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fandomhigh2006-07-12 11:16 am
badassbutler.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2006-07-12 11:16 am
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Cafe Fina, Monday Morning, Stealth and Deception Workshop #1
Alfred had sent out a handwaved e-mail that informed his students that their first class would be held in a private room at Cafe Fina.
When they arrived at the Cafe, they were led by Wadsworth to a back room where a long table with a delicious Cafe Fina breakfast spread lay. They were then informed that, due to unforeseen circumstances, Alfred would be a bit late this class.
Time goes by, and Alfred still does not show up. Fifteen minutes pass and the students, while enjoying their breakfasts, are possibly starting to wonder where the hell their teacher is.
Eventually, in one of the sudden silences that comes during meals, the students hear the scratching of a pen on paper.
Alfred stands up from his seat at the head of the table and flips closed his notebook. "For the curious, I've been here for quite some time now." He places the notebook down on the table, takes a sip of tea, and begins his lecture.
"Welcome to Stealth and Deception. Many of you already know me from coming to my restaurant, but for those that do not, my name is Alfred Pennyworth. In my younger and wilder days, I worked as an agent for British Intelligence before retiring to take up a position as family butler for the Wayne family of Gotham. Currenly, I'm on sabbatical and run a restaurant here in Fandom.
"Now, stealth and deception. As weapons, there are few in your armory more powerful than these simple tools. Sun Tzu himself could not state enough times the importance of knowing more about your enemy than he knew about you. With the proper application of stealth, you can win a thousand battles without ever having to resort to violence. Indeed, should you have to fire a shot or throw a punch or even dice someone to pieces with monofilament wires while using the techniques I intend to teach you, I'm afraid to say that you have failed."
"Unless, of course, your mission is an assassination," he added, giving Walter the slightest of nods.
"Now, many of you may be wondering how it was I escaped your notice for so long while you ate your breakfasts. The answer to this is the most basic tenants of stealth, and is the main lesson for today.
"The reason I escaped your notice today was that I had the proper mindset. Yes, mindset. By adopting a position of not wishing to be seen, by almost willing myself to become unimportant, unnoticeable; my body naturally follows suit, relaxing the muscles and becoming easier for the eye to pass over, easier for the brain to ignore." He smiled. "Generally this technique only works on people who aren't actively looking and who are in a generally relaxed state. Such as a bunch of students eating breakfast."
"Despite this, this mindset, along with one other, is essential to stealth. The other, is a state of paranoia. A belief that, at all times, someone is actively looking for you and you must take steps to insure that that person doesn't find you."
He smiled and refilled his cup of tea. "Well, that's enough of me lecturing you, which, if I remember my school days correctly, is always fairly boring. Why don't you all introduce yourselves. Tell us your names, a little about yourselves, and why you joined this class. Then, I want you to practice deception. Get up in pairs or groups of threes and play two truths and a lie. Tell your partner three statements, two of which are true, one of which is a lie. Your partner must guess which is the lie or face a penalty of your choosing."
He gave them a very serious glare. "And please, keep the penalties to the mildly uncomfortable or mildly embarrassing. I would not enjoy having to rescue you from angering one of the local monsters."
[[Wait for the OCD! OCD up!]]
When they arrived at the Cafe, they were led by Wadsworth to a back room where a long table with a delicious Cafe Fina breakfast spread lay. They were then informed that, due to unforeseen circumstances, Alfred would be a bit late this class.
Time goes by, and Alfred still does not show up. Fifteen minutes pass and the students, while enjoying their breakfasts, are possibly starting to wonder where the hell their teacher is.
Eventually, in one of the sudden silences that comes during meals, the students hear the scratching of a pen on paper.
Alfred stands up from his seat at the head of the table and flips closed his notebook. "For the curious, I've been here for quite some time now." He places the notebook down on the table, takes a sip of tea, and begins his lecture.
"Welcome to Stealth and Deception. Many of you already know me from coming to my restaurant, but for those that do not, my name is Alfred Pennyworth. In my younger and wilder days, I worked as an agent for British Intelligence before retiring to take up a position as family butler for the Wayne family of Gotham. Currenly, I'm on sabbatical and run a restaurant here in Fandom.
"Now, stealth and deception. As weapons, there are few in your armory more powerful than these simple tools. Sun Tzu himself could not state enough times the importance of knowing more about your enemy than he knew about you. With the proper application of stealth, you can win a thousand battles without ever having to resort to violence. Indeed, should you have to fire a shot or throw a punch or even dice someone to pieces with monofilament wires while using the techniques I intend to teach you, I'm afraid to say that you have failed."
"Unless, of course, your mission is an assassination," he added, giving Walter the slightest of nods.
"Now, many of you may be wondering how it was I escaped your notice for so long while you ate your breakfasts. The answer to this is the most basic tenants of stealth, and is the main lesson for today.
"The reason I escaped your notice today was that I had the proper mindset. Yes, mindset. By adopting a position of not wishing to be seen, by almost willing myself to become unimportant, unnoticeable; my body naturally follows suit, relaxing the muscles and becoming easier for the eye to pass over, easier for the brain to ignore." He smiled. "Generally this technique only works on people who aren't actively looking and who are in a generally relaxed state. Such as a bunch of students eating breakfast."
"Despite this, this mindset, along with one other, is essential to stealth. The other, is a state of paranoia. A belief that, at all times, someone is actively looking for you and you must take steps to insure that that person doesn't find you."
He smiled and refilled his cup of tea. "Well, that's enough of me lecturing you, which, if I remember my school days correctly, is always fairly boring. Why don't you all introduce yourselves. Tell us your names, a little about yourselves, and why you joined this class. Then, I want you to practice deception. Get up in pairs or groups of threes and play two truths and a lie. Tell your partner three statements, two of which are true, one of which is a lie. Your partner must guess which is the lie or face a penalty of your choosing."
He gave them a very serious glare. "And please, keep the penalties to the mildly uncomfortable or mildly embarrassing. I would not enjoy having to rescue you from angering one of the local monsters."
[[
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Lana gamely took a bite and tried to swallow, then fled to the bathroom as her stomach revolted. She returned a few minutes later, looking pale, clammy, and very subdued. "So... this is fun."
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[Sorry, screwed up there.]
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"So... avoiding the food penalties... Sing me something? Or do you get to go and if I guess wrong we cancel each other out?"
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Pip should his head. "No, I will not try to weasel my way out of a penalty."
He hummed a little before breaking into a spirited, albiet off-key, rendition of France's national anthem.
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"You've never fought a vampire?" she guessed, fully prepared to face another penalty.
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