U.S. History- Wednesday 1/17- Period Three

[certaintrouble.livejournal.com]

When the students arrived, Mr. Noblet was nowhere to be found. The bell rang, and there was still no teacher.

There was, however, the sound of footsteps. Someone sprinting. The sound grew louder, and Mr. Noblet, red-faced and panting from exhaustion, entered the room. He closed the door behind him and leaned back on it. He gave the class a dismissive wave, and managed to say, “Be right…with you…”

He took a minute for his heart rate to get out of the danger zone, then grabbed his clipboard out of his suitcase. “I believe you had some homework assigned on the syllabus. Pull it out; let’s have a look.”

As he took attendance, Mr. Noblet checked everyone’s homework. Afterwards, he put his clipboard down and moved to the chalkboard, where he wrote

Columbus

Chuck Noblet turned to the class. “I want you to forget all that junk people keep trying to feed you about Norsemen or that red Viking getting here first. Ignore them. Those people are communists.

Columbus sailed to America with his fleet of ships: the Nina, the Pinta, and the USS Titanic. One of these ships did not make it to America, as it crashed on an iceberg. I am referring, of course, to the Pinta.

It was Columbus’ dream to discover the new world, where he would be able to open an Italian restaurant, thus bringing civilization to foreign lands. Ironically, his success was a problem at the beginning. Upon Columbus’ landing, the Indians declared a national holiday, “Columbus Day”. Columbus was unable to reach a bank, and could thus not get the money to put down a deposit on the land he wanted. This, compounded with a series of other misfortunes, prevented Columbus from ever establishing his restaurant. The pain of a dream unfulfilled would haunt him ‘til his dying day.”

The next successful colony was established by the Pilgrims. To quote a foremost expert in American History: “Plymouth succeeded because its inhabitants did not come to the New World searching for glory, adventure, or hot man-on-Indian-action. Rather, the Pilgrims had come to escape religious persecution, to create a society where they could worship as they pleased and one day, God willing, do some persecuting of their own.”

Chuck looked at the class. “Any questions?”



[ooc: Half a moment, dear students, and the OCD shall be ready All right, we're ready to learn!]

Comments

[certaintrouble.livejournal.com]

Sign in, and let Chuck know that you’ve done your homework.

[kawalsky.livejournal.com]

Charlie Kawalsky, complete with homework in hand.

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

Willow Rosenberg, with an inch-thick binder filled with homework. And charts.

[certaintrouble.livejournal.com]

Of course the lecture’s true! Go ahead and ask Chuck about the facts. I’m sure he’d be happy to clear up anything that sounds odd.

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

Blair blinked for a long time and finally raised his hand. "I really think you should call them Native Americans."

[certaintrouble.livejournal.com]

Chuck shook his head. "Too broad a term. It could mean anyone born in the US."

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

Willow raised her hand.

[certaintrouble.livejournal.com]

"Yes, Willow?"

[likethegun]

Sam raised his hand, despite his growing concern about doing so. "Um, sir? Are you sure that the Native Americans came up with Columbus Day? I thought that came from...well, later Americans."

[certaintrouble.livejournal.com]

"A common misconception." Chuck answered. "In reality, the holiday does date back to Columbus' first landing. The Indians actually began several holidays that we celebrate now, including Arbor Day and Kwanza."

[2-twin-devils-2.livejournal.com]

Both twins frowned and raised their hands, "Mr. Noblet, didn't the Titanic sink...way after Columbus discovered America?"

[certaintrouble.livejournal.com]

Chuck shook his head. "You're probably thinking of the movie version. They updated the time period to make it more hip."

[fat-halpert.livejournal.com]

Jim raised his hand. "Did Columbus land in Ohio, or did they name the city after him later on?"

[certaintrouble.livejournal.com]

"Half right. He established another colony there. This sadly, did not do very well, and all the inhabitants died in the cold of winter. However, there was a ghost town left to be settled in during westward expansion."

[bookwormwood.livejournal.com]

Matilda felt a few of her brain cells screaming out in pain. She raises her hand, "Did you ever attend a real school Mr. Noblet?"

[certaintrouble.livejournal.com]

"Yes," Chuck responded, "and at my proper age. I just didn't think it was right for a kindergartener to go around playing at high school."

[kawalsky.livejournal.com]

"So did Columbus know about the Heart of the Ocean necklace?"

[certaintrouble.livejournal.com]

"Nope. Columbus didn't get mixed up in the personal lives of his shipmates. A shame, really. Historians could really have used the records."

[certaintrouble.livejournal.com]

You can pass notes to each other, but do it creatively! If it’s an obvious method, Chuck will bust you. And he’s got that annoying teacher habit of reading your notes aloud…

[kawalsky.livejournal.com]

Kawalsky was having a hard time staying awake after being out all last night. He just stayed quiet, eyes occasionally drooping.

[tyler-gone.livejournal.com]

Tyler watched Kawalsky try not to sleep, then scribbled a note on a piece of paper, dropped it on the floor, and kicked it Kawalsky-ward.

Rough night?, it read.

[certaintrouble.livejournal.com]

After class, Chuck is gearing up to go, but you can still catch him and talk.

[certaintrouble.livejournal.com]

OOC: Okay. OOC extra credit for anyone who caught from where I got some of the lecture. Here are the answers:
America: The Book by the The Daily Show writers (deep down in my mind, this is your textbook.)
Stan Freeberg’s United States of America
It’s the weirdest thing ever. Researching information to make sure I get History wrong. I love my life.

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

See now I'm tempted to look up those study questions, since I own ATB too.

[certaintrouble.livejournal.com]

Oh, sadly the questions don't actually correspond. America is technically a government textbook, so it doesn't have enough history to actually work. Otherwise that would be my curriculum, right there. Going chapter by chapter out of that book. :)
But still, claiming anything in there to be true would certainly get on Chuck's good side.