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but_mostly_america) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2023-05-15 02:34 pm
but_mostly_america) wrote in fandomhigh2023-05-15 02:34 pm
Sam Eagle Presents WeirDONT'S: How Not To Be A Weirdo, Monday, Period Five, 5/15
The flag hanging on the wall was at Sam’s back and he was standing at attention behind his podium as the students for his class filed in.
He produced a pocketwatch, glanced at its face, then cleared his throat as soon as it was time for the class to begin.
“Welcome back, students!”
Sam peered at everyone. "Today, my fine young students, we will be discussing clothing!"
Were any of you wearing anything weird today? Too bad!
"I am firm believer in uniforms. If everyone wears the same thing then none of you will stand out and none of you will look weird! However that does not seem to be an option on this absurd island so I suppose you will all continue making your own unfortunate sartorial choices. "
Sam was judging all of you right now. Yes, even you. Especially you, Beaker.
"To not be weird I recommend wearing subdued colors! Nothing too flashy. Certainly nothing unwholesome. For that matter, nothing full of holes! Particularly holes from science experiments gone wrong." Beaker.
"Your clothing should blend in with those around you! And it should always be appropriate for the occasion. Wearing a bathing costume at the beach is all well and good but it should never be worn in a formal setting."
Sam glared around the room.
"Clothing with jokes on it should never be worn. Not even if you are a comedian performing on The Muppet Show!"
"Sequins and glitter are weird in most instances! Spikes are unacceptable at all times. Clothing that is deliberately distressed is both weird and a waste of money!"
Sam shook his head and took a deep breath.
"Weird fashion choices that can be made are endless. However, there are stylists who can guide you to the correct choices and tailors and seamstresses to ensure your clothing fits. Naturally, over- and undersized clothing would fall into the weird category. For today, let us examine your outfits to determine whether or not you have dressed weirdly!"
Sam looked around the room, hoping for a volunteer to begin.
He produced a pocketwatch, glanced at its face, then cleared his throat as soon as it was time for the class to begin.
“Welcome back, students!”
Sam peered at everyone. "Today, my fine young students, we will be discussing clothing!"
Were any of you wearing anything weird today? Too bad!
"I am firm believer in uniforms. If everyone wears the same thing then none of you will stand out and none of you will look weird! However that does not seem to be an option on this absurd island so I suppose you will all continue making your own unfortunate sartorial choices. "
Sam was judging all of you right now. Yes, even you. Especially you, Beaker.
"To not be weird I recommend wearing subdued colors! Nothing too flashy. Certainly nothing unwholesome. For that matter, nothing full of holes! Particularly holes from science experiments gone wrong." Beaker.
"Your clothing should blend in with those around you! And it should always be appropriate for the occasion. Wearing a bathing costume at the beach is all well and good but it should never be worn in a formal setting."
Sam glared around the room.
"Clothing with jokes on it should never be worn. Not even if you are a comedian performing on The Muppet Show!"
"Sequins and glitter are weird in most instances! Spikes are unacceptable at all times. Clothing that is deliberately distressed is both weird and a waste of money!"
Sam shook his head and took a deep breath.
"Weird fashion choices that can be made are endless. However, there are stylists who can guide you to the correct choices and tailors and seamstresses to ensure your clothing fits. Naturally, over- and undersized clothing would fall into the weird category. For today, let us examine your outfits to determine whether or not you have dressed weirdly!"
Sam looked around the room, hoping for a volunteer to begin.
Re: Listen to the Lecture [5/15]