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internet for dummies

How to Waste Time on the Internet, 3rd period

Jon stood in front of the class and gave them a firm (and only slightly awkward) nod.

"Apparently the way to get the moose to approve my courses is to offer ridiculous things. So, welcome to How to Waste Time on the Internet." He sighed.

"The truth is, there are any number of ways to do that. Most of the internet is one huge waste of time, albeit some parts more interesting and informative than others. But today we're wasting time by introducing ourselves. So, give us your name, how experienced you are or are not with the internet, and if you have one, your favorite time-wasting method involving it. I am Jonathan Sims, I've got about an average amount of experience, which is to say I've been using it since I was in school but I'm still constantly finding ways to be appalled by it, and my favorite method of wasting time involving it is probably cat videos."

He nodded to the first student. "Your turn."

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Ready to waste time!

Lydia Bennet

Luma Zarrin

Adrian Blackwood

Rey Skywalker

Marvel that your teacher is, in fact, a millennial.

Pay no mind to the way Lydia's eyes popped wide open in alarm when you mentioned cat videos, Jon, that was probably nothing.

Jon was attuned to fear; of course he noticed. He was just going to ignore it politely, though, because he was also English.

Introduction time! Your name, internet experience level, and favorite online time-waster.

"I am Miss Lydia Bennet," said Miss Lydia Bennet, "and I suppose I have rather more experience with the internet than you would expect from a woman hailing from the year 1811. I'm quite familiar with TikTok, and can usually use Google." So there was no need to cover TikTok in this class, Jon. None at all. She already had it under control.

Edited 2025-07-07 17:33 (UTC)

"Welcome, Miss Bennet," Jon said. "TikTok is definitely a waste of time; maybe you can help us when we cover it."

"My name is Luma Zarrin," she announced with a smug sort of lift of her chin and a faint smirk, as if she expected that, after the last class, Jon would have thought he'd be rid of her, even if there hadn't exactly been animosity or anything like that. It was just that this was her first class with a recurring teacher, and she just assumed that most of her teachers would be relieved to see her name absent from their rosters, really. "And I don't know anything about the internet except for what my sister has told me about it on these little personal phones," she held up her own as if the visual aid during a class literally about the internet was necessary, "because we didn't have it back in the '70s, and even if we did, we were hardly up to date on technology. Luddites, really, the lot of us, we didn't even have a television set. But I do enjoy using it to look up what's popular and fashionable, and I've really been enjoying YouTube for tutorials on how to do make-up and nails..."

She then held up her hand to show off her own nails, blinked, and remembered that she hadn't done them since her last stint as a wolf that weekend ruined the last paint job. Crestfallen, she lowered her hand, almost a bit embarrassed.

"Well," she amended, "I haven't had a chance to redo them before class."

On the contrary, Jon was happy to have Luma in class! A recurring student meant he knew more or less what to expect, and since Luma reminded him a little of Daisy, he actually liked her.

"Youtube is a huge waste of time," Jon noted, nodding. "There are so many topics you can find there. I look forward to your recommendations when we get there. And, um. Well, I'm sure you can show us your nails once you do have a chance to redo them."

"I'm Adrian Blackwood and I mostly use the internet to buy things off Amazon that I need and to post reviews of my sister's novels," Adrian said. "I don't really use the internet to waste time? But I feel like perhaps I should. Just to keep up with folks here on the island."

"Amazon is a waste of money as well as time," Jon said. And bit his tongue before he got off on a tangent about the evils of capitalism. "Especially if you go there not looking for anything in particular. But I hope we'll be able to help you find other ways to waste time."

Yeah, so Rey didn't tend to take classes because of, you know, life, so this was a surprise.

"I'm Rey, and I've been here long enough to manage the internet just fine, but I don't really use it unless I have to look something up or order something."

"With luck, we won't completely ruin your work ethic," Jon said, "but there are fun time-wasters there, so maybe you'll enjoy a few."

He's here!

I miss I Can Haz Cheezburger.

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How to Waste Time on the Internet, 3rd period

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Talk to Jon!

OOC!