fandomhigh | Retail 101, Monday morning, All and Sundries

The shop is closed for the duration of the workshop and Edmund has assumed without checking that the students would have figured out that they would be going to a retail establishment for a course titled Retail 101.

If they didn't? Well, he's in a good mood, perhaps he'll consider detention rather than making students hose Baldrick down and scrub him off with a broom. Clothed of course - even Edmund wasn't so cruel as to expect anyone to see Baldrick sans trousers.

"My name," he said, "is Edmund Blackadder the Third. This workshop is Retail 101: The Tongue is Mightier than the Sword. If you are not here for this workshop, now would be the time for you to piss off."

Edmund waited for any potential off pissing before continuing. "The key to retail is interacting with customers. But none of this touchy feely 21st century 'the customer is always right' rot. The customer is not only not always right - the customer is quite often completely wrong and stupid as well.

"This workshop is to teach you to deal with those customers without losing your mind - how to put them in their places, how to amuse yourself when you cannot, and how, upon occasion, to do the appropriate kowtowing for a well-heeled, or well-armed client.

"Today, I will be assessing your current skill level. I want each of you to pair up with another student." Edmund smiled the sort of smile you might expect to see in a dark alley on the wrong side of something shiny and very, very sharp. "As we have an odd number of students on the roster, one of you lucky souls will get to pair up with me.

"You will each take a turn behind the register as Clerk, while the other student takes a turn as Customer. Customer, your job is to attempt to pay for your purchase with these," he held up a stack of poker chips. "Clerk, your job is to explain, in whatever manner you find appropriate, that All and Sundries only accepts valid currency."

Edmund stood up and moved aside to allow the first pair to take their turn. "While you are waiting your turn, feel free to get some practice in, chat up the student of the gender of your preference, or familiarize yourself with the store's inventory - there will be a test."

[ooc: No, Edmund won't actually make anyone bathe Baldrick, although volunteers would never be turned away.]

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Edmund snatched up all three and sneered at them. "I'll take them." He slid a pile of poker chips across the counter at her. "Here. And be quick about it."

Dawn blinked. "Those are poker chips. I'm sorry, we don't accept poker chips as currency. Perhaps you have something else?"

Reminded of his encounter with Demyx, Edmund pressed on. "This is perfectly valid currency where I'm from. Exchange it."

Dawn folded her hands across her chest. "Where are you from?"

"Hull."

"As in corn?"

"How droll. Take the money, give me my change, and bag my purchases."

Dawn bagged his purchases, but tucked them behind the register. "As soon as you give me acceptable currency, I'll be happy to give you change." She beamed at him again.

"Are you daft? I have given you proper currency. Take it, give me my purchase, and go to the bank."

Dawn decided the hell with it, and channeled Anya. "This is not proper currency," she said, putting the chips on the counter with a certain amount of scorn.

"Proper currency is green and has strange pictures of dead straight white men and is endorsed by the United States government. It is the basis for the capitalist society. These," she said again, pushing them away as if they offended her, "are nothng but painted plastic and good for nothing."

"Better." Edmund pocketed the chips and nodded at Dawn. "There is no reason to tolerate blatant stupdity from your customer, Miss Summers. You were doing better at the end."

Dawn nodded. "Er, thank you."

"Keep that in mind for future workshops." He turned away, clearly dismissing her. "Good day."

"Good day." Dawn went back on the other side of the counter.

Retail 101, Monday morning, All and Sundries

Re: Pick a partner, general chatter, etc

Re: Pick a partner, general chatter, etc

Re: Pick a partner, general chatter, etc

Re: Pick a partner, general chatter, etc

Re: Pick a partner, general chatter, etc

Re: Pick a partner, general chatter, etc

Re: Pick a partner, general chatter, etc

Re: Pick a partner, general chatter, etc

Re: Pick a partner, general chatter, etc

Re: Pick a partner, general chatter, etc

Re: Pick a partner, general chatter, etc

Re: Pick a partner, general chatter, etc

Re: Pick a partner, general chatter, etc

Re: Pick a partner, general chatter, etc