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Earth Tourism, Tuesday 5th period

Lana met everyone with her usual calm smile when they got to Portalocity. "We've been focusing on natural interest recently, so I thought we'd go to a city this time. Venice is a place in Italy - that's on the continent to the east of us. It was built over and around over one hundred islands, with canals interspersed as well, so there's a lot of water travel and quite a few bridges."

Their portal opened and she ushered them through. "We'll be taking a boat tour to see the most of it. And we'll have just enough time beforehand to grab some food to go from a local coffee house. Sorry it's not quite the culinary experience eating in would be, but we're strapped for time."

She grinned. "So, follow me!"

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Don't worry, it was a magic you too would some day learn, with your perfect amount of stubble that Arden was going to barely even notice, honest.

"Cal," Arden asked softly, letting go of his hand. "You...you think I'm vain?" She didn't sound offended. Just hurt.

Edited 2024-06-13 02:42 (UTC)

"What? Wait, no, that's--I meant it would be vain for me to be focused on how I look. Not that I think you're focused on that. That's not what I meant. You're fine, you're awesome, I would never--" Why did he even let himself talk sometimes? "Please don't be mad, I just meant this kind of stuff has never been important for me, because there were other things that were always supposed to be more important. How I present myself hasn't mattered in a really long time."

The bruised look was still in her eyes, but she shook her head. "How you present yourself is important," she said. "But even so...it's not about looks. It's about...letting yourself matter to you. It's about being willing to take the extra time to use three things instead of one because they're better for you." Which, bonus, think of how much more time you'd have to disassociate! "Taking care of yourself isn't the same as primping and preening in front of a mirror for hours. I'm not trying to change who you are, I just..."

She trailed off, hand once more coming up to her curls, tugging a few in front of her to look at them.

"I don't think you're trying to change me. You make a good argument," he said, reaching to try to take her hand again, if she'd let him. "I'm glad you care about yourself. I don't think that's a bad thing at all," he added quickly. "It just feels weird to think about myself like that, which means it must be wrong. For me, not you, in case I wasn't clear about that."

She let him take her hand, squeezing his. "It feels weird to think about yourself like that because I don't think you've ever learned the line between self-care and selfishness," she said. "You don't know how to put on your oxygen mask first and you'll keep pouring out of an empty cup and when nothing comes out, you'll blame the cup for the audacity of not holding more." Her hand came up to cup his cheek, looking into his eyes with her amber ones full of worry. "I worry that the one lesson you're never gonna learn is that you, Calgary Carmichael Kestis, matter even when we're not talking about the people in the galaxy who need help, or defeating the Empire, or your place in the Jedi Order. I mean, the Force has to agree with that, right? That you're just the same as anybody else to it? And that means that you deserve the same amount of care and kindness from yourself as you'd give to any other person, because you're worth just as much as they are."

Her thumb stroked over his cheek. You know. In a friendly way.

"Even if you don't feel like it."

"Okay, forget what I said earlier, that's the name that's going on my record," Cal said, snickering. It was hard to not want to just go along with everything she was saying when she looked into his eyes like that, mostly because it made it more difficult to pretend she wasn't right. "Yes, everyone is connected to the Force, and yes, people who aren't Force-sensitive deserve to be treated as well as anyone else. I don't suppose arguing that I'm a simple guy who doesn't need as much care is going to convince you of anything different?"

"Yeah, you're getting a million of these because I need to have a wholeass full name for you to bust out when you're being ridiculous," Arden said. "I haven't even gotten to the best ones yet. But--" She took her hand off his cheek to poke him gently in the forehead. "I'm not actually fussed about how you see people who aren't Force-sensitive, I'm saying I worry that you don't see yourself being as worthy of care as they are."

Which kiiiiinda came around to the potential of being patronizing and coddling them because he didn't see them as equal but that was sooooo not a conversation she was ready for--or was even sure if it was necessary!

"And you don't need as much care as...who, Cal? Go on. What is the standard of care you're weighing yourself against?" She was still holding his hand, but he was absolutely getting a 'bitch please' expression.

Ugh, why did she have to ask him all these difficult questions he didn't know how to answer without sounding dumb? "I don't need as much care as other people. I'm low-maintenance, it's a good thing," he said, trying to feign confidence like her stare alone wasn't wearing him down. "And I don't think that makes you high-maintenance or anything bad. I just... I haven't been in one place for this long in a number of years. Even if I planned on coming here, I wouldn't have a lot of stuff."

If it helped, at that, Arden glanced away, out towards the water. "I..." She faltered, but if she was going to ask questions that scored Cal down to the bone, she had to ante up, too. "Maybe your being low-maintenance is different than mine...is? Was? I don't even know anymore." She turned back to him, giving him a small smile that was made more of hurt than anything else. "I always tried to be low maintenance. Quiet. Perfect. Because maybe if I didn't make a fuss, showed people that I didn't need much, they'd wanna keep me around. If I couldn't be someone they wanted, maybe I could at least not be any trouble and that would...be enough? Balance the scales maybe?"

She forced a little laugh. "So who knows?" she said. "Maybe we're just out here debating my definition of 'low maintenance' because I've got all these hangups."

Well, okay, now the hand-holding wasn't enough, and Cal pulled her into a hug. "You shouldn't need to make yourself less. If people don't want to keep you around, they're the ones who are wrong. I like the you I get to see now, with your glow and your big curls and your giant heart. I hope you never feel like you have to be quiet here."

For once, Arden didn't even focus on his arms, just let herself be hugged. "I'm just saying, Cal...I don't want you to think that being low maintenance is a good thing if it's just...just a way to make yourself easy for everybody else, too. Like you have to make yourself less, too, for somebody else's benefit."

"It's more about safety. Being able to get up and run at a moment's notice. Not leaving things behind that might alert the Empire to my presence and get innocent people hurt," Cal explained. "But... maybe I don't have to worry about that here. I have to get used to the idea that I might not be going anywhere for a while. You'll have to be patient with me though, I haven't been able to relax like that in... more time than I should probably say out loud."

"I can already guess," Arden said, snuggling a little closer and no, she didn't see why people assumed they were a thing. Touch-starved knew touch-starved, okay? "But hey, remember way back when? We agreed I was supposed to teach you about Earth things. Which means it's my job to tell you stuff, because you are a poor, innocent space-lamb who doesn't know how things work." She chuckled. "Every time you argue with me, you're denying my special Earth knowledge. And that's not allowed, Calcifer Lambden Kestis. You have to at least try what I'm saying before disagreeing with me. Fair?"

"I have never in my life been called an innocent space-lamb, nor had so many middle names. This must also be an Earth thing," Cal said with a laugh. He was so glad he hadn't messed things up again, but he said stupid things so often that he didn't blame Arden for only wanting to be friends with him. "I'll try to argue with you less about things you probably understand better."

"Middle names are very important," Arden declared. "Trust me, sometimes you've just gotta bust out the whole name to let someone know you mean business. Middle names emphasize that and give it a good name."

So he was getting ridiculous Cal-based first names so he'd know she wasn't actually trying to rename him and a good yelling middle name.

"Do I get to know your middle name, or do I get to make ones up for you too?" Cal teased. "Arden Daisy Finch. Arden "Earthy" Finch. I... don't know as many girl names as I thought."

"I don't have one," Arden said, shaking her head. "My mom told the EMTs that rescued us that my name was Arden and Callista had me choose a new last name to replace Smith when she became my legal guardian, but a middle name was never part of it." She grinned. "It's not gonna be Earthy, though, I can tell you that."

"So this means you get to make one up," Cal said, his face lighting up. The mention of her mother, of EMTs, and the woman who was quickly growing to be his least favorite person, made humor seem like the best way to proceed. "Maybe I can help you try some out. Out of kindness, of course."

"So kind," Arden told him, patting her hand over her heart. "I know this is where that offer comes from. The kindness of your heart. You're a champ, Calciarry Rocketfuel Kestis."

"And you're a delight, Arden Strawberry Finch."

And with that, Arden is content to continue leaning against Cal, head resting on his shoulder (in a friendly fashion, of course!), and listen to the rest of the tour.

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Earth Tourism, Tuesday 5th period

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