Sam Eagle (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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fandomhigh2023-10-12 08:01 am
but_mostly_america) wrote in fandomhigh2023-10-12 08:01 am
Sam Eagle Presents: The Weird States of America, Thursday 10/12
As was usual and not at all weird, Sam was at the front of the classroom and ready to begin at the appointed time.
“Hello again, students!” he barked out. Which was, in itself, a bit weird seeing as how he was a bird and not a dog. Don’t dwell on it.
“Today in weird states we shall discuss the state of Michigan! The 26th state admitted to the union. Sometimes called the Great Lake State and sometimes referred to as the Mitten State which is far too undignified to be acceptable!”
“Now, in addition to being named after cold weather gear for children, Michigan is weird in other ways. The main way being that the state is divided in two. An upper peninsula and a lower peninsula, separated by water!”
Was anyone going to tell Sam that Hawaii was several islands? Or that other states also included islands? Someone ought to point that out just to see how he reacted.
“A decent state ought to be contained to one major land mass!”
Sam, no.
“And finally for weird things about Michigan, we cannot forget that to encourage tourism they use the phrase ‘Pure Michigan.’ As if the other states were impure or as if there were also a version of Michigan that is impure! Perhaps there is. Perhaps one peninsula is the impure one.” Sam looked thoughtful, his very impressive eyebrows moving together somehow. “This may require further research!” Or…any research at all? Maybe.
“Now, students, let us discuss Michigan!”
“Hello again, students!” he barked out. Which was, in itself, a bit weird seeing as how he was a bird and not a dog. Don’t dwell on it.
“Today in weird states we shall discuss the state of Michigan! The 26th state admitted to the union. Sometimes called the Great Lake State and sometimes referred to as the Mitten State which is far too undignified to be acceptable!”
“Now, in addition to being named after cold weather gear for children, Michigan is weird in other ways. The main way being that the state is divided in two. An upper peninsula and a lower peninsula, separated by water!”
Was anyone going to tell Sam that Hawaii was several islands? Or that other states also included islands? Someone ought to point that out just to see how he reacted.
“A decent state ought to be contained to one major land mass!”
Sam, no.
“And finally for weird things about Michigan, we cannot forget that to encourage tourism they use the phrase ‘Pure Michigan.’ As if the other states were impure or as if there were also a version of Michigan that is impure! Perhaps there is. Perhaps one peninsula is the impure one.” Sam looked thoughtful, his very impressive eyebrows moving together somehow. “This may require further research!” Or…any research at all? Maybe.
“Now, students, let us discuss Michigan!”
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