http://no-toast-thanks.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] no-toast-thanks.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] fandomhigh2007-02-02 11:16 pm
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Novice's Guide to Villains and Villainy - Week 4, Period 3 (Danger Shop)

When students walked into the Danger Shop today, they found themselves surrounded by a very cartoonish, Seussian landscape. Thursday was there, unchanged by the surroundings, waiting patiently for them all to gather.

"Good morning. Change of plan. I don't think we need to spend any more time on theory. You'll learn much more from testing different reactions up against opponents in a more practical setting. Villains are not always dangerous. Villains are not always out for world domination. There comes a time in the career of every hero, crime fighter, detective and normal person who gets caught up in trouble on a regular basis when they meet the Major Annoyance."

Right on cue, this little fellow rode in on his...creature.




"As anyone who was raised on Earth in the 20th century would know, this," Thursday announced, "Is Sam I Am. He will badger you. He will hinder your efforts to exist without going mad. Use whatever you have on you, work alone or in groups, and thwart him. Be warned, he's trickier than he looks." Thursday stepped aside and Sam I Am took over.

"I am Sam! Sam I Am! Would you like green eggs and ham?"


Class Roster | Syllabus
Your Detective Kit | Novice's Guide to Villains & Villainy Handbook
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Re: Defeat Sam I Am

[identity profile] no-toast-thanks.livejournal.com 2007-02-02 11:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Sam I Am nodded vigorously, despite not having any idea what she meant. He was a narrow-minded creature, which wasn't surprising considering he came from a book with only 50 distinct words. "Green eggs and ham are not vicious, in fact they're really quite nutritious! Would you eat them in a room? Would you eat them on a broom? Would you eat them in Alaska? Would you..." Sam I Am stalled. He couldn't think of anything that rhymed with Alaska. He started to panic.

Re: Defeat Sam I Am

[identity profile] sogothcally.livejournal.com 2007-02-02 11:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Cally giggled. "Sorry, can't help you there."

Re: Defeat Sam I Am

[identity profile] no-toast-thanks.livejournal.com 2007-02-02 11:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Sam I Am set the platter down and pulled The Complete Rhyming Dictionary by Dr Seuss out from behind his back. He flicked through. "Oh! Would you eat them in Nebraska?"

Re: Defeat Sam I Am

[identity profile] sogothcally.livejournal.com 2007-02-02 11:40 pm (UTC)(link)
"I would not eat them on a Viper, nor would I eat them cooked by Piper. I would not eat these eggs and ham, I really wouldn't eat them, Sam I Am."

...oh dear. She'd fallen into the rhyming.

Re: Defeat Sam I Am

[identity profile] no-toast-thanks.livejournal.com 2007-02-02 11:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Sam I Am looked delighted that she was rhyming with him. "Would you eat them if they were heaven? Would you eat them with Locker 327?"

Re: Defeat Sam I Am

[identity profile] sogothcally.livejournal.com 2007-02-02 11:49 pm (UTC)(link)
"I would not, could not eat them there, I would not eat them anywhere. Not with a cylon, not on a pylon, not in a jumpsuit made out of nylon!" Cally replied.

Re: Defeat Sam I Am

[identity profile] no-toast-thanks.livejournal.com 2007-02-03 01:16 am (UTC)(link)
"Would you eat them on a bench? Would you, could you with a wrench?"

Re: Defeat Sam I Am

[identity profile] sogothcally.livejournal.com 2007-02-03 01:20 am (UTC)(link)
"Not with a bench, a wrench, nor with a wench or a well groomed mensch! I do not want green eggs and ham, cause for my diet vegan I am!" Cally said.

Re: Defeat Sam I Am

[identity profile] no-toast-thanks.livejournal.com 2007-02-03 01:43 am (UTC)(link)
He put the platter down and pulled out two fish bowls. "One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish?"

Re: Defeat Sam I Am

[identity profile] sogothcally.livejournal.com 2007-02-03 02:05 am (UTC)(link)
Cally shook her head. "Please no, Gods no, Much no, thanks no."

Re: Defeat Sam I Am

[identity profile] no-toast-thanks.livejournal.com 2007-02-03 02:17 am (UTC)(link)
"Three fish, four fish, pink fish, more fish?"

Re: Defeat Sam I Am

[identity profile] sogothcally.livejournal.com 2007-02-03 02:19 am (UTC)(link)
Cally's Seussian groove came to a crashing halt.

"Nope, sorry. Not interested."

Re: Defeat Sam I Am

[identity profile] sogothcally.livejournal.com 2007-02-03 02:38 am (UTC)(link)
"Nope, not even a fox in socks would get me right now," she replied.

Re: Defeat Sam I Am

[identity profile] sogothcally.livejournal.com 2007-02-03 02:45 am (UTC)(link)
"MMmm, pie," Cally said. "Pie is good."

Re: Defeat Sam I Am

[identity profile] no-toast-thanks.livejournal.com 2007-02-03 03:09 am (UTC)(link)
"One pie, two pie, green pie, blue pie!"

Re: Defeat Sam I Am

[identity profile] sogothcally.livejournal.com 2007-02-03 03:14 am (UTC)(link)
"...okay, now you're just being silly," Cally said.

Re: Defeat Sam I Am

[identity profile] no-toast-thanks.livejournal.com 2007-02-03 03:23 am (UTC)(link)
"Pink pie, white pie, warm pie, meat pie?"

He really was being silly.

Re: Defeat Sam I Am

[identity profile] sogothcally.livejournal.com 2007-02-03 03:24 am (UTC)(link)
"What if I'd prefer an orange?" Cally asked.

Re: Defeat Sam I Am

[identity profile] no-toast-thanks.livejournal.com 2007-02-03 03:32 am (UTC)(link)
Sam I Am laughed. "Then I'm afraid to say, my friend, that our little talk has come to an end. Nothing rhymes with orange."

Re: Defeat Sam I Am

[identity profile] sogothcally.livejournal.com 2007-02-03 03:33 am (UTC)(link)
"I win?" Cally said, hopeful.

Re: Defeat Sam I Am

[identity profile] no-toast-thanks.livejournal.com 2007-02-03 03:38 am (UTC)(link)
Sam I Am bowed and disappeared, eggs, ham, platter, fish and emu along with him.
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