U.S. History- Wednesday 1/17- Period Three

[certaintrouble.livejournal.com]

When the students arrived, Mr. Noblet was nowhere to be found. The bell rang, and there was still no teacher.

There was, however, the sound of footsteps. Someone sprinting. The sound grew louder, and Mr. Noblet, red-faced and panting from exhaustion, entered the room. He closed the door behind him and leaned back on it. He gave the class a dismissive wave, and managed to say, “Be right…with you…”

He took a minute for his heart rate to get out of the danger zone, then grabbed his clipboard out of his suitcase. “I believe you had some homework assigned on the syllabus. Pull it out; let’s have a look.”

As he took attendance, Mr. Noblet checked everyone’s homework. Afterwards, he put his clipboard down and moved to the chalkboard, where he wrote

Columbus

Chuck Noblet turned to the class. “I want you to forget all that junk people keep trying to feed you about Norsemen or that red Viking getting here first. Ignore them. Those people are communists.

Columbus sailed to America with his fleet of ships: the Nina, the Pinta, and the USS Titanic. One of these ships did not make it to America, as it crashed on an iceberg. I am referring, of course, to the Pinta.

It was Columbus’ dream to discover the new world, where he would be able to open an Italian restaurant, thus bringing civilization to foreign lands. Ironically, his success was a problem at the beginning. Upon Columbus’ landing, the Indians declared a national holiday, “Columbus Day”. Columbus was unable to reach a bank, and could thus not get the money to put down a deposit on the land he wanted. This, compounded with a series of other misfortunes, prevented Columbus from ever establishing his restaurant. The pain of a dream unfulfilled would haunt him ‘til his dying day.”

The next successful colony was established by the Pilgrims. To quote a foremost expert in American History: “Plymouth succeeded because its inhabitants did not come to the New World searching for glory, adventure, or hot man-on-Indian-action. Rather, the Pilgrims had come to escape religious persecution, to create a society where they could worship as they pleased and one day, God willing, do some persecuting of their own.”

Chuck looked at the class. “Any questions?”



[ooc: Half a moment, dear students, and the OCD shall be ready All right, we're ready to learn!]

Comments

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

"But at the time period you're talking about, the only people born in the United States were the Native Americans."

[certaintrouble.livejournal.com]

"But Colombus called them Indians, and that's been the word for centuries. Wouldn't it be confusing now to just start calling them by a different term?"

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

"Columbus was an genocidal invader who shouldn't be celebrated just because we've been doing it for so long." Blair shook his head. "I really don't think we should be following in his footsteps for what he called anybody."

[certaintrouble.livejournal.com]

"Looks like you're trying to view things from the losing perspective." Chuck replied. "Hate to break it to you, Blair, but when it comes to History, the loser's side of things is worthless. Gotta learn from the winners."

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

"The loser side is worthless?" Blair blinked in shock. "But half of history is the losers side!"

[certaintrouble.livejournal.com]

Chuck shook his head sadly. "Not all information is good information. You can't just go around accepting whatever anyone says. You have to have standards. And one important historical standard is to disregard whatever the losing side says."

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

"What did you win?" Blair asked a little grumpily. "Why should we accept your viewpoint?"

[certaintrouble.livejournal.com]

"I won the right to teach this class." Chuck stared down his student. "That's why you're getting the facts from me and not some lesser instructor."

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

"How much of a win was that?" Blair rolled his eyes. "Did you have to pass a test or was it just a 'you won because you answered the ad in the paper' type of deal?"

[certaintrouble.livejournal.com]

Chuck crossed his arms. "It takes years of training and study to become a teacher. And even then, you have to meet the state's rigorous standards. Not only that, I've beaten out a bunch of other applicants for this job."
Okay, maybe that last part was a lie. Were there any other applicants? Chuck didn't know, but it sounded good, so he said it anyway.

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

"Did any of those years of training and study involve a history course of some kind?" Blair asked. "Or do you get all your information from shady internet sites?"

[certaintrouble.livejournal.com]

Ha! The joke was on Blair. "I don't use The Internets," Chuck replied. "I don't have any interest in working within a series of tubes."

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

"Oh, man." Blair facepalmed. "No wonder your information is messed up."

[certaintrouble.livejournal.com]

Chuck glared at him. "Watch it, buddy. You're on thin ice."

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

"Speaking of ice? The Titanic? Seriously, that is so wrong." Blair rolled his eyes. "Wrong people group, wrong time period, wrong boat crashing on the iceberg. It wasn't even called the USS Titanic because it wasn't American, it was British!"

[certaintrouble.livejournal.com]

With amazing speed and agility, Chuck whipped the detention notepad out from his jacket pocket, filled out a sheet, ripped it off, and slammed it on Blair's desk.
"Detention, Mr. Sandburg!" He tucked the pad and pen back into his jacket. "Maybe it'll teach you to treat your elders with respect."

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

Blair looked down at the sheet and groaned. God, he hated The Man.