fandomhigh | The Kludge's Guide to the Universe | Dangershop, Wednesday Afternoon (Week 3)

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The Kludge's Guide to the Universe | Dangershop, Wednesday Afternoon (Week 3)

Harper was once again sitting with his feet up. He pointed to a list on the wall. "Spilt up into your assigned pairings."

Once everyone had divided up, Harper tapped his controller and cell walls shimmered into being around the different pairings.

"Inevitably, you are going to really annoy someone to the point that they'll lock you up and throw away the key. Unless you happen to have a very good lawyer, or friends with high powered weaponry, you are going to have to rely on your wits to get you out of there."

"Have fun."

[Cells are fairly basic closed boxes, with electronically operated doors. They have two bolted to the wall bunks with basic bedding, a toilet, and a sink.]

Group One
Xander Bly
Molly Hayes

Group Two
Cameron Mitchell
John Crichton

Group Three
Elizabeth Weir
Peter Griffin

Group Four
John Connor
Philip J. Fry

Group Five
Samantha Carter
Janet Fraiser

Group Six
Jamie Madrox
Aeryn Sun

[ooc: OCD threads ~~coming~~ are up. Post away!]
[Workshop Information]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Samantha Carter and Janet Fraiser

Janet sat down on the bed and looked around. "I'm clueless," she said. "But we do have friends with high-powered weaponry."

OOC: As a note, anything from [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com]'s POV is done by her over e-mail with me, and I'm doing a c&p over here every once in a while.

Sam chuckled as she went over to investigate the door mechanism. "Janet, we are the friends with high-powered weaponry. And we're on the wrong side of the damn door." She took a minute to look around the cell. "Seen worse, though. At least this has a toilet."

The lack of torture was also a pleasant change.

~~

"Damn, you're right. We could fake a medical crisis. Does that ever work?" Janet pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and checked the time. "Do we get extra credit if we break out sooner, rather than later?"

~~

"Um, depends on who's doing the faking," Sam replied, already distracted as she pulled her Leatherman out of her pocket and began prying off the face plate to the door lock. "Certain archeologists of our mutual acquaintance are really unconvincing."

Sam grinned back at Janet over her shoulder. "There's always the seduce the guards approach. That's pretty entertaining, and definitely not Murray's favorite technique." It was on that assignment that SG-1 had learned that Jaffa could, in fact, pout.

~~

"I think I could manage to fake a better medical emergency than certain archaeologists of our acquaintance," said Janet dryly. She was mentally going over symptoms. "Would you like a mysterious seizure, a heart attack, or some other loud and distracting occurrence? Though seducing the guards is a tried and true option. It's not as if we haven't done it before, after all." Janet snickered when Sam's words sank in. "This was the one where Murray was the only one who was the guard's type, wasn't it?

~~

Aaaand, the face plate was off. Cool. Now there were wires to deal with. Sam bit her lip as she tried to figure out what went where. "Something loud would be good, once we're ready to get a guard over here so we can get a weapon."

"Yes, that would be the one," Sam laughed as she remembered, sitting back on her heels for a minute. "And wow, were certain other people I happened to be with sulky for days over that one." By that point, they'd already known Jack knew how to be sulky.

"Loud? I can do loud." Just for good measure, Janet tugged the neckline of her shirt down lower and tied the waist in a knot above her midriff. "This had better not ruin my shirt."

"Certain other people need to learn to deal with disappointment better," said Janet, rolling her eyes at Daniel. "What, did he want to be the guard's type? Or was he just more disappointed that that he had one less conquest."

~~
Sam snickered. "Yes, certain people do. And I don't think he wanted to be the guard's type so much as he didn't want anyone else to be it either. The rest of the trip was a lot of him trying to prove his virility in various stupid and muscle-straining ways. Usually followed by 'See, Carter, I'm in my prime.'" She rolled her eyes and returned to the door lock.

Hmm. Okay, so if that wire was the ground, then one of those two yellow wires would be the wire for the release mechanism, and the other one would be to the alarm. Decisions, decisions. "Here goes nothing," she said under her breath as she clipped the wire on the left with her Leatherman.
~~

"I remember that one," said Janet. Okay, not Daniel. It was possible that she was a little irritated with him biased. "Dislocated shoulder, sprained knee, three sprained fingers, thankfully on the left hand, a pulled muscle or ten, and a concussion. So that would be why he tried to get away with not telling me about them." She snickered. "Testosterone-laden moron."

It was such a good thing that he was no longer a superior officer. Not that she wouldn't have insulted him before, she just wouldn't have done it in front of Sam. Janet got up and stood near the doorway as Sam braced herself to cut the wiring. "And I'm on?" she asked quietly.

~~
"Being carried probably didn't do much for his masculinity," Sam laughed so hard she almost cut both wires. "Whoops. Don't want to do that."

She cut the wire, then grinned as no alarm sounded. "Excellent. And yep, this is you. Don't hurt the guy too badly."
~~

"Oh, you're no fun," murmured Janet. Her eyes rolled up into the back of her skull and she dropped to the floor, a loud shriek echoing through the cell. Maybe being forced into Sunday choir in church with her mother had ended up having some practical merits after all.

Two large, burly, thick-browed guards burst into the room, where Janet was flailing bonelessly on the ground. Thank goodness she'd managed to avoid hitting her head in the fall, but she was going to have a hell of a bruise on her hip now. She shrieked again, her body spasming.

~~
Plastered against the wall and mostly out of view of the guards, Sam forgot what she was supposed to be doing for a split second in her concern that Janet actually wasn't faking the seizure, then took another half-second to admire her acting skills. As the guards knelt down to check on Janet, she crept up behind the slightly smaller of the two, landed a hard right jab to the guy's kidneys and then followed it up with an equally hard left to the other side. He bent over, groaning.

Sam grabbed the guy's sidearm from its holster, released the safety, and aimed it at the head of the second guard, who had stood up when his partner fell to the floor. "Back away from her. Now."
~~

"Damn, you're impressive," Janet told Sam, her seizure ending as abruptly as it began. She stood and began dusting herself off once the second guard had moved back. "You wanna give me that big ol' weapon you've got there?" she asked him. "Put it on the floor. Slowly. And then just shove it lightly over to me."

~~
Sam flashed a grin at Janet, then kept her weapon trained on the guard as he slid his weapon over to her. The second one seemed to be recovering and was watching them carefully for either she or Janet to drop their guard.

She waited for Janet to pick up the second weapon, slowly backing her way towards the open door. "Time to go, Sarah Bernhardt."

~~

Janet crouched down and picked up the gun, training it on the guards. "Why do I expect badly-dressed people with glowing eyes to show up any second?" she asked. She kept her eyes on them. "On the bed. Now."

"Previous experience?" Sam snickered as the guards scrambled onto the bed. "Luckily, we should get some kind of a warning--their armor is pretty noisy. God forbid they ever learn about the wonders of spandex and sneakers."

"Got something with which to tie them?" Sam asked Janet.

"My shoelaces," said Janet, looking down at the well-worn hiking boots she'd decided on today. "They're leather, at least." She studied Sam's outfit. "How about you. Anything?"

OOC: Availability will be very spotty 'til after the kidlet's bedtime.

"Yeah, take the laces," Sam said, sticking her left foot out so Janet could yank the laces out of her boots. "And as soon as they're tied, I think we're done."

Janet thumbed on the safety, stuck the gun in her pocket, and tugged on the laces of Sam's boots, then pulled them off her own. "And then we'll hopefully be able to get our boot laces back," said Janet.

She tied the guards quickly, yanking the laces maybe a bit tighter than was called for.

"Let's go," Sam said curtly, back in SG mode already. She looked left, then right, then pushed the door open and slid through.

Janet grinned, but didn't say anything as she followed Sam out the door.

The minute they were out, Sam relaxed and grinned at Janet. "Okay, so that was fun."

"It was, wasn't it?" asked Janet, grinning. "So did you want to ~~make fun of~~ watch everyone else now?"

"Naah, I'm not feeling very voyeuristic these days." She shook her head and went to go collect their bootlaces, which were now on the floor since the guards had disappeared. Sam handed the shorter ones to Janet. "May have something to do with making a huge honking fool of myself over the weekend."

"Yeah, I heard about that on the radio," said Janet, trying not to snicker, and generally succeeding. "Not to mention having the chance to observe some of the effects firsthand. I wouldn't worry about it. Humiliation seems to be a way of life in Fandom."

"I liked it better when it wasn't me being humiliated," she admitted.

"I'm sure someone else will have their turn next," said Janet, her voice comforting. "And then we can all mock them instead. But come on, I haven't even mocked you once. Not even behind your back!"

"So that's true friendship," Sam said dryly.

Janet stuck her tongue out at Sam. "You know, if it would help, I could make fun of you. If you wanted me to."

"No, that's okay." She leaned in to ask, "How's Liz? I haven't been able to get the nerve together to get over there."

"I got flowers and an apology," said Janet. She shrugged. "I'm used to people who go suddenly insane, but that was a little unusual."

Sam may have muttered something that sounded like "should have stopped with turkeys."

Janet smiled. "You know, we haven't had a random bout of insanity in a while anyway. I wouldn't worry about it."

"Oh sure," Sam scowled and folded her arms in front of her. "You're not the one who ticked off Anakin and Parker and Ivanova."

"Well, it's not like you meant to do it," said Janet, rolling her eyes. "These things happen."

The Kludge's Guide to the Universe | Dangershop, Wednesday Afternoon (Week 3)

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