fandomhigh | Fandom High Holiday Pageant 2006, Friday afternoon, The Auditorium

Once everyone was seated, The Tick walked out onto the stage wearing a keen tux. He was ready to celebrate the holidays in style.

"Welcome, chums, to the 2006 Fandom High Holiday Pageant! This year, we're looking to make the pageant as broad as possible, covering several different holidays with several different methods of educating us all with fun! It's Funducation, not to be confused with Funded Education!"

"On the Holiday Tree of Funducation, information is the presents, and you are the children gathered around, hoping for the Hanukkah Wii of Information, or the X-Mas-Box of Knowledge! Our volunteers are the ornaments, making sure the Tree is shiny and festive! The participating classes are the lights that illuminate with organization and color! And I," Tick said, grinning broadly, "am a jolly man in a blue suit! I am not just your Master of Ceremonies tonight, I am also your Santa of Ceremonies! So please allow me to welcome you to this year's Tree of Funducation, the Holiday Pageant!"

[OOC: Please ~~wait for and then~~ follow the OCD. There is a thread for each performance, and then a Performance and Audience sub-thread for each. Please use the subthreads. Pretty self explanatory. Everyone should know what they're doing and which thread they're doing it in, hopefully. If, for some reason, we have threads that are not pinged into as of really late Friday night, I may get creative and randomly recruit people at the last minute if it doesn't Joss them just to make sure the pageant stands as being complete.

I'd like to say thank you in advance to all of my volunteers and I can't wait to see what you put together!]

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"Nay, not an encyclopdia salesman, chum!" Tick called out, wondering why Hawkeye was improvising. It didn't matter. All the world's a stage, so he had practice keep on track during a performance!

"With a blue-clad driver, so large but still quick,
It was clear that the guy in the sleigh was our Dean, The Tick.
The sleigh was not his, he had no vehicle of such fame,
Running a nine reindeer-powered engine, he called them by name!"

"'Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Dixon!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! on, on Donder and Blitzen!
We need to deliver Fandom's presents from this sleigh with no wing!
I just wish Santa had shown me how to drive this thing!'"

Suddenly, one of the cables holding the sleigh broke.

Budget cuts.

Isabel was very proud that she did not scream. Instead she very quickly scrambled out of the sled and onto the roof. Her jaw ached from keeping that smile plastered on.

Tick jumped out of the sleigh, landed on the roof, smashed a few shingles while doing so, and watched as the sleigh crashed into the floor. "Good thing we have that new troll janitor. Ahem."

"Though the sleigh veered out of control, everything turned out well,
Though Hawkeye should ask for new landscaping and maybe some aspirin for Tick's elf helper, Isabel.
Now on the house-top, the roof supported the weight,
Of a large superhero, his elf helper, and a bunch of presents in a crate.
All of the sacks are still with Santa, you see, so we had to improvise."

Tick moved over to the chimney and jumped down it. He continued to narrate.

"And then, in a twinkling, Hawkeye heard up above
The stamping and stepping, of the Tick, trying too be quiet as a dove
As Hawkeye drew in his head, and was turning around,
From the chimney, Dean Tick called, "I'm stuck! Hold on a second! Be right out!'"

"Do I need to get a plunger?"

"No, no. I've got it!" Tick declared. Seconds later, the chimney broke apart and The Tick emerged from it. "Okay, Isabel, you can come down now!"

He meant through the chimney, completely forgetting that this was a set and there were stairs from the room at the back of the set.

Isabel debated following Tick down the chimney. Then sanity prevailed and she remembered that alien-fu didn't include flying. She walked down the stairs and into the room. The smile hadn't budged.

Hawkeye turned and gave Isabel a little wave. "He offered me extra credit too, then I remembered too late that I'm not a student."

"Where was I?" Tick asked. "Oh, right, right."

"He was dressed all in blue, from his head to his foot,
But it looked black in spots, tarnished with ashes and soot.
A crate full of liquor he had brought along with.
It seemed pretty clear that Santa passed along for what Hawkeye would wish."

Tick cringed at the last sentence. It was one of his weaker lines in this scene.

"I protest!" Hawkeye stamped his foot. "I distinctly remember asking for a Kitty Karry-All doll." He took a closer look, then grinned at Tick. "But this'll do."

Tick returned the grin. The season of sharing was keen!

"His eyes were blank white but gleeful! his antennae looked merry!
His jaw was like a moose, his nose like a blueberry!
His massive grin was as gleeful as a ship's bow,
And atop his head was a small pile of snow."

Tick pointed to his head. Yep. Snow.

"Down from the chim... stairs at the back of the set came an elf with some class,
To explain why she was here, she explained, 'Helping save Christmas in Fandom gets me extra credit in class!'
She shrugged her shoulders and handed Hawkeye a candy cane,
WIth this level of insanity, the joy of the night would not wane!"

Isabel did as Tick said and handed Hawkeye a candy cane, all the while wondering if skipping Christmas might not be such a bad idea after all.

Hawkeye looked at the cane, then raised his eyebrows at the audience. "Kids, remember: candy and nostrils are a bad combination."

"The Tick Tick handed over the booze and seemed so chipper for a Dean,
And Hawkeye laughed when he saw him, the sootiest, snowiest, happiest administrater Hawk had ever seen!
A twitch of Tick's antennae and a nod of his head,
Soon gave Hawkeye to know he had nothing to dread.
Except for maybe his insurance rates getting bumped up."

"Tick spoke not in dialogue, only this narrative,
As he sent Isabel towards to stockings to fill them and make them festive.
Tick then layed a finger upon his chin as if to ponder,
And suddenly questioned, 'Our sleigh crashed. How are we getting out of here? I wonder!'"

After filling the stockings, Isabel eyed the sleigh warily. There was no way she was getting back in that. Not unless some sort of Christmas miracle happened.

The Tick suddenly turned toward the fake roof.

"When suddenly from outside there was another clatter
And The Tick ran to the window to see someone who was fatter!
This hero recovered the crashed sleigh and zoomed to the roof
He was now going to help Tick and Isabel. It was the real Santa, this was proof!"

Jack Bristow, all decked out in Santa garb, stood next to the sleigh, which was suspended properly with some extra heavy-duty cables "borrowed" from the U.S. Navy. Don't ask how. It's best not to.

Bristow slung his sack behind him and generally looked like Kris Kringle on Botox. He continued the narration, although not nearly as merrily as The Tick.

"The real Santa was here, fixed sleigh and with a new sack
And said, 'Thank you, Tick, for having my back.
My secret mission's over. Hop in the sleigh. You served adequately, all right.'
Tick and Isabel hopped in the sleigh as Santa enunciated clearly, 'Happy Christmas to all, and to all--'"

"SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!"

Bristow's eyebrow raised .595 millimeters.

"If you insist, Dean Tick."

Fandom High Holiday Pageant 2006, Friday afternoon, The Auditorium

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