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fandomhigh2006-07-05 12:20 am
wyld-stallyn.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2006-07-05 12:20 am
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Campfire Stories & Songs #7, 07/04/06, Near the Bonfire, Evening
Because it was the 4th of July, Ted decided not to hold everyone up. So he held the workshop at the bonfire and just decided to tell a story for anyone who was around.
"Evening dudes! This is my last workshop at Fandom High. I leave this weekend. You've all been most excellent dudes and babes. So today I'm gonna tell you one last story..." Ted's story drifted off into narrative.
***
Once upon a time, there was a miller's daughter named Jayenina. Her Dad, a guy who wore a blue suit all the time, wanted to look good in front of King Hawk and Queen Zoe, so he told them that Jayenina could turn straw into gold. He could have just said that she talks to her purse and that would have got their attention, but Dad was the extravagant type.
King Hawk locked Jayenina in a room with spinning wheel and a pile of straw and told her to turn it into gold by morning. If she didn't, her and her Dad would be executed. So, knowing that she couldn't turn straw into gold, Jayenina decided to spend her last hours before death playing Wheel of Fortune with the spinning wheel against herself. She was about to buy a vowel when a dwarf with spikey hair showed up. He agreed to spin the straw into gold if she gave him her necklace. She agreed, he did the job and he disappeared with the necklace.
The next night King Hawk decided to do the same thing because he wanted more gold. So Jayenina was stuck again. The dwarf showed up again and this time asked for her ring. Jayenina didn't know why the spikey-haired dwarf was obsessed with jewelry, but he was kinda cute in a dorky way and did the gold thing and talked to her in Norwegian, so she didn't ask. What dwarves did in the privacy of their own caves was up to them. He wasn't getting her high heels though.
The third night, Jayenina had run out of jewelry and the dwarf didn't take Visa, so they came to an agreement that the dwarf could have her first born child. Jayenina wasn't getting any, and she didn't see that changing in the near future, so she made the deal and was saved again. King Hawk and Queen Zoe were so impressed that after the third night they got their son, Prince Alec, to marry Jayenina. That whole thing about not getting any changed and soon they had a son.
The spikey-haired dwarf came to claim the child. Jayenina tried to bribe the dwarf, but as close as he came to being swayed by the deluxe microscope set and collection of Galaxy Quest DVDs, he didn't waver. But he did tell her that he'd give up his claim if Jayenina could guess his name in 3 days.
She bombed the first two nights, guessing things like Gregette and Belthazor and Leroy Gerald Jackson III, but on the third night she followed him home and heard him singing to the tune of 'I Will Survive' by Gloria Gaynor:
'At first I was real brave, I was dignified,
Kept turning straw into some gold to keep that girl alive
But then I spent so many nights thinking how she did me wrong
And I grew strong, and I learned how to carry on
So now I'm back, from my hiding place
I just walked in to find her there
With that shocked look upon her face
I told her 'bout our sordid deal
I told her what she did decree
"Back when you were desperate
Remember what you promised me?"
And now I'll go, walk out the door
Just turn around now
'Cause I'm not welcome anymore
Yeah she's the one who tried to bribe me with French Fries
She thought I'd crumble
She thought I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I!
I will survive
As long as I know how to hide
I know I'll stay alive
I'll have her child, yes I'll win
Unless she guesses Rumpelstiltskin
And I'll survive
I will survive! Hey hey!"
And so when the spikey-haired dwarf returned on the third night, Jayenina guessed a few things and finished with Rumpelstiltskin. The dwarf was furious and huffed out of there to go and harass someone in Miami, Jayenina and Prince Alec were off the hook and no babies were eaten in the production of this story.
They lived happily ever after.
THE END
[OOC: All are welcome to this final class, not just those who signed up. Feel free to jump in if you think you'd be around.]
"Evening dudes! This is my last workshop at Fandom High. I leave this weekend. You've all been most excellent dudes and babes. So today I'm gonna tell you one last story..." Ted's story drifted off into narrative.
***
Once upon a time, there was a miller's daughter named Jayenina. Her Dad, a guy who wore a blue suit all the time, wanted to look good in front of King Hawk and Queen Zoe, so he told them that Jayenina could turn straw into gold. He could have just said that she talks to her purse and that would have got their attention, but Dad was the extravagant type.
King Hawk locked Jayenina in a room with spinning wheel and a pile of straw and told her to turn it into gold by morning. If she didn't, her and her Dad would be executed. So, knowing that she couldn't turn straw into gold, Jayenina decided to spend her last hours before death playing Wheel of Fortune with the spinning wheel against herself. She was about to buy a vowel when a dwarf with spikey hair showed up. He agreed to spin the straw into gold if she gave him her necklace. She agreed, he did the job and he disappeared with the necklace.
The next night King Hawk decided to do the same thing because he wanted more gold. So Jayenina was stuck again. The dwarf showed up again and this time asked for her ring. Jayenina didn't know why the spikey-haired dwarf was obsessed with jewelry, but he was kinda cute in a dorky way and did the gold thing and talked to her in Norwegian, so she didn't ask. What dwarves did in the privacy of their own caves was up to them. He wasn't getting her high heels though.
The third night, Jayenina had run out of jewelry and the dwarf didn't take Visa, so they came to an agreement that the dwarf could have her first born child. Jayenina wasn't getting any, and she didn't see that changing in the near future, so she made the deal and was saved again. King Hawk and Queen Zoe were so impressed that after the third night they got their son, Prince Alec, to marry Jayenina. That whole thing about not getting any changed and soon they had a son.
The spikey-haired dwarf came to claim the child. Jayenina tried to bribe the dwarf, but as close as he came to being swayed by the deluxe microscope set and collection of Galaxy Quest DVDs, he didn't waver. But he did tell her that he'd give up his claim if Jayenina could guess his name in 3 days.
She bombed the first two nights, guessing things like Gregette and Belthazor and Leroy Gerald Jackson III, but on the third night she followed him home and heard him singing to the tune of 'I Will Survive' by Gloria Gaynor:
'At first I was real brave, I was dignified,
Kept turning straw into some gold to keep that girl alive
But then I spent so many nights thinking how she did me wrong
And I grew strong, and I learned how to carry on
So now I'm back, from my hiding place
I just walked in to find her there
With that shocked look upon her face
I told her 'bout our sordid deal
I told her what she did decree
"Back when you were desperate
Remember what you promised me?"
And now I'll go, walk out the door
Just turn around now
'Cause I'm not welcome anymore
Yeah she's the one who tried to bribe me with French Fries
She thought I'd crumble
She thought I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I!
I will survive
As long as I know how to hide
I know I'll stay alive
I'll have her child, yes I'll win
Unless she guesses Rumpelstiltskin
And I'll survive
I will survive! Hey hey!"
And so when the spikey-haired dwarf returned on the third night, Jayenina guessed a few things and finished with Rumpelstiltskin. The dwarf was furious and huffed out of there to go and harass someone in Miami, Jayenina and Prince Alec were off the hook and no babies were eaten in the production of this story.
They lived happily ever after.
THE END
[OOC: All are welcome to this final class, not just those who signed up. Feel free to jump in if you think you'd be around.]
Re: Participate
He took a deep breath, and began.
"There was once a foolish old king who had three daughters. As time passed, he grew old, and decided to divide his kingdom amongst the three of them. His one condition for receiving land was that they tell him how much they loved him. The eldest told him she loved him more than her own husband, and received a third of the kingdom. The middle daughter told him that she loved him more than her own life, and received a third of the kingdom. But the youngest daughter, who was both honest and stubborn refused to flatter her father, Enraged, he banished her from the kingdom, and gave her share of the land to her two elder sisters.
"The old king then planed to spend the rest if his life divided between his two daughters, resting half the year with one, and half the year with the other. But his daughters had little love for a dependant old man, regardless of whether he was their father or not, and treated him poorly, and gradually stripped him of his remaining power and ranking. After they had worked their plans, he ended up alone in the wilderness, raving madly at the world. In the meantime, his eldest daughters became infatuated with a man who attempted to control the country, and ended up fighting with each other in a jealous attempt to reach his cold heart.
"While the old king was raving in the wilderness, his youngest daughter returned in secret to care for him. The ruler of a neighbouring kingdom had noted her honesty in dealing with her father, and had married her without a dowry, and agreed to send soldiers to reinstate him as the proper king. She restored some of his health, but they were soon captured by soldiers belonging to the elder sisters and the man they loved. When the two elder sisters murdered each other, the old king and youngest daughter were released from prison, but it was too late. The daughter was hung before she was pardoned, and the king died of heartbreak, leaving the kingdom to a distantly related noble family."
He paused. "The moral of this story is that old men are fools."
Re: Participate