The Long Con, Wednesday, Period 1 [1/7]

[talentforlying]

It was a grumpy, rumpled librarian that stomped his way into class after the students had arrived, bonelessly dropping into his chair and kicking his feet up on to his desk as he fished about in his coat for some cigarettes.

God, why the fuck had he been assigned first period? This was some sort of fucking revenge by that sodding moose, wasn't it? John hadn't started drinking yet, but this was fucking inhumane, to be sober at this hour. Bloody hell.

"Right, I'm Constantine, and you're most likely here because you're gullible and thinking this is going to be an easy 'A', a delinquent, or for some strange reason thought this was an academic class with philosophical value," he said, lighting up. "More the fools you, but I can work with it."

"So, let's start with the basics. A con is a game, one where hopefully you're the one writing the rules and the people around you are the pieces you're moving. It's a scam, a grift, a hustle, all those words designed to make it sound as shady as possible, although the number of reasons you could be running a con are infinite, at least when you're justifying it to yourself. It usually just boils down to one, very simple motivation: You want something," he continued bluntly. "So give me your name - or whatever the hell you want to be called for the purposes of this class, I don't care - and tell me one time you ran a scam on someone. Give me an idea of what you already know, kids, then we'll get on to Arts and Crafts."

...did he mean for that to sound slightly ominous? Maybe. It was too fucking early for this shite.

Comments

Sign-In #1

[talentforlying]

With an ulterior motive!

Re: Sign-In #1

[not_a_haint]

Caleb Melvin

Re: Sign-In #1

[mostnonheinous]

Billie Logan

During the "Lecture"

[talentforlying]

If you can call it that... take notes, pass notes, boggle at whom they let teach...

Re: During the "Lecture"

[mostnonheinous]

Billie found the teacher kind of fascinating, actually. It was the way he leaned so hard into late 20th century stylistic tropes of the anti-hero, maybe.

Mostly it was how she wanted to score his movements. Using Sting was the obvious choice, of course, but she could see some Bowie and maybe a bit of Billy Idol, here. . . .

Re: During the "Lecture"

[intheeyeofthebeholding]

Jon was annoyed that John was smoking.

Because damn it, now he wanted one. It was even his brand! This was so unfair.

Talk and Stuff!

[talentforlying]

"You," John said, pointing at someone at random. "Kick us off, sunshine. Give me a name, and one time you've run a scam or a con on someone."

Re: Talk and Stuff!

[not_a_haint]

"Uh, my name's Caleb, sir. And..." he wracked his brain. "I convinced a couple'a the younger kids back home that there was a booger lurkin' in the cabinet that had the lye in it." For some reason "That stuff is dangerous" hadn't been enough to dissuade them, he'd had to invent a slimy thing made of teeth.

Re: Talk and Stuff!

[mostnonheinous]

Speaking of people who had a distinctly musical presence to Billie. Just, you know, this time with fiddles instead of electric guitar.

"What's a booger? I'm guessing you don't mean the stuff in your nose."

Re: Talk and Stuff!

[talentforlying]

"Where you got kids, you got 'boogers,' though I doubt we're talking about the same thing, mate," John drawled. "I take it yours is more of a bogeyman situation?"

Re: Talk and Stuff!

[mostnonheinous]

"Hi! I'm Billie Logan." Sorry about your probable hangover, teach, this girl was bubbliness personified. "I don't know if this counts, but my cousin and I did convince the daughter of the Great Leader to let us borrow her time machine so we could convince Jimi Hendrix, Louis Armstrong, Mozart, Ling Lun, and a prehistoric drummer named Grom to come to 2020 with us and help our dads save the universe."

She lied 0% of the time while doing it, too. Which was kind of impressive when you thought about it!

. . . She was going to fail this class.

Re: Talk and Stuff!

[talentforlying]

"Did you lie or stretch the truth in creative ways at all while doing the convincing, sunshine?" John asked. "If not, it's less a con, more just playing the charming cards in your hand."

Re: Talk and Stuff!

[intheeyeofthebeholding]

"Jonathan Sims. I...I don't think I've ever run a scam on anyone."

Well. Not successfully. Look, Jon was a shit liar.

"I...I helped come up with a plan for someone else to distract my boss so that someone could go into his office and steal something," he offered.

Re: Talk and Stuff!

[talentforlying]

"Outright theft generally doesn't fall under the umbrella of the con, mate, but we'll give you the dubious honor of being a criminal accessory," John decided.

Re: Talk and Stuff!

[wildgalegirl]

Oh John, how terrible for you because not only did you have the incredibly bubbly Billy in your class, you also had the cheerfulness personified Charlie to brighten your morning. I mean, this girl only had a small hand purse show up on Baggage Day!

"Charlie Gale, and I run cons on my Aunties all the time. Whenever they want me to Walk through the Wood to pick someone up and bring them home I always complain and say I don't want to. Which means they send me more often. Which means I can go early and do something fun wherever I have to go."

Re: Talk and Stuff!

[talentforlying]

Fucking hell, how many little rays of sunshine was he going to have in this class? And John could practically hear the capital letters in what she was saying, which usually meant fucking magic or destinies or some shite.

Yes, he was a magus, no, that didn't mean he wanted to deal with it in class.

"Ah yes, a time honored classic for manipulating family members," he said, "A variant on the bait-and-switch, where instead of goods, you're scamming them on time. Well done."

Re: Talk and Stuff!

[mostnonheinous]

"Charlie!" Billie cheered.

She kept meaning to contact the girl, but then getting lost in her own music work.

Arts & Crafts! (Kinda)

[talentforlying]

"Right then," he said, pulling a laptop out of his desk once everyone was through introductions. "We're starting with the first and most basic con, the fake ID."

"I want each of you to take a few moments coming up with a new name and identity, something you can remember easily in a pinch -- especially the birthday, that's the one they always ask while they're holding your ID -- then get your asses up here to place an order through the wonders of the internet."

Look, he was pretty sure half these kids didn't have any kind of ID in the first place. They might as well have something to have with them if they wanted to go do anything off-island, where people demanded ID for shite as ridiculous as a PG-13 movie.

"And yes, before you ask, I'll make you more than one, if you want one with your legal name too. Just don't let it blow back on me if you get caught, yeah?"

John Constantine, everyone. Role Model.

Re: Arts & Crafts! (Kinda)

[not_a_haint]

And just like that, Caleb was sold. He was going to need identification, wasn't he. And it was more than just living under an assumed surname.

What was more striking to him was that device the professor was using. And he added "internet" to his list of things to look up. Pretending not to be baffled at that might be considered good practice for pretending to be someone he wasn't.

He quickly considered a few names, Melvin Absher, Floyd Blevins, even Dirk Rockbone before settling on Derrick Rockson, and May 1 as the birthday.

"Uh, I think I would like an ID with my proper name on it as well, sir."

Re: Arts & Crafts! (Kinda)

[talentforlying]

"We can do that," John said, nodding. "Now, you want just an American driver license, or also a passport for here or another country?"

Look, having multiple options was important!

Re: Arts & Crafts! (Kinda)

[mostnonheinous]

Billie had an ID that let her do all the things already. But sure, she could roll with this assignment.

"Wilhelmina Preston," she decided, and after a beat, "Esquire."

Her uncle would be so proud.

. . . Maybe less so that she proceeded to offer her very real birth date. Seriously, she was going to fail this class.

Re: Arts & Crafts! (Kinda)

[intheeyeofthebeholding]

Jon...supposed it couldn't hurt to have ID, even if he rarely made it off the island and didn't generally drive.

He'd just get it in his legal name, though. And have it make him about ten years older. Only because if it said 35, nobody would believe it.

Re: Arts & Crafts! (Kinda)

[wildgalegirl]

Hmmm... Name...

Lettie... close enough to Charlotte... And Wild. No, Wilde... Wild Charlotte. Even the Aunties might approve.

If they were going to approve of her getting an ID under a different name, that is. Which they wouldn't. Probably.

"So, I think I'll be Lettie Wilde," she said. "And for a birthday... Let's go with December 1st. Sagittarius all the way. 2003. So I'm not that much older than I really am."

Talk to the Teacher

[talentforlying]

He's around after class. Not before. That would have required him to be on-time.

OOC

[talentforlying]

Putting my insomnia to work and posting eaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarly. WOO!