fandomhigh | The Kludge's Guide to the Universe | Dangershop, Wednesday Afternoon (Week 2)

Wednesday afternoon once again found Harper in the dangershop, with his feet up and a can of Sparky.

After the class had signed in and found places to sit or lean, Harper stood up. "All right, last week we studied team-building. Today comes the important collaterally to team building, a little thing I like to call threat recognition."

"Now you don't want any team you might build to be made of people who'll throw you to the Magog the first chance they get. Unfortunately, in this big, bad, universe, people don't go around wearing signs proclaiming their back-stabbing abilities. In fact they'll go to great lengths to hide it until they can take advantage of you. For example the hot babe charmed by your wit might really be a phase-shifting, tesseracting, servant of evil, or your ship's avatar's slimy new robot boyfriend might really be a psychotic High Guard warship, intent on wiping out all spacefaring life from the universe." Harper did not sound the least bit bitter of those two examples. Really.

"Clearly, if you want to survive, and not end up dead or worse, you have to find a way to uncover the level of threat someone poses to you," Harper said. "Which brings me to the lesson."

Harper fiddled with his remote and three people appeared at the front of the room.

The first was a furry, batfaced creature, with nasty sharp pointy teeth and large claws, dressed in a robe.

The second was a tall, muscular man with a stern expression, laden with weapons. An astute observer would have notice three nasty looking bone spurs sticking out of each forearm.

The third was…purple. And bouncy. With a forked tail.

"These are Rev, Tyr, and Trace," Harper said, pointing at each in turn. "Your job today is to determine who exactly out of these three is the most dangerous, and why."

[ooc: OCD threads ~~coming~~ are up! Post away!]
[Workshop Information]
[~~HARPER HAS LEFT THE BUILDING! There will be tags when I'm conscious again~~ Back.]

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"That's what I thought," John says, trying to look like a professional sleuth. "I bet having muscles like that makes you really dangerous."

"Actually the fact I'm a trained killer makes me really dangerous," Tyr replied. "The more efficent muscle mass is merely a bonus."

"Yeah, that does make you sound more dangerous," John says, tapping his chin. "Tell me...do you like sweets?"

He had a point, really.

Tyr wondered if he could get around the safety protocols to kill Harper. "Yes."

"Cool, me too," John grins. "If I go grab a cupcake, would you want one?"

That noise was Tyr's holographic brain breaking. "Yes, I believe I would."

Hmmm...now, Tyr wanting a cupcake doesn't really mean he's a cupcake but it is a mark in his favor.

"If you ever come here for real, we'll have a cupcake date. Now...you said you were a trained killer. Have you ever been caught for one of your...killings?"

"Yes, we shall," Tyr replied, somewhat dazed. "Not yet."

"Yay cupcake date," John says cheerfully. "And, wow, that's a good record. What's your relationship like with Harper? Friends? Enemies? Civil allies? Bunk mates? Cooking partners? Boyfriends?"

Tyr's eyes bulged. "Me and Harper?" he squeaked.

"Sure," John says. "Opposites do attract, after all. I mean, all those muscles. I can see why he'd like you. It's a good look for you." He stops and steps back once, hologram or not. "You guys make a good couple."

It was a very disconcerting thing to watch a Neitzschean flail. "Harper and I are not...what gave you...you really think so?"

"Oh, definitely," John says, nodding and stepping back to his original position. "I'm sure you guys make a good team too. You've got the muscle and the guns and the mercenary smarts and he's got Kludge skills. It's only natural, if you're in close quarters, that you get close. And seriously, you guys look good together. I'm masculine enough to say that."

"Well, there was that one time...why am I telling you this?"

In the background, Harper was flailing at Tyr and John.

"Because we're gonna have a cupcake date," John prods. "Harper can come along, you know. C'mon, what do you feel for Harper?"

John really has no idea how this conversation got here but it is helping him decide who Harper thinks is dangerous.

"He could? Well-" Tyr's voice cut off mid sentence.

Harper laughed feebly and hid the remote behind his back. "Darn these equipment malfunctions."

"Awww," John says and waves at the place where Tyr had been standing. He turns towards Harper and says, "I like your boyfriend."

"Boyfriend? He's not my...uh, go talk to Trance." Harper babbled.

The Kludge's Guide to the Universe | Dangershop, Wednesday Afternoon (Week 2)

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