http://idontspeakfreak.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] idontspeakfreak.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] fandomhigh2007-03-07 01:49 pm
Entry tags:

Creative Writing, Period 6 3/7

“Good afternoon kids.” He stood, then held his head and thought better of it. He sat back down. Whew... The lights in here were so bright... And head rushes are no fun.

“I slept with the nun and Deadpool last night and I’m hung over. Had to get drunk enough to talk about you kids’ sexcapades on the radio. Sounds like you all had fun. Well I hope you all got your introductions done. Pair up, do some peer editing and then begin working on two or more pages to have done by next week.”

“I’m guessing at least one of you has writer’s block already. And many more of you will get it later. Here’s a handout with a few tips for overcoming it. If you’re stuck right NOW, I guess you can talk to me. But do it softly. I’m not in the mood for any shouting. And Wexler, if you throw a wad of paper at me I swear I’m going to make you wish you were never born.”

((ooc: Late because I spent my usual "class writing time" working on radio/late English essay... sorry all.))

Re: Partners/Chatter

[identity profile] ihatedenmark.livejournal.com 2007-03-08 12:48 am (UTC)(link)
Hamlet leaned over towards where Turtle was bouncing eagerly. "Would you like someone to go over your story?" he asked.

Re: Partners/Chatter

[identity profile] stocksgrrl.livejournal.com 2007-03-08 12:55 am (UTC)(link)
"Sure!" Turtle promptly presented him with hers, slightly dog-eared and littered with poorly done sketches. "You have one, too?"

Re: Partners/Chatter

[identity profile] ihatedenmark.livejournal.com 2007-03-08 01:11 am (UTC)(link)
"I do," said Hamlet, sliding over his own paper (http://ihatedenmark.livejournal.com/17156.html), which was neater and covered in messy writing.

He took Turtle's text, and started reading over it. The sketches might have been a little rough, but they were still rather amusing.

Re: Partners/Chatter

[identity profile] stocksgrrl.livejournal.com 2007-03-08 01:17 am (UTC)(link)
Clearing her throat and straightening as if to assume a more important disposition before engaging in Hamlet's story, Turtle began reading. There was a little bit of giggling, and grinning before she gave an oh-so-helpful assessment of, "I like it. Especially the detail on the chair."

Re: Partners/Chatter

[identity profile] ihatedenmark.livejournal.com 2007-03-08 01:31 am (UTC)(link)
"Thank you," he said, looking up from Turtle's story with a smile. "You can tell that it's a high quality starship because of the high quality chairs on it."

He put the sheet of paper with her story on it down on the desk. "Your story is very interesting, but there's a few things in here that could be improved on to make it better. In the second paragraph, you briefly switch perspectives from Alice to the cab driver. The story would be tighter if you stuck to Alice's perspective for the whole section, and implied what the cab driver was thinking through his body language. I also quite enjoyed the drawings."

Re: Partners/Chatter

[identity profile] stocksgrrl.livejournal.com 2007-03-08 01:37 am (UTC)(link)
Turtle's head titled, braid flopping down on her desk over Hamlet's story, as she looked at him and considered his criticism with a slight pout, and then the pout didn't know what to do with itself at the compliment to her sketches. "Well," she said slowly after a moment, "how could I really describe the cab driver's body language through Alice's perspective if she doesn't care about him, and therefor wouldn't be looking at him? Although I guess I could just cut that part out or something."

She paused, and tried to think of something to say about his story a little more, because she figured these sorts of things worked on an even exchange. "Is Dr. Minion really a minion, or is just a clever disguise?"

Re: Partners/Chatter

[identity profile] ihatedenmark.livejournal.com 2007-03-08 02:01 am (UTC)(link)
Hamlet stared into space somewhere near Turtles's braid as he thought that over. "You could have him say those comments aloud when he thinks that she isn't paying attention, or even move them up slightly in the story so that Alice would notice it. Would your story suffer if you did take them out?"

He leaned back in his chair. "Dr Minion used to be a minion, but he schemed and murdered his way up to being an evil overlord. He likes keeps his original name however because he had all his towels embroidered with it."

Re: Partners/Chatter

[identity profile] stocksgrrl.livejournal.com 2007-03-08 02:05 am (UTC)(link)
Turtle grinned and tried not to chuckle too much at his explaination; she really enjoyed it. "What does he have his PhD in?"

"And, yeah, I don't think the story would suffer much if I cut it," she said, imagining stabbing her document repeatedly with a knife to make it suffer, "but I do like the idea of him saying those things."

Re: Partners/Chatter

[identity profile] ihatedenmark.livejournal.com 2007-03-08 02:29 am (UTC)(link)
"A double PHD in Murderology and Murderonomy, although they're both mail-order degrees," he said with a mostly straight face. He may have had a little too much fun in creating his character back stories.

"And you can still keep it in as a muttering or some such sort of thing, in order to make it flow better. That way you can keep most of the idea in the story while streamlining the narration perspective."

Re: Partners/Chatter

[identity profile] stocksgrrl.livejournal.com 2007-03-08 02:32 am (UTC)(link)
The extra time spent in the character back stories was not going unappriciated. "That's awesome," Turtle said, grinning wildly, rather wishing her story had the room for a character with such cool degrees in them. Maybe the cab driver had one. There we go.