I said hush! Anyway, where was I. Right. Anyway, Phillip goes in to clean up after dinner, so I sit Michael down, this is my chance for a heart to heart, and I say, how are you doing, your friends, work, and of course, who are you seeing romantically? And he says, no one, right now. And I say no one? Darling, time is marching on, rocketing. When are you gonna just think about settling down and getting married? And he says, never. And I say, oh, come on, Michael, chin up, you never know when you're gonna meet that special someone. Honey, you got to keep an open mind. There are so many fish to fry. Where did I meet my third husband who was adorable? That's right, the municipal pool. True story, I dove in, nearly drowned the poor man and we were married a week and a half later. It's a fairy tale of sorts. I said one of these days you'll go around a corner and boom, you'll meet someone and fall in love. And he says to me, I have. Well, I jump up and nearly sprain my knee cap. And I said, you have? Well, Mr. Secretive! Fess up, give over, who is it? Who do you love? And he says to me, I love Phillip. And I say, who doesn't love Phillip, the whole family loves Phillip, he's a wonderful cook and very polite. I love Phillip, too. And he stops me and says, no, Auntie Maddi, you don't understand what I am telling you. I am in love with Phillip. And I say OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH. Does Phillip know? And he says yes, he does, and he loves me back. And I say OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Okay. So what you are telling me then, Michael, is that you are a homosexual. And he says to me, yes I am. Phillip and I have been lovers--lovers, is the term, class--for over 4 years. And I say OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Does your mother know? And he says to me, no I couldn't tell her. I was too afraid. I thought I could tell you, you are my favorite aunt. Please, Auntie Maddie, please don't hate me. And I said, hate you? I could never hate you, Michael, I love you. But you have to understand, I had my dreams for you. Meeting someone nice, settling down, having children. Oh, he is so good with children. Very patient. That's so important. I said to him, are you sure? And he says, yes. So I said, it's gonna take me a little while to get used to the whole idea, but hell, I got used to the microwave oven, I can get used to the idea of you being a gay person. So I said to him, are you happy, Michael? Are you careful? Okay, then. All right, honey. Then this is my new dream for you, that you met someone you love and you are happy. And then, of course, there was tears, the hugging, the crying, Peyton Place revisited, you know. And then Phillip poked his head in and said, desert, anyone? And I said, you get over here, mister. Apparently he knew what was going on the whole time. And he comes over and I say to him, Phillip, so what you'll never wear my wedding gown, who cares, I never liked it anyway. And he says to me, just like this, 'Oh Auntie Maddie . . . don't be so sure!'"
And at that, Madeline burst into giggles and laughed until she cried. And then she cried some more. Finally, Sylvia sat down next to her and handed her a handkerchief. There was nose blowing.
"Mad, I told you not to--"
"No, no, Syvvie, this is important." When she looked back up, Madeline's eyes were glistening, but she had a positive look on her face. "I'm afraid Phillip is no longer with us, class. That's why I'm all . . . leaky, like this. I'm sorry, I'll be fine. At least dear Michael had a very, very good life with him while he still could. But that . . . that is not my point, today. My point is this: it's important to know who you are and what you want. It's just as important to be brave and tell those who love you who you are and what you want. That's not easy to do, like I said before, even if what you want is your traditional love affair between a man and a woman, the pressures on you young folk can be so difficult."
"So what we want you to do, today," Sylvia cut in. "Is to practice . . . doing that thing . . . what's it called. . . ."
"Coming out of the cabinet."
"That's right. Pick a partner, pretend they are someone that you care very much about and are afraid of telling, and tell them. Be supportive of each other. Lie, if you have to. But let's see if we can't all see that it'll all be okay, in the end."
Madeline sniffled. "That was beautiful, Syvvie."
"Thank you, I try."
[ooc: OCD ison its way up. Opening dialogue and the monologue are taken almost word for word from the "Las Hermanas" sketch in Parallel Lives. Nothing at all explicit under the cut, so no worries about opening it at work. Have fun, people!]
"Today," Sylvia declared. "Today, we're going to talk about human sexuality."
"Human sexuality," agreed Madeline. "Choices, choices, choices . . . it's a whole new world with the choices, nowadays."
"Choices."
"What with your a . . . you know, with your . . . your bi-sexist and your lesbanese."
"Don't forget the celebastics who have no sex whatsoever."
"Who cares, everybody marches to their own individual drum cycle."
"I'm okay, and you're delightful."
"Do you know what I always say? I say 'please, do not walk in front of me or at the side of me, walk behind me as my equal. That's all she said."
"And if perchance we should meet," They both finished, "It's beautiful."
Madeline adjusted her glasses. "Of course, my nephew Michael tells me, he says 'Auntie Maddie, you know you've got it all wrong. They aren't choices, they're just how you're born. And you know? He might be right."
"He might be."
"Who am I to know?" She shook her head. "But that's not what we're here to talk about, today. We're here to talk about your preferences. I know it can be very hard, these days, to stay true to yourself in this arena. What with all the pressures and the hate crimes and the diseases and the trends and things. It's up to you to figure out what you want in this life and get it to keep yourself happy. I'm going to tell you all a story."
"Oh, here we go."
"Oh, hush, Syvvie. This is a story of my nephew Michael and his roommate, Phillip. I was over at Michael's for dinner, and he and Phillip who was a gourmet exotic cook, he made some curried dish. Cooked everything in the wok, you know, that oriental electric frying pan?"
"Get on with it, Mad."
"I said hush! Anyway, where was I. Right. Anyway, Phillip goes in to clean up after dinner, so I sit Michael down, this is my chance for a heart to heart, and I say, how are you doing, your friends, work, and of course, who are you seeing romantically? And he says, no one, right now. And I say no one? Darling, time is marching on, rocketing. When are you gonna just think about settling down and getting married? And he says, never. And I say, oh, come on, Michael, chin up, you never know when you're gonna meet that special someone. Honey, you got to keep an open mind. There are so many fish to fry. Where did I meet my third husband who was adorable? That's right, the municipal pool. True story, I dove in, nearly drowned the poor man and we were married a week and a half later. It's a fairy tale of sorts. I said one of these days you'll go around a corner and boom, you'll meet someone and fall in love. And he says to me, I have. Well, I jump up and nearly sprain my knee cap. And I said, you have? Well, Mr. Secretive! Fess up, give over, who is it? Who do you love? And he says to me, I love Phillip. And I say, who doesn't love Phillip, the whole family loves Phillip, he's a wonderful cook and very polite. I love Phillip, too. And he stops me and says, no, Auntie Maddi, you don't understand what I am telling you. I am in love with Phillip. And I say OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH. Does Phillip know? And he says yes, he does, and he loves me back. And I say OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Okay. So what you are telling me then, Michael, is that you are a homosexual. And he says to me, yes I am. Phillip and I have been lovers--lovers, is the term, class--for over 4 years. And I say OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Does your mother know? And he says to me, no I couldn't tell her. I was too afraid. I thought I could tell you, you are my favorite aunt. Please, Auntie Maddie, please don't hate me. And I said, hate you? I could never hate you, Michael, I love you. But you have to understand, I had my dreams for you. Meeting someone nice, settling down, having children. Oh, he is so good with children. Very patient. That's so important. I said to him, are you sure? And he says, yes. So I said, it's gonna take me a little while to get used to the whole idea, but hell, I got used to the microwave oven, I can get used to the idea of you being a gay person. So I said to him, are you happy, Michael? Are you careful? Okay, then. All right, honey. Then this is my new dream for you, that you met someone you love and you are happy. And then, of course, there was tears, the hugging, the crying, Peyton Place revisited, you know. And then Phillip poked his head in and said, desert, anyone? And I said, you get over here, mister. Apparently he knew what was going on the whole time. And he comes over and I say to him, Phillip, so what you'll never wear my wedding gown, who cares, I never liked it anyway. And he says to me, just like this, 'Oh Auntie Maddie . . . don't be so sure!'"
And at that, Madeline burst into giggles and laughed until she cried. And then she cried some more. Finally, Sylvia sat down next to her and handed her a handkerchief. There was nose blowing.
"Mad, I told you not to--"
"No, no, Syvvie, this is important." When she looked back up, Madeline's eyes were glistening, but she had a positive look on her face. "I'm afraid Phillip is no longer with us, class. That's why I'm all . . . leaky, like this. I'm sorry, I'll be fine. At least dear Michael had a very, very good life with him while he still could. But that . . . that is not my point, today. My point is this: it's important to know who you are and what you want. It's just as important to be brave and tell those who love you who you are and what you want. That's not easy to do, like I said before, even if what you want is your traditional love affair between a man and a woman, the pressures on you young folk can be so difficult."
"So what we want you to do, today," Sylvia cut in. "Is to practice . . . doing that thing . . . what's it called. . . ."
"Coming out of the cabinet."
"That's right. Pick a partner, pretend they are someone that you care very much about and are afraid of telling, and tell them. Be supportive of each other. Lie, if you have to. But let's see if we can't all see that it'll all be okay, in the end."
Madeline sniffled. "That was beautiful, Syvvie."
"Thank you, I try."
[ooc: OCD is
Come out of the cabinet!
Pick a partner and pretend to come out to them, be it as gay, straight, bi-sexist, lesbanese, or celebastic. . . .
Re: Come out of the cabinet!
Re: Come out of the cabinet!
Re: Come out of the cabinet!
Then suddenly a large cabinet hopped into the workshop area.
Re: Come out of the cabinet!
Re: Come out of the cabinet!
Re: Come out of the cabinet!
Self-torture was fun!
She took a seat near Sam. "Hi, are you working with anyone yet?"
Re: Come out of the cabinet!
Re: Come out of the cabinet!
Re: Come out of the cabinet!
Re: Come out of the cabinet!
Re: Come out of the cabinet!
It was possible that his view of gay men was a little skewed.
Re: Come out of the cabinet!
Georgia RuleVirginia Law' this weekend?"Re: Come out of the cabinet!
Re: Come out of the cabinet!
She lowered her eyes to her desk. "I guess I can accept this lifestyle choice." She didn't sound happy, though. "Does this mean I shouldn't set you up with my hairdresser?"