fandomhigh | How to Be an Entertainer Workshop #1, Caritas, 05.24.06, Afternoon

[OOC: I'll be AFK at work for most of the day, so interaction will have to be just between you lovely people until later. It'll be okay! Workshop info post will be up ASAP.]

After the students made their way into the lounge at Caritas, the zombie band started playing "The Final Countdown" and GOB took the stage.

"Hi there. My name is GOB Bluth and I'm here to teach you how to be an entertainer. Over the next few weeks, you'll be trying your hand at ventriloquism, dancing, illusion, and today's topic, singing. We're in a karaoke bar. You should have seen this one coming."

"So today, we're focusing on music. You'll be getting on stage and doing two songs today. The first song should be something you like, the second should be something you hate. The second one is important because your manager is going to force you to do things you hate. This is a small example of that."

"If you're not in stage, you're on heckle duty. Yell at them, toughen them up. Remember, singers, it's nothing personal. I'm a fantastic illusionist and some people in the crowd are still jerks."

"I also want you to start thinking about your entrance music. Next week, you'll be telling the class what kind of music you want to introduce your arrival. You will live this music. Eat it, breathe it, change your ring tone to it. When people hear this music, they will think of you. In my experience, 80's music works best for this kind of stuff."

"Oh, and if anyone tries to use any of that Rob Thomas crap for anything in this class, the Zombie Band gets your brain. That's not a threat, it's a promise. If you need me, I'll be at the bar."

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Nadia was no stranger to the Caritas stage. She wasn't even always drunk when she sang any more. So she smiled as she picked up the mike and started into her first song.

I am thinking it's a sign that the freckles in our eyes
are mirror images and when we kiss they're perfectly aligned.
I have to speculate that god himself did make us
into corresponding shapes like puzzle pieces from the clay.
True, it may seem like a stretch, but it's thoughts like these
that catch my troubled head when you're away and I am missing you to death.
When you are out there on the road for several weeks at shows
And when you scan the radios I hope this song will guide you home.

They will see us waving from such great heights.
"Come down now," they'll say,
But everything looks perfect from far away,
"Come down now,"
But we'll stay.

I tried my best to leave this all on your machine
But the persistent beat it sounded thing upon listening.
That frankly will not fly, you'll hear the shrillest highs
And lowest lows with the windows down while this is guiding you home.

They will see us waving from such great heights.
"Come down now," they'll say,
But everything looks perfect from far away,
"Come down now,"
But we'll stay.

They will see us waving from such great heights.
"Come down now,"
They will see us waving from such great heights.
"Come down now,"

"Hahahaha! Come." said Peter "You're a dirty one."

"Not dirty!" Nadia shouted back.

Kawalsky cackled.

Jamie is snoring very loudly.

Nadia took the microphone off the stand and went into the audience to sing loudly directly into Jamie's ear.

"Not now, Mom. Late for school," Jamie muttered as he fell asleep against the table.

Nadia hooked his chair with one foot and yanked it back as she walked past, still singing.

John proceeds to start tap dancing in the audience.

Nadia grins at this and gestures for a spotlight for John.

It's possible that there are no spotlights to be trained on him. . . . but it's the thought that counts.

"Oh, you're done? Sorry, I got bored with that song and started entertaining myself."

"I was pausing to give you ample opportunity to provide a demonstration of how not to dance."

"Well, it was easy to dance badly in the light of such bad singing," John retorts.

"Then you must have had a hard time," Nadia said sweetly. "I'm proud of you."

He wipes away an imaginary tear.

"The day has come when Nadia is proud of me. I think my life is complete."

"Well, almost. There needs to be boykissy, first."

"Not happenin'." John shakes his head. "Not while I'm in my right mind."

"So your left mind is gay?"

"Yes, extremely gay," he says sarcastically. "It wears pink and dances the tango on the regular basis."

Nadia grinned, imagining John in pink dancing a tango. "Sounds like your left mind is much more entertaining than your right. Perhaps the left mind should be the one doing this workshop?"

"Unfortunately, Eduardo is currently on vacation in Tahiti. You'll be getting me instead." He shrugs. "Sorry."

"I suppose I will have to live with the disappointment. When is Eduardo scheduled to return?"

"When prime tanning season ends," John replies. "So, hopefully soon. He's a fierce opponent of fake 'n bake, you know."

"I would expect nothing less, of course."

Kawalsky swayed along for the song. "Wooooh," he called at one point.

How to Be an Entertainer Workshop #1, Caritas, 05.24.06, Afternoon

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