fandomhigh | Treat Yourself, Thursday, Period 2

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self-care

Treat Yourself, Thursday, Period 2

Various forms of communication had been sent out to inform Liliana's class that they would not be meeting at the school at all, but in town, at Theodoric's and should wear clothing that was easily adjusted to bare their calves. Getting scandalous up in here. Inside, they would find a ring of odd-looking chairs, all facing inwards for the ease of conversation. Those who recognized such things would realize that these were mani-pedi chairs; anyone who didn't would just see a comfortable, cushioned chair with a built-in basin. Liliana was already present, of course, her tall leather boots tucked against the side of her chair, already shin-deep in hot water and bubbles.

"Welcome to Treat Yourself," Liliana said to each person as they arrived. "Please remove your socks and shows, if you are wearing pants, adjust them so the cuffs are at your knees, and then take a seat. Your technician will arrive shortly to fill up your basin, and in the meantime, we'll have a bit of a chat. So, this is a class nominally about self-care, but really moreso about self-indulgence. Of course, self-indulgence is often a form of self-care, but with an emphasis on luxury and excess. And, contrary to many people's opinions, there isn't anything inherent wrong with either of those concepts. They are, in fact, not synonymous with over-indulgence or selfishness, the way that purists will try to insist. So they why a class on self-indulgence instead of sticking solely to the more palatable self-care? A number of reasons. First, everybody deserves to be a little self-indulgent sometimes." Or frequently, if you were Liliana. "This is a guarantee that you will at least be given the opportunity one hour a week, which I assume is more than many of you allot for yourselves by an amount that will only distress me. Furthermore, I'm looking forward to unpacking the various stigmas about self-indulgence, especially of the kind we will be engaging in. And lastly, self-care has been watered down to the point where it is simply another box to check off on someone's to-do lists - engaging with the concept in only the most cursory of fashion possible in order to leap back up into the grind."

Ridiculous behavior. Just absolutely nonsensical.

"Unlike my previous two classes, this is less a lecture and more of a discussion. I am interested in learning how you interact with the concept of self-indulgence, what thoughts and emotions that brings up for you and where you think those beliefs come from. Now, these questions are more for you than me; while I admit to being quite curious to your answers, the most important thing to me is that you engage with the questions themselves. Some of the questions may involve answers you're not comfortable with answering out loud. That's why, on the small tray tables next to you, you will find a journal and a pen--" or, in Ignis's case, a stylus and a slate and his paper was much thicker, closer to cardstock "--for you to write down your thoughts when there are questions you don't want to answer. I won't be collecting them for a grade or the like, they're yours. The only thing I ask is that you actually consider the questions I'm asking and make your best faith effort to try to answer them in the privacy of your own journal.

One of the staff wandered around, setting down flutes of champagne over poured over a single raspberry; unless you didn't drink, in which case it would be a glass of sparkling cider instead.

"Enough of an intro," she said. "I'm far more interested in listening to your answers today. At some point, add your name while you're answering a question and we'll count that as good enough for introductions."

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What is your opinion on the term "self-indulgent"? Do you see it as a negative thing or a positive thing? What emotions spring up when you think about self-indulgence, both in general and for yourself? Most importantly, why? Where did these feelings come from? Who benefits from them?

"I think a little self indulgence is good for the soul," Nell said. "But I was brought up to think that too much was lazy. Took me a long time to be able to not feel guilty about curling up with a good book and a cup of tea instead of finding one more chore that needed to be done."

"You mentioned that you were raised to think that 'too much' was lazy. How much was considered an acceptable amount? Were there certain activities that were allowed? Other activities that were explicitly disapproved of? For self-care or self-indulgence, specifically?"

Edited 2024-07-11 19:08 (UTC)

"When all the chores were done you might be able to settle for a moment without being shamed. Read the bible or even just sit out and enjoy the quiet for a little," Nell said. "My - Leah - every now and then she'd finagle John into letting us have a small glass of Sister Erasmus' wine of an evening. He didn't approve of anyone - women especially - drinking, but he had a hard time saying no to Leah. Plus, if Sister Eramsus made it he'un couldn't rightly say it wasn't Godly, what with her husbnad being one of the elders and all."

Her smile was more than a little bittersweet. "But mostly, you know it was 'idle hands are the devil's playground'.

"Er...well, I. I don't suppose it's bad," Jon said, only slightly doubtful. "I just...don't, really. There always seems like other things to do."

"Is this a belief you've held your whole life? Or is it...newer, based on more recent experiences?"

"Always," Jon said. "I just...I...well, I suppose if you consider reading and wandering self care, then I did that as a child. But...but there's always been school, and university, and work."

"Charlie Gale here," Charlie said cheerfully. "And I think self-indulgent is great. Not so sure my Aunties would say they agree, but you can bet they'd take full advantage of a class like this."

"What kind of self-indulgences are you drawn to, Charlie?" she asked. "If your Aunties disapprove of self-indulgence, where did you learn to enjoy it?"

"Well, you know, I'm Wild," Charlie said with a grin. "And more than a little lazy. I learned early on that I liked my creature comforts, though I'd say my self-idulgence ran more to music, pizza, and sleeping in."

"I think the rest of the world is fucked up and fucking me over enough that I fucking deserve whatever I want when I actually find a second," Margo said.

She was absolutely making a point of sinking into that seat.

"Truer words," Liliana said. "Do you make time for self-indulgence? Do you have preferred activities that you're drawn to, particularly when the world is especially fucked?"

"Ignis Scientia," he offered, once his shoes, socks tucked neatly within, were particularly set aside and the cuffs of his pants meticulously folded up in a way to best prevent them from being wrinkled too excessively once they were smoothed back down, "and I think the fact that I much prefer the term 'self-care' because then it at least also sounds somewhat productive is an excellent jumping off point to where I stand on the matter." But he smiled, faintly, but a smile all the same, as he settled back. "I'm a bit of what you may call a 'workhorse.' Up until fairly recently, 'indulgent' was a fairly foreign term, outside of its application to a particularly rich meal or dessert. And though I am trying to work it more liberally into my regular lexicon, I do believe that, like those rich meals and sumptuous dessers, it should be applied quite sparingly. Although never," the smile now was clearly not apologizing to anyone who might be privy to even the slightest inclination of meaning there, when considering his particular relationship with their instructor, "in half-measures."

"So do you see self-care as only valuable because it is the most, say, efficient means to return to your industrious lifecycle?" Liliana asked in a voice that most certainly didn't dip down into a purr on certain words, regardless of what you might have thought you heard. "Or do you see the value it represents for its own sake?"

"I believe," Ignis replied, and just listen to all these dropped, certainly not rumbling dips that their voices weren't doing, "it's all inexorably tied together. A part that functions all on its own is a part that does not function with the whole. Leisure time means little without work to balance it out, and the same goes for the reverse. That said, I do rather like to earn my indulgences. It does make them seem that much more worthwhile..."

"I grew up in a Hell," Illyana said, picking up her champagne with interest. "Having personal ethics was self-indulgent."

"I would have had every luxury if I had simply...bent." Her mouth quirked up slightly in bitter amusement as her fingers brushed the flute of the glass, and anyone watching with any magical sight would see a slight pulse go through the beverage as Yana checked it for poison or other traps. "It has left me suspicious of hidden costs of such indulgences for myself, while I still recognize the necessity for the escape from daily life."

It wasn't that she didn't trust you, Mistress Vess, but, well, Yana was a paranoid creature to her core.

Liliana was not insulted by the caution; if anything she approved of it wholeheartedly. "Hello, Illyana, darling, good to see you again." She considered Yana's word. "Are you afraid that getting used to self-indulgence will make it easier to justify decisions to bend later? And do you draw a difference from self-care and self-sabotage?"

"I can very easily be a very bad person," Illyana admitted easily. "I am impulsive, often violent, short-tempered, vengeful, and have old gods in the back of my brain who'd love to lead me into temptations that other people would not enjoy."

Due to world-ending and all that.

"Lack of discipline is a slippery slope, especially when it comes to magic. Keeping my indulgences mostly-practical prevents stumbling."

Between Liliana setting off every rich, dangerous topsider instinct she had and there being a grand total of one person she even halfway trusted in the room, Vi would not be sharing her thoughts with the class.

As for what she was writing in her journal, it was probably a good thing Liliana wasn't collecting those.

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Treat Yourself, Thursday, Period 2

Question 01: Self-Indulgence As a Concept

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