fandomhigh | 20th Century Food Crimes, Cont. - Friday 7/28

"Between my love for a theme and the general ephemeral nature of time and its passage," said Summer, which was a hell of a way to start a class about gross food, "we almost got out of July without being able to do this, but the timing has smiled in my favor and before we move onto August," HOW??, "we've got just enough July left to do ourselves a nice little Christmas in July! Because there are some holiday themed recipes that are just too good to just pass up merely because it's not December.”

“I’ve never had a second one Christmas before,” Stark said. “But I like the idea.” Although now he was wondering if he ought to have purchased gifts. Or made cookies.

"Because I haven't gotten to the recipes yet. Such as our Frosty the SLAW Man--introduce a new man into your life, indeed!"

"I don't think this is sort of man anyone in here needs in their life," Stark said. “I don’t need that sort of man in my life.” He didn’t think Summer did either but he wasn’t going to say that out loud.

"Or," Summer continued, relentless in her questionable holiday cheer, "we can make the classic fruitcake even worse by including tomato soup! Tomato is technically a fruit, after all!

"And surely," Summer, finally, reached her conclusion, "the thing you think of when you hear the words hot avocado pie is 'yule delight'! Because that's exactly what we've got in a 'poinsettia pie' recipe, as well."

“I thought those were poisonous plants,” Stark said suspiciously. “Aren’t they meant to be poisonous? We’re not really eating them, are we?” No, Stark and also they aren’t really toxic anyway.

"No, we're not," Summer assured him and everyone else. "No actual poinsettias were used in this recipe. So why is it called that? Who knows! But what I do know is that you can thank me now," Summer nodded decisively, "for all the rave reviews these are sure to get you come actual Christmastime."

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"Whaaaaaat?" asked Summer, feigning shock and offense. "How could you say that! It totally is! I even only made three jello shots! Just three!"

"That doesn't sound like you at all," Stark told her, grinning. "What else have you planned instead?"

"Just cake and other snacks and an assortment of drinks," Summer insisted. "Typical party stuff."

A pause, a shrug.

"Served by a bunch of hot dudes without shirts from another dimension."

LIKE YOU DO.

Stark paused.

"Oh. Really? Is it a dimension without any shirts at all?"

"No," Summer shook her head. "The dimension definitely has shirts, but they also have cat cafes staffed entirely by shirtless hunks that only serves pancakes."

A beat.

"The food," she felt compelled to clarify, "not my cat."

"Pancakes would probably appreciate an entire cafe that was dedicated to serving her every need," Stark said.

"Though I'm not sure the lack of shirts would impress her much."

"Don't say that too loudly," Summer snorted, "you might start giving her ideas. And the shirtlessness wouldn't be for her, anyway. My appreciation of it will definitely more than make up for her lack thereof."

"Am I overdressed?" Stark asked mildly.

Not at all jealously, of course. Not even a little. That would be too serious.

20th Century Food Crimes, Cont. - Friday 7/28 - Period 1

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