fandomhigh | Learn to have fun! Monday, 3rd period

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Learn to have fun! Monday, 3rd period

When everybody got there, they'd find Jon fidgeting at the front of the classroom.

"Right, um." He straightened up. "The moose has declared that I should teach you how to have fun. So that's what we'll be learning." Because lord knew, Jon wasn't exactly an expert at it.

"But the first class is usually for introductions, and I feel that with this course especially, it would be a good idea. Even though I know most of you, what I'd like to do is go around, and you can all tell us your name for those that don't know it, and something you find fun, and something you think might be fun that you haven't tried before. Then we'll have an idea where we're starting from."

He nodded. "So, to start, I am Jonathan Sims. I find petting cats fun. I think I might like to try visiting an aquarium. It seems like it would be soothing. Right, now it's your turn."

He nodded at the first student.

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"Er...yes...well, I-I think it's safe to say we won't be doing any of that in this class," Jon said a bit desperately. "I don't suppose you have any more...um...child-friendly sorts of interests."

"Drugs! Drinking?" Drinking was acceptable for kids, right? "Violence! Creating fake death versions of myself and playing dress up!"

"I-I'm admittedly not sure what that last one is, but it seems the most likely. Perhaps shopping or dressing up would work."

He hoped.

"I can bring in plenty of fake deaths to share with the class!"

This could, in no way, go poorly for you, Jon. Honest.

"I'm not sure I know what a fake death is," Jon said slowly.

After knowing what flang was, he was actively trying not to think too hard about anything else Navaan said.

"It's a joke magic item!" Navaan said, reaching into her doctor bag to find one. She pulled out a pair of handcuffs, a bottle labeled Morphine (4 Good Patients ONLY), three acorns, a thong, and a jar of leeches swimming in some murky water before pulling out a box which, when opened, showed a small, egg-shaped capsule. "Purchased legitimately from one of the fine fake-your-death-establishments nearby!"

"Right. Okay. Erm...maybe if you could explain how it would help."

He was going to regret asking, wasn't he? This was how Jon got into so much trouble, you would think he would learn.

Rather than explaining, Navaan simply crushed the egg against her forehead. Immediately, a grinning version of herself popped out from behind her and fell over.

The version was, of course, stark naked.

"Okay, I get it!" Jon frantically pulled off his jacket to drape it over the fake. "Um. Okay, yes. That, um. That makes sense." Unfortunately. "Um. Thank you for explaining. I-I don't suppose it, well, um. It goes away."

"Nope!" Navaan said. "They wouldn't be much good as dead fakes if they vanished!"

So now you had a naked corpse on your hands, Jon. You're welcome.

Jon stared down at it. "I wonder if there's anything you generally do to get rid of them."

Was he going to have to call in Fosse to take it to the incinerator? Maybe he could give it to Liliana?

Liliana would just look at him and ask what she was supposed to do with. It wasn't a real corpse, Jon, just a convincing fake.

"Oh, I normally keep them and play dressup!" Navaan said. "Back when I had my own room, they lived there!"

"Right. You, um. You said." That was where this had started. "I think perhaps we'll go with mannequins or something instead." Which at least didn't have anatomically exact bodies. There were still minors in this group.

"You can take that one back home, then, I suppose. And, um. You can keep the jacket and bring it back later."

"I can't," Navaan said. "I don't have a room anymore."

She'd been sneaking into Arthur's house and falling asleep in out of the way places.

"My roommate won't let me have one so I sleep in closets and one time the bathtub."

"I...er. That...doesn't sound pleasant," Jon said, frowning. "I think he should let you sleep in a bed. Or at least the couch."

This could not at all come back and bite ~~him~~ Arthur in the ass.

No, Navaan.

Yes, Navaan!

"Hmm...maybe he just needs to get used to me..." Navaan pondered. "Hey, you gonna use that?" She pointed to the fake Navaan.

"No. No, definitely not," Jon said firmly. "Just, um. Bring back the jacket, but not until the, um...the death...is in private. Please."

"Heh heh, okay," Navaan laughed. "Heh heh heh, I'm a genius."

It was an unsettling laugh. But at least she was gathering up the stiff form of the fake death.

"I'm gonna go now!" she declared, even though class wasn't over.

Edited 2024-01-09 21:04 (UTC)

"Right. Yes. Um...Yes, I think that would be best."

Look, it was just introductions this week, she'd done that part, Jon just wanted the naked death out of his classroom.

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Learn to have fun! Monday, 3rd period

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