fandomhigh | World Religions, Wednesday, 2nd Period

Sitting behind the desk at the front of the room, cowboy boots propped on its surface, is a scruffy looking man with shaggy dark hair, a goodly five o’clock shadow, jeans, a black shirt with silver collar tabs, an eyepatch over his left eye, and most importantly, a minister’s collar. He laconically watches the students file in and sit down before dropping his feet off the desk and standing up with a clipboard in hand.

“Mornin’. I’m Jesse Custer. You can call me Jesse or Reverend or Reverend Custer, but I’ve been through too many ass whoopins and too much grief to be ‘Mister.’ Remember that and we’ll be right as rain.”

He gives the clipboard to the person sitting closest to him and walks slowly around the class, looking down at each student in turn, making eye contact, taking their measure, and continuing onward.

“Religion. It’s what raises us up, and it’s sure as shit what casts us down. We sing God’s praises. We dedicate our lives to our deity’s services. We kill, torture, and destroy in His name." He smiled and amended, "Or Her name, or their names.

“We’re here to learn about your religions, and also to learn about those you aren’t familiar with. Just ‘cause I’m wearing this collar, don’t expect I’m gonna try to get y’all to convert, because my God’s a bastard and you’re better off without him.

“Today I want two things from you. When you sign in, include your religion, if you have one. If you don’t, just write none. If you’re an atheist, that’s a form of faith in my book, include it.

“Second, I want you to create your own religion. Get together with a friend or two and share your created religion. Try to convince your friend that your religion is the best way to do things. I’ll be watchin’ all of y’all, so you don’t need to worry about writing me reports for this one."

Syllabus

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Gwynn looked stumped.

"Dilute the message?"

"You know, if all those other people are interpreting the ideas of your religion. That could get messy."

They wouldn't dare contradict Tuck.

Gwynn cocked her head. "How would you do it?"

"Keep nice, simple, and unprovable. I'm the center of the universe. When I die, the universe goes with me. So give me lots of money to prolong my life, and thus, yours."

Gwynn gaped and then snickered. "That's how Nottingham tries to do things... and it always goes badly."

"Well, I'm smarter and nicer than him. Whoever he is."

"That goes without saying," Gwynn agreed. "Oh, he's the one always trying to kill me to get to my father so he can kill him... he's been like that since before I was born."

She smiled. "So, how do you convince people that you are the center of the universe?"

"How can they prove that I'm not?"

Gwynn thought about this. "Aren't gods nigh impossible to kill?"

"Never said I was a god. And if you kill me, then the world's going to end."

This was Gwynn and she'd probably follow Nadia, however...

"But how do you convince people to follow your religion?"

"I tell them what it is. Then ask them to prove its wrong."

Gwynn looked at her friend and then she giggled. "I'd have to follow you just to see how it all worked out."

Hell, religion had sent her father to war in a strange land most of her life, being an acolyte of Nadia wouldn't be half as bad.

Nadia, of course, didn't really expect her existentialist religion to work or catch on, but it was kind of fun to argue.

"So a rival from another religion starts telling your followers that you're a false god. What do you do?"

Yeah, she has thoughts on this.

"Nothing. I don't have to prove that I'm the center of the universe, and I never claim to be a god. But wouldn't it be terrible if I starved to death and they're wrong, and I am the center of the universe?"

"But you'd be dead, so how would you know?"

"And why would I care? Because I care about all the little people who would suffer along with me, as the universe ended."

"That's... depressing."

This wasn't really helping her opinions of religion.

Nadia shrugged. "What do I care? The world ends when I die."

[ooc: and yes, I had to throw in the line from Lion in Winter]

Gwynn was starting to look gloomy.

"Aren't we supposed to be trying to win each other over to our religion?" she asked in confusion.

[[OOC: And I love you for it.]]

"Do you think this class is going to mean anything after the world ends?" Nadia was starting to smile slightly, having spotted Gwynn's gloomy mood. "And hey, it's possible that I'll actually just live forever. And that I always have, so long as people provided me with money and food and stuff."

World Religions, Wednesday, 2nd Period

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