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fandomhigh2006-07-13 03:58 pm
suzotchka.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2006-07-13 03:58 pm
Entry tags:
Monologuing, Dialoguing, and Out-Quipping the Bad Guy, Workshop #1, Main Campfire (Thursday morning)
Ivanova was sitting very calmly on one of the picnic tables, her feet on the bench and her elbows on her knees. Serene, almost. She hadn't been nervously pacing her alcove last night, nope. Or checked and rechecked the rudimentary lesson plan she had written, rewritten, ripped up, and then taped back together. In fact, Ivanova looked completely in her element without a trace of nerves.
"So," she begins matter-of-factly when her "class" had assembled. "Welcome to Monolguing, Dialoguing, and Out-Quipping the Bad Guy. I'm currently welcoming any suggestions for titles that won'tup a NaNo wordcount take longer to say than to pour the cup of coffee I needed to get up this morning. I don't know why you're here. I barely know why I'm here. Hopefully to help you develop the one skill that doesn't get taught in basic training, but might help you survive in a tight spot better than knowing how to tie a tourniquet or use a garrotte." She smiled. "Yes, I speak of the ancient and venerable art of sarcasm. Sarcasm, snark, wit, gross insubordination, it goes by many names. Some people have a natural talent for it. It is completely lost on others. It can be used to beguile, confuse, convince, and insult."
Ivanova laughed, leaning back a bit. "It can also land you in front of a court martial board or similarly deep shit. I can't teach you snark, or how to control it. I can only encourage you to let out your inner riposte. We'll begin today, in a very obvious place. Dramatic entrances.
"Dramatic entrances," she repeated. "We all make them, with or without meaning to." Her mouth twisted in a wry smile. "I've always been rather fond of storming into a room in the middle of a sentence. Prefacing my comments with 'Those bastards! Those rat bastards!' usually works wonders.
"You want to be able to capture the attention of a room as soon as you enter it - without jumping up and down, waving your arms over you head. In some cases, you may want to be a diversion - attracting attention by pretending to be the main event, while the real main event is slipping around their flank. Or a good entrance can be a delaying tactic, a show of strength, or straight intimidation.
"Today, since it's the first day and I don't know you all yet, we're going to start with introductions. I want you to imagine yourself facing down an army," she gestured to one side, framing the invisible army with her hand, "and your finger is on the button that will make a good number of them go boom. Using nothing but words - no flashy theatrics - introduce yourself. Try to terrify your peers. You can lie and bluff all you want. I'm not going to check you on it, because that army sure as hell won't be able to." She pointed again to the invisible army. "I'll begin."
She drew herself up, suddenly looking older and, well, scary. "I am Susan Ivanova. Commander. Daughter of Andrei and Sofie Ivanov. I am the right hand of vengeance, and the boot that is going to kick your sorry ass all the way back to Earth, sweetheart. I am death incarnate, and the last living thing that you are ever going to see." She faltered, realising that was maybe just a little too much. She left off the last line, shook her head to clear it, and shrunk back to what she had been, smirking at them.
"Your turn."
Finally she stood, her back cracking a little as she straightened. "And that's all I have to say today. Your homework for this week - watch as I abuse my power - is to make at least one dramatic entrance. With or without flashy theatrics, your choice."
[[OCDcoming up. See here for availability and why it's late. Apologies!]]
"So," she begins matter-of-factly when her "class" had assembled. "Welcome to Monolguing, Dialoguing, and Out-Quipping the Bad Guy. I'm currently welcoming any suggestions for titles that won't
Ivanova laughed, leaning back a bit. "It can also land you in front of a court martial board or similarly deep shit. I can't teach you snark, or how to control it. I can only encourage you to let out your inner riposte. We'll begin today, in a very obvious place. Dramatic entrances.
"Dramatic entrances," she repeated. "We all make them, with or without meaning to." Her mouth twisted in a wry smile. "I've always been rather fond of storming into a room in the middle of a sentence. Prefacing my comments with 'Those bastards! Those rat bastards!' usually works wonders.
"You want to be able to capture the attention of a room as soon as you enter it - without jumping up and down, waving your arms over you head. In some cases, you may want to be a diversion - attracting attention by pretending to be the main event, while the real main event is slipping around their flank. Or a good entrance can be a delaying tactic, a show of strength, or straight intimidation.
"Today, since it's the first day and I don't know you all yet, we're going to start with introductions. I want you to imagine yourself facing down an army," she gestured to one side, framing the invisible army with her hand, "and your finger is on the button that will make a good number of them go boom. Using nothing but words - no flashy theatrics - introduce yourself. Try to terrify your peers. You can lie and bluff all you want. I'm not going to check you on it, because that army sure as hell won't be able to." She pointed again to the invisible army. "I'll begin."
She drew herself up, suddenly looking older and, well, scary. "I am Susan Ivanova. Commander. Daughter of Andrei and Sofie Ivanov. I am the right hand of vengeance, and the boot that is going to kick your sorry ass all the way back to Earth, sweetheart. I am death incarnate, and the last living thing that you are ever going to see." She faltered, realising that was maybe just a little too much. She left off the last line, shook her head to clear it, and shrunk back to what she had been, smirking at them.
"Your turn."
Finally she stood, her back cracking a little as she straightened. "And that's all I have to say today. Your homework for this week - watch as I abuse my power - is to make at least one dramatic entrance. With or without flashy theatrics, your choice."
[[OCD
Re: Talk to Ivanova
"I'm glad to be back, too."