fandomhigh | Intro to Fandom, Monday 9/26, First Period

This week, the desk at the front of the classroom was absolutely littered with an assortment of cupcakes, cookies, and various modded baked goods, as well as coffee and cocoa, because it was the Monday after Parents Weekend, y'all, your teachers figured you might appreciate a little therapeutic indulgences. Not the same indulgences they’d utilized themselves over the weekend though. They were responsible adults!

Especially before they went into the topic for today's lesson.

"So, congraaaats," Summer started, "on making it through the weekend ~~she assumed~~. Parents can definitely be a very special kind of stressful or annoying situation, but let me ask you this: have you ever given thought to being a parent yourself?"

Stark was just going to look at an interesting spot on the far wall for a moment before speaking. “If you haven’t thought about it, you may want to. You may have to, eventually. Even if just for a weekend.” That wasn’t ominous, right?

But at least you wouldn't be held in ominous suspense for too long, and Summer grinned faintly. "Today," she said, finally wrapping up the preamble and getting to the real meat of the topic at hand, "we're going to talk about alternate universe kid weekend. With probably a side order of weetiny weekend, because it's somewhat tangentially in a broader theme about kids related."

“Sometimes there are children everywhere,” Stark said, nodding. “They just happen.” He paused. “Not the usual way. They’re just here one morning and they stay and then they leave a few days later. Unless they’re not meant to be children usually and then they just turn back to their usual selves. I’ve had surprise children appear. I’ve never been a child as a surprise.”

"And I've had both happen," Summer said with a nod. "Honestly, the one where you turn back into a child is the less complicated of the two, if you ask me, because that's just you, but a different version, a younger self. More than likely, you've been there, done that before, although it can be a little awkward, depending on what you were like as a child. On the other hand, the other one….that's way different. That's a whole 'nother person just showing up, claiming you're their parent, often with the other parent being someone incomprehensible or unlikely. At least, that's how it is for me. I've had, like, a half-dozen of these random children in my time here, and only one has made any sense whatsoever."

“I’ve had three,” Stark said. “Only three for all the time I’ve been here. All impossible. For various reasons. I like when they're here but not everyone does. So, now you've been warned that these things might happen. Might happen to you but they will almost certainly happen to someone you know here. So we thought you ought to be prepared. Prepared for surprise children but not for being children because you won't remember then that you ought to be older than you are. Or that you're younger than you ought to be? I'm not sure which way makes more sense but they both mean the same thing."

"None of it makes sense," Summer concluded. "But that's just Fandom for you. And that's why we're here."

And didn't that just make you feel so much better, kids?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Maybe I shouldn't use my phone if we...if I...do that again."

He hadn't realized any odd texts had been sent yet.

"The pizza was good." Had there been pizza cupcake recipes found too?

They already did the pizza cupcakes! That was probably what brought them to tomorrow's cupcakes from the topic of pizza.

"Locking away phones is not exactly a terrible idea in these instances," Summer allowed, "but it is way less fun. And that pizza really did hit the spot, didn't it?"

It could have been the most mediocre pizza in world and she'd still feel that way, because her shit? Was good shit, y'all.

Also, again, pizza was safe, so she was just going to lean very heavily into it if they were playing 'let's remember what we talked about while we were super high and a little drunk.'

That didn't mean they hadn't uncovered worse (or better) pizza cupcakes in a weed-fueled search.

"The pizza was good," Stark said, nodding. "Maybe there should have been something sweet too. Besides the jello." If this sort of thing were ever to be repeated.

"Chiana liked it too. All of it." Which had probably been obvious. "She might try to come visit you next."

"I'd be down with that," said Summer, immediately lighting up at the prospect, because she liked Chiana. A lot. She kind of wanted to keep Chiana in her pocket, to pull out whenever she was in the mood for a whacky shenanigan and/or making Stark sweat a little bit. "She is welcome to come crash on my couch any time. And clearly, next time, you'll have to make cupcakes or something for us. Oooh! Or we can kill two birds with one stone and I can teach you how to make pot brownies.

"Obviously," she added a second later, "you can make any sort of dank baked goods, but brownies are just, like, you know...iconic."

"I'll tell Chiana you said that."

Chiana would be thrilled to hear it. Thrilled. It would be a great opportunity to spend some time talking about Stark when he wasn't sitting right there. Or other guys. Or girls. Or maybe doing some light crimes.

"Dank?" he repeated. "And you can put it in food?" He had so much to learn, Summer. So much.

Or spaceships! Chiana might appreciate that Summer could include at least one spaceship in that kind of discussion. And it felt like forever since she'd last done some light crime!

"Dank," she confirmed with a nod. "Top-notch marijuana. And, yes. You can absolutely out it in food, but that, my friend, is a very dangerous game, because, as you found out yesterday, you will get hungry, and you will continue to consume."

Look at the two of them, talking about drugs during their class about taking care of children. What a great pair of role models they made!

Chiana would be fascinated by the spaceship story and was nearly always up for a little light crime.

"Oh. We could... try that? If you wanted. Sometime. We don't have to." But he was open to the possibility. Sometimes he needed to just not care so much about everything.

And hey, they weren't offering drugs to any children so they were being great role models still. Hopefully those Droid babies didn't record conversations though.

Sometimes he needed to just not care so much about everything? Sometimes??

"Of course we don't have to," Summer agreed with a roll of her eyes. "But if there's ever a time I turn down the chance at pot brownies, get the magnets, I've probably been replaced by a robot again, or actually, something worse, because Rick would definitely know to program that in."

Sometimes he was fine! Or too busy to worry!

"If you show me how then. We could do that sometime. If you like."

And then maybe move on to pot cupcakes or cookies!

With that if you like, Summer was going to just look at Stark for a moment, before stating, very clearly, "Ew, gross, no. That sounds terrible, like, worst thing ever."

A very brief flicker of something crossed Stark's face before he realized she was teasing and relaxed.

"I'll have to experiment on my own then." He would do no such thing. He trusted Summer. He wasn't entirely sure he trusted himself all the time.

"Okay," said Summer, with a faint smirk of her own because you almost had her worried for a second there, Stark, "but only if I'm there to record it."

Thus negating the on his own part, but, shh. Details.

This was how Stark was finally going to end up on social media, wasn't it?

"You can supervise," he agreed. "While I'm on my own."

Intro to Fandom, Monday 9/26, First Period

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