fandomhigh | Internet for Dummies, Wednesday 9/13, 3rd Period

The lab is set up with four computer stations in the middle of the room and desks in the back.

"Last week we talked about what the internet is, and this week we're going to learn how to get to the internet." Abby smiled and turned to a list on the white board behind her. "The main kind of connections we're going to study and try out today are dial-up, cable, DSL, and Wi-Fi."

After explaining each of those in more detail, Abby walked to the stations. "You're going to get a chance to try each of these to see the pros and cons. Each station has a different internet service providers or ISP. They offer varying levels of help, annoyance and in some cases, a lot of shiny CD's mailed to your house. Station one and four will be ones you will have to connect to, station two and three you'll already be connected to the internet. I'd like for you to work alone at the first station ~~for my own sanity~~ and with partners for the other three."

"Feel free to ask myself or Mac any questions." Abby walked back up to the front and pointed to a spot on her desk. "I'd like a written paragraph from you about what you liked and hated. Doesn't have to be long or spelled right, just have it on my desk by the end of class."

[~~Wait for OCD please.~~ OCD up! I'll be playing the part of AOL today, which is why you're working alone on that station. Ping into the thread and then I'll guide you through connecting. I should be on all day give or take time for eating and stuff.]

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"What? No! I wanted my name." He tried to go back, but it wouldn't let him. Or he was doing it wrong. "Access number?" He clicked something randomly.

The running man was running a lot slower now.

That access number is not available. Please choose another area to call from. Long distance charges might apply.

Access Numbers for (Fandom Island) Area Code:
604-555-7011(Vancouver, Canada)
313-555-1514(Detroit, Michigan)
+44 20 5555 5360(London, England)

He should have picked Detroit. He should have. But there was some inexplicable force drawing him towards the Vancouver number, even though he'd never been there before.

He clicked the Vancouver number.

The running man perked up and got halfway across the screen before stopping.

As a new customer you are getting 7,000 hours for free. Congratulations. Please enter your credit card and checking account information below.

Kawalsky frowned. If it was free, why did they need his credit card information? It wasn't like his old credit cards actually worked anymore.

He scrolled down to the form and typed 'No.'

The screen blinked for a long moment and an error message popped up.

Credit Card form incomplete. Please fill out number and expiration date for credit card user "No"

Charlie thought about this for a moment, then filled out General O'Neill's credit card details that he remembered from when young Jack was around and using it.

Credit card numbers are like crack for the running man and he fairly sprinted across the screen.

Thank you, xMajorK102938939832. You are now being signed onto aolKids. Enjoy our helpful features like blocking of all mature sites.

"Stupid thing." He typed in the address of a Half-Life forum he'd signed up for a few weeks ago.

A brightly colored window popped up.

This site has been blocked for potentially violent images and language. Would you like to be directed to My Little Ponies website?

"What the hell? No!" He clicked no.

A brightly colored website popped up with many sparkly pink lights.

You've been redirected to My Little Ponies. Your AOL membership qualifies you for a guest membership to this website. Your credit card has been charged. Please enter your Mylittleponies.com screen name.

"Oh, he's gonna kill me." Hey, not a new experience, but not something he wanted to repeat. He furiously typed in something, anything, to get away from the My Little Ponies screen. That 'something, anything' happened to be the Internet Movie Database.

A new window popped up instead of the imdb.com website.

You've entered a keyword that is not recognized by our system. Please choose what you were trying to type.

Imax theater
Immature jokes
I am a dork
Mylittleponies.com

Kawalsky was now scowling. He deleted everything in the address bar and typed "www.xanga.com" (not that he kept a blog or anything).

The blocking message came up again.

This site is being blocked for graphic use of emo, annoying layouts and photos of people taken by themselves. Please choose another site or wait to be redirected to My Little Ponies, an AOL affliate.

Kawalsky wasn't about to give up the fight yet. He stared at the screen for a few moments. AOL was a big, evil internet force. So what would happen if it was combined with one of its adversaries?

He typed in "www.yahoo.com"

There was a flash as the yahoo window tried to pop up but it was quickly closed and a different window popped up.

Welcome to AOLSearch. As an AOL customer you are eligible for our services. Your credit card has been charged. Please type your search parameters.

Note: AOLSearch does not search out of the AOL website family. It will not perform searches relating to choosing another ISP. It will not perform searches on how to stop recieving AOL discs. It will not perform searches on how to kill the running man. AOLSearch is here to help you search for appropriate AOL sites that AOL has created/maintained/purchased. Thank you for using AOLSearch.

Kawalsky stared, then sighed.

He knew when he was defeated.

He typed 'My Little Ponies'.

Abby came up just as the screen switched over the My Little Ponies website. "How'd you do?"

"AOL blows, it wouldn't let me see anything I wanted to see, it called me a dork and made me go to the My Little Ponies website. Oh, and I may get charged for credit card fraud." He grinned. "I love your class."

"Congratulations." Abby laughed. "You've learned the most important lesson of the day. AOL sucks and my class rocks."

"It's a lesson I'll treasure forever and always."

"Alright, finish up with the other stations and turn in your paragraph." Abby smiled. "Since you passed the AOL station without destroying a computer there's a Caf-Pow waiting for on the back table. Enjoy!"

Internet for Dummies, Wednesday 9/13, 3rd Period

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