Navaan (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
doesdoctorstuff) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2024-07-26 01:15 am
doesdoctorstuff) wrote in fandomhigh2024-07-26 01:15 am
Entry tags:
Romancing For Dummies, Period 1
"So, like, obviously you have to talk to people that you wanna be romantic with." Yet another clear reason that sex was so much better, you could skip talking entirely, but Navaan had pretty much given up on this class understanding the obvious - which was why she was saying it now. "And at least some of that talk has to be flirting. How else is the person you're talking to gonna know you wanna...umm. Date them? Or whatever?" Not the verb she'd been thinking of, but again, this class. "If you talk to them the say way to talk to your teacher or a waiter or a coworker or whatever, how are they supposed to know that you want - err, like - them in a different way than you do those people?" Even Navaan varied up how she talked to people. There were the 'people I'm probably not gonna flang for some reason' and 'everybody else.'
"Obviously, the difference between talking to people you wanna date and just random people is called flirting. If you like someone, flirt with them. Then they'll hopefully know you're into them. Some people are clueless and don't know flirting from a hole in the ground. Those are sad, sad people who spend a lot of time trying to figure out why no one is interested in them and then months or years later will realize that somebody was and they missed it. See, cause, if you like someone and you flirt with them, and you don't suck so bad at flirting that you turn them off entirely and they never wanna see you again which happens, I've seen it, they'll flirt back. If you flirt with someone and they don't flirt back, either they're not interested, or they're oblivious, or your terrible at flirting. But no matter which one it is, it still feels bad. Starting to flirt with someone is the equivalent of saying 'I like you and wanna get to know you better.' When someone doesn't flirt back, they're basically saying, 'No thanks.' We'll talk about how to tell if it's disinterest, obliviousness, or that you botched another class, but today we're gonna talk about flirting."
Don't read too much into we'll talk about this another class. Your classes were based on whatever was in Navaan's head at any given moment, very little of which was coherent.
"Now, the problem with figuring out flirting is that everybody is always trying to figure out what to say that counts as flirting. Most people who think they're bad at flirting mean that they they're not comfortable talking or can't think of things to say. Both of those are wrong. Flirting isn't in what you say. It's in what you do when you say it. Like, don't worry about opening lines. Those are only good if you're trying to find somebody who wants to fuck. But you're all looking for romance--" Another sigh. "--so don't worry about that. What you're trying to do is indicate interest. And a lot of that's done with things you don't say, but things that you do. It's eye contact, posture, smiles, and touch."
This is it, folks. The one class per semester where she delivers potentially useful information, before resuming her usual fucking nonsense.
"Eye contact. It's real powerful. If you know what you're doing, you can upgrade that to eye-fucking, but none of you are that good except maybe the twink. We'll see how things progress. So don't worry about eye-fucking yet, just work on doing eye contact right. And doing it right means doing it a little bit but not too much. Staring at someone is creepy. Making them hold your eye contact for a real long time makes them uncomfortable. Too much eye contact makes you seem aggressive. Too little makes it seem like you're bored and not paying attention. If you're not talking to somebody you wanna be, a good thing to do is make eye contact for about a second, glance away, and then look back. If they're still looking at you or you can catch their eye again, that's a sign they're interested. Offer them a smile or a quick raise of the eyebrows. That's you saying 'hello, wanna talk?' If they smile back or nod or something like that, the answer is yes. If they look away or pretend they don't see you or shake their head, it's a no. Remember the trick to all of this is quick. Subtle. If you spend more than a second on any of these things, you come off like a weirdo. Don't be a weirdo.
"Okay, so now you're talking. Great. How do you let them know you're flirting? Lean in a little bit, like you don't wanna miss a word they're saying. Casually touch them - brush your arms against each other, nudge them with a shoulder, let your fingers skim over theirs. Don't be all up in their personal space or you'll come across like a creeper again, but be casual close - close enough to hear them speaking quietly, but not so close you can hear them whisper. Smile at them. Not a lot, cause you'll come off as creepy or fake, but the kind of smile that says you're interested in what they're saying. Keep your posture open - if you're hunched over or you've got your arms folded against your chest, or your body is angled away from them, you're sending off signs that say 'Stay away!' or 'Not interested!' Which is also what it means if their posture is that. Keep up the eye contact, but it can be a little longer now. Weird thing I've noticed. If you're talking, you make less eye contact. If you're listening, make more. So if you're talking, don't be afraid of letting your eyes bounce around - just make sure they come back to the other person pretty often. Every time it comes back, it reinforces the idea you're invested in them and talking to them, especially if you smile while you're doing it. If you're listening, focus on looking at their face more. But glance away for shorter amounts of time and glance back at their faces more often. Don't stare! No staring! But if your attention wanders, it seems like you're bored. Unless you are bored, then you can show it by looking around or wandering off. Or get them to stop talking more fun ways, but again, you all seem too stiff and sexless to do anything like that." But hey, you all could work on that like you were working on flirting! You'd all be much more interesting if you did.
"Once you seem to be hitting it off real good or you're already friends but somehow not fucking--" again, stiff and sexless virgins "--bump it up to the next level. Get in their personal space. Make those touches longer and lingering and deliberate. Touch their cheeks, their throats, their shoulders. Give slow smiles. Laugh. Look at someone though your lashes or out of the corner of your eyes. Pay attention to how and how much they're touching you and mirror that back. You wanna be roughly on the same page as what the other person's doing. If you do way more than they are, you're coming on strong. If you do way less than they are, you're saying you're not interested.
"Last, even if we're not talking about what you're saying yet, how you say something matters. You wanna go for deep, low, and slow. Awwww yeeeah. But also when you're talking, too. Speaking in a slightly lower register, deep-toned, and a bit slower is sexier. You're taking your time. Practice saying things in different ways. Depending on how you say 'Good evening,' you can sound like you're saying 'I want your clothes on my floor,' or you can sound like you're saying, 'I never want to speak to you again.' Practice saying different words and phrases different ways to get a feel for what messages you're sending with your words."
And now she was bored of the topic. "Yeah, that's all I've got to say about that. Again, just going for sex is way less complicated and has a better pay-off in the end. I know I keep saying that, but I keep hoping it will sink in for some of you and you forget this whole 'looking for romance' thing and take the more fun option."
"Obviously, the difference between talking to people you wanna date and just random people is called flirting. If you like someone, flirt with them. Then they'll hopefully know you're into them. Some people are clueless and don't know flirting from a hole in the ground. Those are sad, sad people who spend a lot of time trying to figure out why no one is interested in them and then months or years later will realize that somebody was and they missed it. See, cause, if you like someone and you flirt with them, and you don't suck so bad at flirting that you turn them off entirely and they never wanna see you again which happens, I've seen it, they'll flirt back. If you flirt with someone and they don't flirt back, either they're not interested, or they're oblivious, or your terrible at flirting. But no matter which one it is, it still feels bad. Starting to flirt with someone is the equivalent of saying 'I like you and wanna get to know you better.' When someone doesn't flirt back, they're basically saying, 'No thanks.' We'll talk about how to tell if it's disinterest, obliviousness, or that you botched another class, but today we're gonna talk about flirting."
Don't read too much into we'll talk about this another class. Your classes were based on whatever was in Navaan's head at any given moment, very little of which was coherent.
"Now, the problem with figuring out flirting is that everybody is always trying to figure out what to say that counts as flirting. Most people who think they're bad at flirting mean that they they're not comfortable talking or can't think of things to say. Both of those are wrong. Flirting isn't in what you say. It's in what you do when you say it. Like, don't worry about opening lines. Those are only good if you're trying to find somebody who wants to fuck. But you're all looking for romance--" Another sigh. "--so don't worry about that. What you're trying to do is indicate interest. And a lot of that's done with things you don't say, but things that you do. It's eye contact, posture, smiles, and touch."
This is it, folks. The one class per semester where she delivers potentially useful information, before resuming her usual fucking nonsense.
"Eye contact. It's real powerful. If you know what you're doing, you can upgrade that to eye-fucking, but none of you are that good except maybe the twink. We'll see how things progress. So don't worry about eye-fucking yet, just work on doing eye contact right. And doing it right means doing it a little bit but not too much. Staring at someone is creepy. Making them hold your eye contact for a real long time makes them uncomfortable. Too much eye contact makes you seem aggressive. Too little makes it seem like you're bored and not paying attention. If you're not talking to somebody you wanna be, a good thing to do is make eye contact for about a second, glance away, and then look back. If they're still looking at you or you can catch their eye again, that's a sign they're interested. Offer them a smile or a quick raise of the eyebrows. That's you saying 'hello, wanna talk?' If they smile back or nod or something like that, the answer is yes. If they look away or pretend they don't see you or shake their head, it's a no. Remember the trick to all of this is quick. Subtle. If you spend more than a second on any of these things, you come off like a weirdo. Don't be a weirdo.
"Okay, so now you're talking. Great. How do you let them know you're flirting? Lean in a little bit, like you don't wanna miss a word they're saying. Casually touch them - brush your arms against each other, nudge them with a shoulder, let your fingers skim over theirs. Don't be all up in their personal space or you'll come across like a creeper again, but be casual close - close enough to hear them speaking quietly, but not so close you can hear them whisper. Smile at them. Not a lot, cause you'll come off as creepy or fake, but the kind of smile that says you're interested in what they're saying. Keep your posture open - if you're hunched over or you've got your arms folded against your chest, or your body is angled away from them, you're sending off signs that say 'Stay away!' or 'Not interested!' Which is also what it means if their posture is that. Keep up the eye contact, but it can be a little longer now. Weird thing I've noticed. If you're talking, you make less eye contact. If you're listening, make more. So if you're talking, don't be afraid of letting your eyes bounce around - just make sure they come back to the other person pretty often. Every time it comes back, it reinforces the idea you're invested in them and talking to them, especially if you smile while you're doing it. If you're listening, focus on looking at their face more. But glance away for shorter amounts of time and glance back at their faces more often. Don't stare! No staring! But if your attention wanders, it seems like you're bored. Unless you are bored, then you can show it by looking around or wandering off. Or get them to stop talking more fun ways, but again, you all seem too stiff and sexless to do anything like that." But hey, you all could work on that like you were working on flirting! You'd all be much more interesting if you did.
"Once you seem to be hitting it off real good or you're already friends but somehow not fucking--" again, stiff and sexless virgins "--bump it up to the next level. Get in their personal space. Make those touches longer and lingering and deliberate. Touch their cheeks, their throats, their shoulders. Give slow smiles. Laugh. Look at someone though your lashes or out of the corner of your eyes. Pay attention to how and how much they're touching you and mirror that back. You wanna be roughly on the same page as what the other person's doing. If you do way more than they are, you're coming on strong. If you do way less than they are, you're saying you're not interested.
"Last, even if we're not talking about what you're saying yet, how you say something matters. You wanna go for deep, low, and slow. Awwww yeeeah. But also when you're talking, too. Speaking in a slightly lower register, deep-toned, and a bit slower is sexier. You're taking your time. Practice saying things in different ways. Depending on how you say 'Good evening,' you can sound like you're saying 'I want your clothes on my floor,' or you can sound like you're saying, 'I never want to speak to you again.' Practice saying different words and phrases different ways to get a feel for what messages you're sending with your words."
And now she was bored of the topic. "Yeah, that's all I've got to say about that. Again, just going for sex is way less complicated and has a better pay-off in the end. I know I keep saying that, but I keep hoping it will sink in for some of you and you forget this whole 'looking for romance' thing and take the more fun option."
Re: Activity 1 - Don't Speak
"What happens here stays here, and we pretend this is just an acting game?" he offered as he sat beside her.
Re: Activity 1 - Don't Speak
Re: Activity 1 - Don't Speak
"If you could make it sound like I wasn't a total idiot, that would be great."
Re: Activity 1 - Don't Speak
And with that she shifted herself in to flirtatious mode doing her best to channel Arden in this situation. Because that's the angle Kamala was taking today. Buckle up, Cal.
She started off with a hair flip and a sultry "Blah, blah, blah," in her best Southern accent. Which was actually pretty bad.
Re: Activity 1 - Don't Speak
"Well, blah blah to you too," he said in a crime of a British accent. "I hope the day is treating you well."
Re: Activity 1 - Don't Speak
This was not a shocker.
“Blah blah Sweet tea blah,” Kamala said doing her worst/best Southern accent and also attempting to move like Arden does. And be sassy. “Blah blah triangle. Blah blah you owe me dinner blah blah paint ball.”
Re: Activity 1 - Don't Speak
"Oh, blah blah paintball?" he said, also mimicking Arden's accent. She was probably great at flirtation when she wanted to be, so channeling her made total sense. "Yeah, blah blah tourism." He leaned over a little and gave her a wink, because that seemed like a flirty thing to do. "Blah good hair tips blah."
Re: Activity 1 - Don't Speak
Nope. This was not working at all. So she said the only Southern expression that made sense at this moment.
"Bless your heart."
Goddess!
Oh. That's why Arden says it all the time.
Re: Activity 1 - Don't Speak