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Philosophies of Good and Evil, Tuesday

"So," Atton said. He looked grumpy. Grumpier than usual, in fact. "The school board thinks we’re not teaching you enough quote-unquote ‘applicable real-life skills’. So the moose sent us a print-out of something straight off of Buzzfeed that we’re supposed to teach you today. So."

He held up the piece of paper menacingly.

"This is the one class we won’t dock points if you try to snark your way out."

"Or if you try to pick an option not presented," Lana said. "Because honestly, whoever wrote these had very little imagination. Though they're still useful as a thought exercise, I suppose."

"Honestly, I have questions about whoever wrote these," Atton said. "All right, here we go."

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Like you're cranky at a moose.

Do stuff while they talk.

Atton sounded deeply bored as he read this one. "You are at your best friend's wedding just an hour before the ceremony is to start. Earlier that day, you came across definitive proof that your best friend's spouse-to-be is having an affair with someone in the wedding party, and you catch them sneaking out of a room together. If you tell your friend about the affair, their day will be ruined, but you don't want them to marry a cheater. What do you do?"

Beat.

"The options are 'say nothing' or 'ruin their day'. Wow. What a brain-breaker."

"Here's one for all the utilitarians," Atton said. "'You are an eyewitness to a crime: A man has robbed a bank, but instead of keeping the money for himself, he donates it to a poor orphanage that can now afford to feed, clothe, and care for its children. Do you tell the authorities, or let them keep it?'"

He lowered the paper and rolled his eyes. "I think a Jedi wrote these," he said. "'Turn them in' or 'keep quiet' are the two options here, per this rag, who apparently stole it from another rag."

"'You're involved in a two-car crash on your way to work one morning in which you accidentally hit and kill a pedestrian…' oh wow, this one goes hard," Atton said, squinting. "I'm almost impressed. Uh. 'A tearful woman runs up to you, saying that she's the one who hit the pedestrian. When the authorities arrive, do you let her take the fall or not?'"

The expression on his face was definitely something to behold.

"And this one does a lot of unnecessary scene-setting, but it basically boils down to 'would you save your child rather than your niece if both of them were drowning but your own child had slightly better swimming skills'? Sit with that one."

You've got moral dilemmas, and then you've got moral dilemmas.

I gotta say, I did not expect to find what I found when I googled for inspiration last week.

Atton flopped down in his seat behind the desk at some point or another, and eyed the ceiling.

In annoyance, this time.

Anakin Skywalker

"Ruin the day," Anakin said. "Forgoing a cake deposit against being stuck with a cheating liar for the foreseeable future?"

Lana's option for most of these boiled down to "use the Force", so she'd be very little help.

Stark

"Depends on how much you care about cake," Atton noted.

"Not that much," Anakin admitted.

Gray

"You can still eat the cake after the wedding's cancelled," Gray pointed out helpfully.

"Uh, ruin their day, obviously," Gray said. "But maybe it won't ruin their day! Maybe they're poly and they just haven't told you for some reason." Always look on the bright side!

"Like a week ago we looted a Walmart for great justice and now I'm supposed to be mad someone robbed a financial institution to give to the poor?" Gray wondered aloud.

"I'm not allowed to drive a car for exactly this reason, but obviously I wouldn't let some innocent woman take the fall for a crime I committed," Gray said. "But I would need to find out why she's saying she did it real quick."

"This one is extremely unlikely for me for at least three different reasons," Gray complained, "but, fine, I pick my hypothetical daughter."

He did not bother to mention that one of the reasons this scenario was unlikely was that Nephilim couldn't drown. Oh, being stuck in water for an extended period of time was highly unpleasant (ask him how he knew), but his hypothetical niece would be just fine.

"Telling them will hurt now," Stark said. "Not telling them will cause more hurt, later. For longer. It's better to tell them. Even if they might not forgive you."

"True," Atton said thoughtfully. "Hell, you could even still throw the party."

"Apparently this is a very serious moral dilemma people have," Atton said.

He did not sound like he found it very serious.

"According to this Buzzfeed print-out from a moose."

Edited 2023-11-08 07:23 (UTC)

"Asking the real questions," Atton said approvingly. "Why would she say that?"

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Philosophies of Good and Evil, Tuesday

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