Navaan (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
doesdoctorstuff) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2024-01-15 01:42 pm
doesdoctorstuff) wrote in fandomhigh2024-01-15 01:42 pm
Entry tags:
Creative Writing--So Simple Even You Can Do It! (Probably), Monday, Period 4
Navaan was on time today, mostly because it was cold and snowing out and the school was warm. Also, protected from the sunlight! Protection from sunlight was very good if you didn't want to explode and much harder to ensure when your clothes were wet and snowy.
It sure would be a nice time of year to have A PLACE TO LIVE, ARTHUR. But since she didn't, the students were all going to pay for it by have a class that started on time.
"So, one of the first things you gotta learn about writing books and stuff is dialogue--that's when people talk to one another," she said to the class when probably most of them were there. She was hazy on how many students signed up in the first place but like...at least three, right? That sounded like a good number. "The first thing you gotta learn is words, but by now you should all know a bunch. If you don't...well, I guess you could come look me up? I know a shepherd who's really good at writing, he might be able to share some techniques. But if you're in this class already, I'm hoping you at least have words down."
'Hoping' was the key word. There was a reason that the Probably was included in the course title, after all.
"Dialogue is important. Without it, all you have is a book where people just stare at each other and grunt and no one wants to read that. Which means no one should write it, either. Well, maybe some snooty writer might wanna do that and call it 'literature,' but those types only get invites to boring parties with wine instead of real booze and cheese instead of meat. There's barely any sex! ...Probably. All I'm saying is that you don't wanna be one of those writers because they try to tell you that writing shouldn't be about crass commercialism right before they try to borrow $20. Write fun stuff, make money, use dialogue. But before you can write about it, you have to know about it. So here are me three important tips about writing dialogue. The first one is: know your character. Characters should should all be different and that should be reflected in the way they talk. Like, one of my characters is a super-smart egghead-type with a butt fetish. In one scene, he says the line, 'I like callipygian inamoratas and I cannot prevaricate.' He uses big, fancy words cause he's all smart. But my other characters wouldn't say that, or wouldn't say it like that. Knowing your characters means that you have a handle on what they're gonna talk about and how and it keeps all your characters from sounding the same."
She frowned. "Hmm. Maybe we should have started with characters first. Ah well, that'll be for next time."
Shrugging, she continued with the lecture. "Now dialogue is all the bits that go inside quotation marks and that's the stuff that moves the story. But what happens outside of the quotation marks are called speech tags. Speech tags tell you how your character says stuff. Now, the basic words are 'said', 'asked', and sometimes 'told'. For some reason, all the books love said, asked, and told. It's like no one ever told these guys that other, funner words exist! And that's not all! Your second lesson of the day is: Don't be boring! Go whole hog! Use all the words for said you can possibly think of! Man, they're great. Using my example above, which sounds cooler? 'I like callipygian inamoratas and I cannot prevaricate,' Professor Angus said, or 'I like callipygian inamoratas and I cannot prevaricate!" Professor Angus ejaculated. Did you know that 'ejaculated' can mean 'yelled'? Isn't that crazy? I like using that word in my smutty scenes. It's like a game--which definition am I using this time?"
Navaan had to pause the lecture to giggle uncontrollably for several seconds. As she did every time she used that word.
"Anyway," she said, wiping tears from her eyes. "You're supposed to use the boring words all the time because they're boring--so boring your readers eyes will slide right over them and they won't pay any attention. But you don't want that! You want them paying attention to every single word you write, because it's awesome! Boring words are for boring writers and since I don't see any of you in tweed jackets and leather patches, don't be boring! And that leads to lesson three: you don't always have to use 'em. If it's obvious who is talking, you can get rid of speech tags all together. Add it in, liiiiike, every fifth or six bit of dialogue. Or use an action instead of speech tags. 'I like callipygian inamoratas and I cannot prevaricate.' Professor Angus stared lustfully at the lithe, round buttocks on display before him. See? We don't need to be told he said it! We know already! The important thing is that he's looking at butts!"
That's right, kids. The important thing here was looking at butts.
[Link in text goes to NSFW comic! Please don't read where it will get you in trouble!]
It sure would be a nice time of year to have A PLACE TO LIVE, ARTHUR. But since she didn't, the students were all going to pay for it by have a class that started on time.
"So, one of the first things you gotta learn about writing books and stuff is dialogue--that's when people talk to one another," she said to the class when probably most of them were there. She was hazy on how many students signed up in the first place but like...at least three, right? That sounded like a good number. "The first thing you gotta learn is words, but by now you should all know a bunch. If you don't...well, I guess you could come look me up? I know a shepherd who's really good at writing, he might be able to share some techniques. But if you're in this class already, I'm hoping you at least have words down."
'Hoping' was the key word. There was a reason that the Probably was included in the course title, after all.
"Dialogue is important. Without it, all you have is a book where people just stare at each other and grunt and no one wants to read that. Which means no one should write it, either. Well, maybe some snooty writer might wanna do that and call it 'literature,' but those types only get invites to boring parties with wine instead of real booze and cheese instead of meat. There's barely any sex! ...Probably. All I'm saying is that you don't wanna be one of those writers because they try to tell you that writing shouldn't be about crass commercialism right before they try to borrow $20. Write fun stuff, make money, use dialogue. But before you can write about it, you have to know about it. So here are me three important tips about writing dialogue. The first one is: know your character. Characters should should all be different and that should be reflected in the way they talk. Like, one of my characters is a super-smart egghead-type with a butt fetish. In one scene, he says the line, 'I like callipygian inamoratas and I cannot prevaricate.' He uses big, fancy words cause he's all smart. But my other characters wouldn't say that, or wouldn't say it like that. Knowing your characters means that you have a handle on what they're gonna talk about and how and it keeps all your characters from sounding the same."
She frowned. "Hmm. Maybe we should have started with characters first. Ah well, that'll be for next time."
Shrugging, she continued with the lecture. "Now dialogue is all the bits that go inside quotation marks and that's the stuff that moves the story. But what happens outside of the quotation marks are called speech tags. Speech tags tell you how your character says stuff. Now, the basic words are 'said', 'asked', and sometimes 'told'. For some reason, all the books love said, asked, and told. It's like no one ever told these guys that other, funner words exist! And that's not all! Your second lesson of the day is: Don't be boring! Go whole hog! Use all the words for said you can possibly think of! Man, they're great. Using my example above, which sounds cooler? 'I like callipygian inamoratas and I cannot prevaricate,' Professor Angus said, or 'I like callipygian inamoratas and I cannot prevaricate!" Professor Angus ejaculated. Did you know that 'ejaculated' can mean 'yelled'? Isn't that crazy? I like using that word in my smutty scenes. It's like a game--which definition am I using this time?"
Navaan had to pause the lecture to giggle uncontrollably for several seconds. As she did every time she used that word.
"Anyway," she said, wiping tears from her eyes. "You're supposed to use the boring words all the time because they're boring--so boring your readers eyes will slide right over them and they won't pay any attention. But you don't want that! You want them paying attention to every single word you write, because it's awesome! Boring words are for boring writers and since I don't see any of you in tweed jackets and leather patches, don't be boring! And that leads to lesson three: you don't always have to use 'em. If it's obvious who is talking, you can get rid of speech tags all together. Add it in, liiiiike, every fifth or six bit of dialogue. Or use an action instead of speech tags. 'I like callipygian inamoratas and I cannot prevaricate.' Professor Angus stared lustfully at the lithe, round buttocks on display before him. See? We don't need to be told he said it! We know already! The important thing is that he's looking at butts!"
That's right, kids. The important thing here was looking at butts.
[Link in text goes to NSFW comic! Please don't read where it will get you in trouble!]