fandomhigh | Novice's Guide to Villains and Villainy

When students walked into the Danger Shop today, they found themselves surrounded by a very cartoonish, Seussian landscape. Thursday was there, unchanged by the surroundings, waiting patiently for them all to gather.

"Good morning. Change of plan. I don't think we need to spend any more time on theory. You'll learn much more from testing different reactions up against opponents in a more practical setting. Villains are not always dangerous. Villains are not always out for world domination. There comes a time in the career of every hero, crime fighter, detective and normal person who gets caught up in trouble on a regular basis when they meet the Major Annoyance."

Right on cue, this little fellow rode in on his...creature.

"As anyone who was raised on Earth in the 20th century would know, this," Thursday announced, "Is Sam I Am. He will badger you. He will hinder your efforts to exist without going mad. Use whatever you have on you, work alone or in groups, and thwart him. Be warned, he's trickier than he looks." Thursday stepped aside and Sam I Am took over.

"I am Sam! Sam I Am! Would you like green eggs and ham?"

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"I already told you I'd eat it," Mel said rolling her eyes. "I just want bacon on top of that.

Confused by the early acceptance, Sam pulled out a platter from behind his back and lifted the lid. It revealed, you guessed it, green eggs and ham. "There's no green bacon I'm afraid, I don't think there's been any made!"

Mel chowed down on the food and finished it in record time.

Then burped.

"Thanks. Awesome food. If there's ham? There's bacon. Comes from the same animal. Bring it to class next time."

Sam I Am stared at the empty platter. He let it fall to the ground with a clatter. Suddenly, he pulled a fish bowl out from behind his back. "Would you, could you take a fish?"

Seeing as though the area behind Sam's back was pretty much bottomless, so this could technically go on forever.

"No thanks. The ham and eggs were enough."

He pulled out another fish bowl. "One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish?"

"I just ate eggs and ham," Mel said sternly. "I'm full. Go bother someone else."

"Would you take them for a stroll? Would you take them to the north pole?"

"I'd take them for a swim. Fish don't walk," Mel replied. "Also the North pole is too cold. So no to that too."

"Would you take them in a car? Would you take them to a bar?"

Novice's Guide to Villains and Villainy - Week 4, Period 3 (Danger Shop)

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