Stark (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
stykera) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2023-07-07 10:36 am
stykera) wrote in fandomhigh2023-07-07 10:36 am
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20th Century Food Crimes, Cont. - Friday 7/7. Period 1
"Hey, everyone," said Summer, smiling beatifically at all these beautiful idiots who just kept coming back for more and looking terribly pleased about it. It was, if anything, a good distraction from that itchy feeling of knowing your dead brother was going to show up anytime now since it was nearing the weekend and just not wanting to deal with it.
"Since you've all taken one of these classes before, if not even the one we did last session, then there's no point in wasting any time letting you know what you've gotten yourself into. We're just going to jump right in, because we're already a little late in celebrating the Fourth of July, mid-20th Century style! Because while a lot of these recipes do try, in misguided earnestness, to sometimes be influenced by the exotic flavors and dishes of other cultures, there's just something truly deeply rooted in Americana in a lot of the recipes we cover. So let's celebrate the Food Crimes way!"
“That sounds very ominous,” Stark said. “Celebrating the Food Crimes way.” Probably because it was meant to. “Nothing we’re making is going to explode is it? Or be set on fire?”
"I mean," said Summer, "I make no promises. Though you might want to set this first one on fire. Today, we're going to be making our very own Frankie Doodle Dandy. What is that, you may ask? It's your own delicious little patriotic friend to be served up with a little cheese flag and, ironically, an English muffin! Because if there's one thing I definitely love from my food is that it's smiling at me after I've viscerally split it open!"
“I prefer food that doesn’t interact at all,” Stark said mildly. “But at least it doesn’t have a real face that’s still smiling. And no actual viscera.”
"And," Summer continued with dedication, "to wash our good patriotic buddy right down, we actually have a nice refreshing Fourth of July cocktail that has so much going on, I don't even know where to start, but you can't go wrong with whiskey and champagne as your base, right? So we'll mix up a little July Kraker to really bring the fire in fireworks!"
“Is that like a kraken?” Stark asked. “Or worse?” He was guessing worse. “You probably can’t drink a kraken.” Please don’t take that as a challenge, Summer.
"And, finally," said Summer, a word that should come as a relief to everyone, "what's more American than apple pie? How about Congealed Apple Pie? That's right, folks, who else but good old American Summer Smith to bring you a terrible apple pie made of mostly jello and soda? Yum yum! Just look at it jiggle, like any good apple pie should!"
“It’s…very red. And jiggly.”
"It is," Summer agreed, "but is it a food crime, to be so red and jiggly? Let's find out!"
"Since you've all taken one of these classes before, if not even the one we did last session, then there's no point in wasting any time letting you know what you've gotten yourself into. We're just going to jump right in, because we're already a little late in celebrating the Fourth of July, mid-20th Century style! Because while a lot of these recipes do try, in misguided earnestness, to sometimes be influenced by the exotic flavors and dishes of other cultures, there's just something truly deeply rooted in Americana in a lot of the recipes we cover. So let's celebrate the Food Crimes way!"
“That sounds very ominous,” Stark said. “Celebrating the Food Crimes way.” Probably because it was meant to. “Nothing we’re making is going to explode is it? Or be set on fire?”
"I mean," said Summer, "I make no promises. Though you might want to set this first one on fire. Today, we're going to be making our very own Frankie Doodle Dandy. What is that, you may ask? It's your own delicious little patriotic friend to be served up with a little cheese flag and, ironically, an English muffin! Because if there's one thing I definitely love from my food is that it's smiling at me after I've viscerally split it open!"
“I prefer food that doesn’t interact at all,” Stark said mildly. “But at least it doesn’t have a real face that’s still smiling. And no actual viscera.”
"And," Summer continued with dedication, "to wash our good patriotic buddy right down, we actually have a nice refreshing Fourth of July cocktail that has so much going on, I don't even know where to start, but you can't go wrong with whiskey and champagne as your base, right? So we'll mix up a little July Kraker to really bring the fire in fireworks!"
“Is that like a kraken?” Stark asked. “Or worse?” He was guessing worse. “You probably can’t drink a kraken.” Please don’t take that as a challenge, Summer.
"And, finally," said Summer, a word that should come as a relief to everyone, "what's more American than apple pie? How about Congealed Apple Pie? That's right, folks, who else but good old American Summer Smith to bring you a terrible apple pie made of mostly jello and soda? Yum yum! Just look at it jiggle, like any good apple pie should!"
“It’s…very red. And jiggly.”
"It is," Summer agreed, "but is it a food crime, to be so red and jiggly? Let's find out!"
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