Navaan (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
doesdoctorstuff) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2024-05-17 12:49 am
doesdoctorstuff) wrote in fandomhigh2024-05-17 12:49 am
Entry tags:
Doctoring 101, Friday, Period 1
Please don't ask why Navaan had actually bothered to show up for class today. She likely couldn't tell you. Hell, it was likely she didn't know how she'd gotten to class today. Honestly, the real question you should be asking yourself was why the school had once again decided to let her do this. Letters of complaint should be addressed to Principal Zoe Winchester, Dean Anakin Skywalker, or perhaps the U.S. Secretary of Education, whomever seemed most fitting for the level of egregiousness of the class in any given week.
For now, though, Navaan was half-splayed out on the desk, the blinds in the windows pulled both for her own safety. Not because the vampire thing where she exploded when exposed to sunlight - she'd learned that the windows had been treated by now - but because her head was probably going to explode when exposed to any light at all. Once all the students (probably) had filed in, she lifted her head a few inches off her desk and mumbled, "I'm Navaan and I'm a doctor and this is Doctoring 101. Unless it isn't. Umm, it's Friday, right? It's probably Friday. Though I might have slept through Friday, making this Saturday. If it's Saturday, then I don't know what class this is, but since I missed my Friday class, I'm going to call this Doctoring 101 and if your other teacher doesn't like it, we can jelly-golem wrestle for it." Beat. "Are there classes on Saturdays? Ennnnhhhh, I don't care."
And if that didn't tell you all you needed to know about your teacher and the kind of class this would be, there was no hope for you anyway.
"So, I'm a doctor and I'm going to teach you all about doing doctor stuff. Yeah, I know, you look at me and think, 'How can I get to live such an awesome and glamorous life as a doctor?'--" That was probably not what they were thinking when they looked at you right now, Navaan "--and the answer is you probably can't. It takes hard work to become a doctor and you certainly won't be one after just this class. You'd need to take, like, another two classes to be a real doctor and then we'd probably become rivals and go after one another's patients, and maybe I'd have to burn out whatever hospital you joined and it would just get ugly. Nothing worse than an infestation of doctors you know. It gets dangerous." She managed to pick her head up a little further and gave the students a very fangy grin. "But for Doctoring 101, I'm just gonna show you the basics, so you can realize how much fun it is to be a doctor and then, I dunno. Maybe become a doctor somewhere else, off the island, where you can get your own juicebags. The nurses at the clinic are stingy and I don't like sharing."
Seriously, you were going to have six more weeks of this, maybe five with a week off for mortal peril. Good luck with this, folks.
"So, doctoring is a really important job and has lots of responsibilities. Doing doctor stuff is not of the faint of heart--you go on adventures, solve mysteries, get laid, maybe sometimes diagnose jerks with syphilis...it just goes on and on and on. So, today, I'm gonna introduce you to a doctor's most important possession. The doctor bag. I lost mine the other week fighting a buncha leftover bitchy sorceresses. But that's okay, we're building them together." Navaan pushed herself upright with a deep groan, pulling out a big box that bulged oddly and appeared to be moving in places. "You never know what to expect when you're doing your doctoring rounds, so you need to pack a little bit of everything."
She put the box back down on her desk and began to unpack it. "Let's see, we've got here...jar full of leeches--seriously, most important tool right here, but that'll be our next class--some scissors, a couple of knives, a bottle of poison, another bottle of poison, an unmarked bottle...Huh. I wonder what this is." Unscrewing the cap, Navaan took a sip and began coughing. "Oh! Chloroform! So useful, I can't even tell you," she said between coughing fits. "Wow. This is pretty potent stuff. That's how I caught the Sl-uhh, the Slattern." Aww yeah, keeping it PG for the comm.
Navaan continued to unpack items, including several knives, some surgical tubing, a 'personal massager,' a grappling hook, nunchucks, a paddle, fishing hooks, a cardboard sword, rags, several small egg-looking objects that sparkled, rope, handcuffs (the fuzzy kind!), several acorns, and a bottle with the name 'Felicia' on it. "So, these are what I consider the bare essentials of doctoring," she said, beaming proudly at the classroom. "I usually have more, but it's your first day and I didn't want you to be overwhelmed. Since you're all learning to become doctors, today is your chance to think about what you want to put into your new doctor bags!" From behind the desk, she pulled out another cardboard box full of various kinds ofmoddable bags--large purses, backpacks, duffel bags, and even a gigantic fanny pack. Most of them were fairly beaten up because she'd scavenged them, but they were in decent enough condition. "For the rest of the class, make sure you have your doctor bags on you. I mean, you should probably carry them with you all the time because you never know when your doctoring skills may be needed, but whatever. I can't make you. Anyway, come up here and get your bags, people! It's doctorin' time!"
Wait, why had she been so enthusiastic there at the end? Those exclamation points hurt.
For now, though, Navaan was half-splayed out on the desk, the blinds in the windows pulled both for her own safety. Not because the vampire thing where she exploded when exposed to sunlight - she'd learned that the windows had been treated by now - but because her head was probably going to explode when exposed to any light at all. Once all the students (probably) had filed in, she lifted her head a few inches off her desk and mumbled, "I'm Navaan and I'm a doctor and this is Doctoring 101. Unless it isn't. Umm, it's Friday, right? It's probably Friday. Though I might have slept through Friday, making this Saturday. If it's Saturday, then I don't know what class this is, but since I missed my Friday class, I'm going to call this Doctoring 101 and if your other teacher doesn't like it, we can jelly-golem wrestle for it." Beat. "Are there classes on Saturdays? Ennnnhhhh, I don't care."
And if that didn't tell you all you needed to know about your teacher and the kind of class this would be, there was no hope for you anyway.
"So, I'm a doctor and I'm going to teach you all about doing doctor stuff. Yeah, I know, you look at me and think, 'How can I get to live such an awesome and glamorous life as a doctor?'--" That was probably not what they were thinking when they looked at you right now, Navaan "--and the answer is you probably can't. It takes hard work to become a doctor and you certainly won't be one after just this class. You'd need to take, like, another two classes to be a real doctor and then we'd probably become rivals and go after one another's patients, and maybe I'd have to burn out whatever hospital you joined and it would just get ugly. Nothing worse than an infestation of doctors you know. It gets dangerous." She managed to pick her head up a little further and gave the students a very fangy grin. "But for Doctoring 101, I'm just gonna show you the basics, so you can realize how much fun it is to be a doctor and then, I dunno. Maybe become a doctor somewhere else, off the island, where you can get your own juicebags. The nurses at the clinic are stingy and I don't like sharing."
Seriously, you were going to have six more weeks of this, maybe five with a week off for mortal peril. Good luck with this, folks.
"So, doctoring is a really important job and has lots of responsibilities. Doing doctor stuff is not of the faint of heart--you go on adventures, solve mysteries, get laid, maybe sometimes diagnose jerks with syphilis...it just goes on and on and on. So, today, I'm gonna introduce you to a doctor's most important possession. The doctor bag. I lost mine the other week fighting a buncha leftover bitchy sorceresses. But that's okay, we're building them together." Navaan pushed herself upright with a deep groan, pulling out a big box that bulged oddly and appeared to be moving in places. "You never know what to expect when you're doing your doctoring rounds, so you need to pack a little bit of everything."
She put the box back down on her desk and began to unpack it. "Let's see, we've got here...jar full of leeches--seriously, most important tool right here, but that'll be our next class--some scissors, a couple of knives, a bottle of poison, another bottle of poison, an unmarked bottle...Huh. I wonder what this is." Unscrewing the cap, Navaan took a sip and began coughing. "Oh! Chloroform! So useful, I can't even tell you," she said between coughing fits. "Wow. This is pretty potent stuff. That's how I caught the Sl-uhh, the Slattern." Aww yeah, keeping it PG for the comm.
Navaan continued to unpack items, including several knives, some surgical tubing, a 'personal massager,' a grappling hook, nunchucks, a paddle, fishing hooks, a cardboard sword, rags, several small egg-looking objects that sparkled, rope, handcuffs (the fuzzy kind!), several acorns, and a bottle with the name 'Felicia' on it. "So, these are what I consider the bare essentials of doctoring," she said, beaming proudly at the classroom. "I usually have more, but it's your first day and I didn't want you to be overwhelmed. Since you're all learning to become doctors, today is your chance to think about what you want to put into your new doctor bags!" From behind the desk, she pulled out another cardboard box full of various kinds of
Wait, why had she been so enthusiastic there at the end? Those exclamation points hurt.
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