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fandomhigh2006-11-30 11:01 am
dr-jwilsonmd.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2006-11-30 11:01 am
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Philosophy of Values: Period 3 - Class # 12
Wilson was standing at the front of the class, next to a tray of pastries and baked goods. He was sipping on coffee and wearing a particularly evil little grin. Next to him, was a stack of blue books.
As soon as the students were seated, Wilson pushed away from the desk and picked up the stack of blue books.
“Good morning class. Well, for those of you who have been following the syllabus, this won’t come as a complete surprise that indeed, we have a ‘pop’ test.”
Cue groans and flailing.
“Well, what can I say…questions like the ones we’ve been discussing in class rarely give you a heads up before they descend upon you. Now, you’ll have the entire class period to take the test. I’ll be putting the questions up on the overhead shortly. There are 21 questions; I want you to answer ten, in your blue books, please.”
After he had all the books handed out, Wilson headed back down to the front of the classroom where he flicked on the overhead projector and put up a film with the following questions listed on it.
The Test:
Various important philosophical Questions
1. Why is it only drug dealers and software developers call their clients 'users'?
2. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
4. How is it possible to have a civil war?
5. If God dropped acid, would he see people?
6. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
7. If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
8. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
9. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
10. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
11. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
12. Where are we going? And what's with this handbasket?
13. If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the stuff?
14. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
15. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
16. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said, "If I tell you, it would defeat the purpose.
17. If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they still working?
18. Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
19. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
[ooc: OCDs areon the way up! Come take a test. :D]
As soon as the students were seated, Wilson pushed away from the desk and picked up the stack of blue books.
“Good morning class. Well, for those of you who have been following the syllabus, this won’t come as a complete surprise that indeed, we have a ‘pop’ test.”
Cue groans and flailing.
“Well, what can I say…questions like the ones we’ve been discussing in class rarely give you a heads up before they descend upon you. Now, you’ll have the entire class period to take the test. I’ll be putting the questions up on the overhead shortly. There are 21 questions; I want you to answer ten, in your blue books, please.”
After he had all the books handed out, Wilson headed back down to the front of the classroom where he flicked on the overhead projector and put up a film with the following questions listed on it.
The Test:
Various important philosophical Questions
1. Why is it only drug dealers and software developers call their clients 'users'?
2. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
4. How is it possible to have a civil war?
5. If God dropped acid, would he see people?
6. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
7. If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
8. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
9. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
10. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
11. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
12. Where are we going? And what's with this handbasket?
13. If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the stuff?
14. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
15. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
16. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said, "If I tell you, it would defeat the purpose.
17. If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they still working?
18. Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
19. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
[ooc: OCDs are
Sign In
Re: The Test!
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She considered naming the baked good, but decided Blueberry Astrid Magel Bullfin Muffin was too long a moniker to saddle such a temporal individual with and simply ate the muffin instead.
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Cause her mun sucksThe Test!
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handwavydry and almost distracted answers.Re: The Test!
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1. Both are jittery at the end.
2. Hopefully not.
3. Never asked.
4. By yelling at each other.
5. No, but people might see God.
6. Only if they're really dumb.
7. No
8. Failed.
9. Because medicine has to give everything complicated names.
10. Because we want to, but the government doesn't let us.
11. ... No idea.
12. Towards the future.
13. Because there would be a breathing problem.
14. It's sour, not ever lasting.
15. Not all monkeys and apes evolved.
16. ...?
17. Because it goes against their morale code.
18. No
19. No
20. Because being psychic does not mean other people's names are written on their foreheads.
21. The speed of light?
Re: The Test!
handwaveytestas her mun headdesked for forgetting about itTalk to Wilson
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