fandomhigh | Science! (Thursday, Period 7)

The science classroom was arranged as most science classrooms were - lab benches that seated two, facing a larger one and a chalkboard at the front of the class. Shelves and cupboards were stocked with glassware and things floating in jars. There also appeared to be a pair of safety goggles with battery-operated wipers attached. A skeleton, jauntily arrayed in bowler cap and bowtie, hung from his stand in the front of the class.

Shortly after the bell, a short figure with frizzy red hair flounced into the room, giving the impression that she was on the verge of a pirouette. Her dress was covered in a print of various scientific paraphenalia - beakers, flasks, bunsen burners, elements, atoms, molecules, DNA, etc - and her shoes somehow managed to match. Miniature Erlenmeyer flasks dangled from her earlobes. There was a large iguana perched on her shoulder, although she didn't stay there long, scampering down the woman's arm onto the teacher's lab bench and then appeared to arrange a pile of papers.

"Good morning, class!" the woman trilled, clasping her hands together. "My name is Ms. Frizzle! Welcome to science! Oh, we are going to have such fun together, children! I will do my best to learn each and every one of your names and if - ah, thank you, Liz!" This was directed at the lizard, who had just handed her a class roster. Ms. Frizzle quickly read through the attendance, almost bouncing in place.

That finished, she turned her attention to whatever lesson she had in mind. Although 'mind' seemed to be a slightly loose term when applied to this woman. "Science!" she announced, unconsciously striking a pose. "It's all around us! You might not think about it, but it's there! From the chemistry involved in making your breakfast waffles to the physics in making the bus run, to the way the beam your flashlight works! It's all science and it's wonderful!" Another pose and almost-pirouette.

"This year we will be having a science fair! I want you all to find a partner and use this class to talk about your projects! You don't have to decide on a topic yet, but I want you all to get to know each other - if you don't already - and get to know me! And there's no better way to do that then to jump right in!"

You know all those exclamation points that the Power Rangers are alloted? Ms. Frizzle has been siphoning their supply.

[[*strokes everyone's childhoods* Please to be seeing this for my availability. OCD ~~a-comin'~~ here, yo.]]

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Edward eyed Blair. "Uhhhh. Explosions are easy. Octopi... are not. There could always be an exploding octopus."

He clearly hadn't had enough coffee this morning. Actually, last he checked Edward hadn't had any coffee this morning. He should rectify that. Maybe with a couple stiff shots of vodka, because he hadn't really just said exploding octopus, had he?

Wow this was going to be a ... interesting... semester.

"Exploding octopus?" The Friz descended, clapping her hands together, delighted. "Ooooh, that sounds like a wonderful idea! What were you thinking?" Her eyes with sparkling with enthusiasm.

Blair had absolutely no idea on how to make octopus explode or what the scientific merit of that would be, but the enthusiasm was contagious. "I have no clue what the next step is on our exploding octopi project! But doesn't it sound cool?"

Edward scratched the back of his head. "Well, aside from synthasizing an octopus hybrid ... we could put flash-bang rounds in tentatcles..." Edward thought on this for a moment. He could claim temporary insanity later, he was sure. "We could always put tentacles on a wheel and use it to whip flash-bang rounds off... but I have no idea what sort of practical application that would have..."

"You just have to think creatively!" Ms. Frizzle chirped before leaning in and swinging an arm, affecting a gruff voice. "As my Uncle Charlie always said, 'Practical jokes are half the fun!'" She bounced right back into her normal tones. "Any kind of exploration is fun! Practical application can come later! I'm sure you'll think of something!" With one more beam, she bounced off to accost someone else.

Edward just stared after her. He wasn't quite sure what had just happened.

At least this semester was going to be very, very interesting...

"So what do you think, man?" Blair grinned.

"I think we're going to be making an exploding octopus." Edward shook his head. "The question is, do you want to make a real exploding octopus, or a fake one?"

"What would be the point in making a fake one, man?" Blair asked. "That'd just be silly."

"Well, then. I'm all about making an exploding chimera. Do you know of any naturally exploding animals? I don't know if we can necessarily combine non-living elements with living ones, although I'm willing to give it a shot."

"Exploding animals?" Blair bounced idly while he thought. "I'm not sure if I know of any. Do monkeys explode? I could really get behind some exploding monkeys."

I'm reasonably sure that monkeys don't actually explode," Edward said. "Not unless you put something combustible inside of them."

"Okay. We get a monkey and fill it with combustibles. Then we let the octopus eat the monkey." Blair bounced. "Exploding octopus!"

Edward covered his face with both hands. "Octopi don't eat monkeys."

"What if we made it look really appetizing? Put some of those tiny little white drumsticks things on it like they put on turkeys?"

He shook his head. "That wouldn't help. Besides, I think we might get into trouble for feeding a monkey gunpowder then attempting to feed it to an octopus. Nevermind the fact that octopi don't eat monkeys."

Blair deflated a little and leaned back. "How do you propose getting explosives into the octopus?"

Edward shrugged. "I'm not too familiar with celapod's digestive systems, so I'm not entirely sure. If we can feed it copious amounts of gunpowder, though, and put it near an open flame I'm sure that the results would be interesting."

"We should make the gunpowder taste good." Blair added. "We wouldn't the octopus to have to eat something gross. That'd be mean."

Edward stared at her. He hadn't really been... "Uh, well. If you wanted to be literal we could stuff gunpoweder in an octopus. Or we could synthasize a chimera with octopi DNA and some form of exploding cells, although I can't think of an animal off-hand that explodes. Maybe expands, like a pufferfish..."

Okay, forget the coffee. He just needed the alcohol now.

Science! (Thursday, Period 7)

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