fandomhigh | Coping with the Non-Modern World, Monday Period 5

From the way Yennefer swanned through a portal and into her classroom on Monday afternoon, one would never guess that five minutes previously she'd been in her apartment screeching, "I submitted what while I was drunk?" into her cell phone.

She went right into it: "In May, I popped over to my home universe for a quick research visit concerning an ongoing problem of mine, and found myself stuck there for a couple of years while Portalocity either never returned my calls or neglected to take me off hold. I have "Feliz Navidad" as played on the saxophone burned into my brain." Zero stars, could not recommend. "I spent quite a lot of time trying to invent interdimensional portals and thinking about how much I missed certain things about this world, including but not limited to: flushing toilets, air conditioning, the cocktail, and Thai food. And then I came back and found that merely two months had passed here, and here we are, in this workshop. Since you are here I imagine you find it likely you will one day face an at least somewhat similar scenario, and want to know how to prepare.

"My first piece of advice is to learn magic, at least a little, if you are capable and your home universe will support it. A bit of magic makes everything much easier. If magic is not an option, you are going to have to rely upon technology, which is trickier. For example, let's say that all you want is a simple gin and tonic. Well, first you've got to invent gin...and then you've got to invent tonic. And that's easy compared to something like the flush toilet, where now you're talking about infrastructure.

"On the other hand, as the inventor of gin, tonic water, and basic sanitation, you stand to make quite a lot of money, which should make your life substantially easier, and may even help to offset matters if the thing you're really missing is, say, democracy, or people who look or act like you not being an underclass. On the other other hand, all the money or magic in the world isn't going to help you when the only thing you want is one single, solitary piece of chocolate, and the plant it's made from doesn't even have the decency to exist in your world."

It was fine. Yennefer was fine.

"So. As it is our first week together, if everyone could please introduce themselves, and list a few things this world has that their world does not which they would much rather not have to live without now that they have it? If you are from this world or something like it, and are taking this workshop as a thought exercise, or because you don't trust the island or Portalocity (wise choice), just list a few things you wouldn't like to be without that weren't available, say, a few hundred years ago. How does that sound?"

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Like you never thought about life without chocolate before.

Shunsui Kyōraku ♥

Belle

Your teacher seems...perhaps mildly traumatized.

So what's it gonna be? Chocolate? Memory foam? Human rights?

"Shunsui Kyōraku ♥," Shunsui offered, with a faint, crooked smile, an elaborate sweep of his hand, and a slight bow, complete with tilt of his hat. "Charmed, truly, and rather sympathetic to your whole ordeal, Yennifer-chan ♥. Your torments as described are precisely the reason why I felt this particular class might be a bit...helpful, should I ever find myself unable to return again to this realm after one of my unfortunately necessary jaunts back to my own ♥. I admit, the Soul Society is not quite as far back as you seemed to have suffered....we, thankfully, do have gin, and plenty of it...but, while I'm there, one does notice some of the....smaller conveniences that one does take for granted while here...♥."

Wow. Okay. Very good, Shunsui, you actually managed to make it through that whole thing without even blatantly flirt---

"Besides," he added with his grin growing, "it certainly does help that the instructor will clearly make such lessons well worth the time ♥."

Yup. Okay. There it was.

While Yennefer was fresh off a bad breakup, she could certainly appreciate being appreciated, and might be making a mental note to wear dresses that showed off her chest better in the future.

"I certainly hope that I will be able to prepare you for such unfortunate possibilities," Yennefer told Shunsui. "It is...quite dreadful. What do you think you would particularly miss about this world?" Besides her rack.

Oh, it would be missed, especially if Yennifer's fashion did in fact take a rather noteworthy evolution as the lessons went on, but if there was one thing the Soul Society did not lack, it was absolutely incredible, sometimes absolutely absurd racks.

"Mostly the peace and quiet ♥," he said, almost dryly, but that was probably the most truthful answer, "but I suppose I have grown rather fond of cell phones. The technologies department where I'm from is still rather....squeamish about adapting to any sort of mortal devices. A bit harder to develop some sort of dating app using spirit butterflies ♥."

Although they could sometimes still be handy for booty calls.

"I'm not certain how you could replicate peace and quiet, sadly," Yennefer admitted. "Perhaps those noise-canceling headphones?" Seemed a bit weak. "But yes, cell phones are rather a difficulty. You have to have electricity, you have to have the network...I was fortunate that mine continued to function against all logic, but I dreaded losing the solar charger. Using magic to charge the thing seemed like it would not end well."

"I'm Belle and there are so many things here we haven't got at home. I quite enjoy movies and television, and much of the food. We do have magic in my world but I certainly don't have any. I imagine going back is going to be quite the adjustment."

"Movies and television would be quite complicated to replicate," Yennefer agreed, "but there is at least the theater, poor substitute though it is. What sorts of food do you think you would miss the most? Perhaps we can work out a way to recreate them with what you have available at home."

"I quite like ice cream," Belle said. "And burgers. And pop-tarts. The ice cream would be difficult but I think a burger would be easy enough."

"I've known nobles who dined on iced desserts in summer," Yennefer said, "so it can be done, but it might require magic, or else tremendous expense." Yennefer didn't know about hand-crank ice cream makers so she couldn't suggest Belle 'invent' those yet. "But yes, a burger should be easy enough to accomplish, and a pop tart is just a type of hand pie when you get down to it. Those should be quite doable."

Edited 2022-07-04 21:22 (UTC)

For once, her travel mug actually contained coffee, because coffee was another thing that she'd spent far too long recently without access to.

LOL as if we have human rights in this world.

Coping with the Non-Modern World, Monday Period 5

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