fandomhigh | Ancient Food Crimes; Friday, First Period [05/13].

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terrible food

Ancient Food Crimes; Friday, First Period [05/13].

Okay, this whole lack of sleep thing suuuuuucked, and Summer was just ready to get through whatever kind of weekend they were building up to so they could be done with it and move on with their lives and maybe sleep for the next few years as a result, but, right now, she had a terrible class to teach while feeling terrible, and clinging to a cup of coffee for dear life.

"Hey, everyone," she said, sighing heavily and not even caring that she was slouching on the counter of the community center's kitchen classroom and probably looking like she hadn't slept in four days because guess what she hadn't! "Welcome to Ancient Food Crimes, a class where we explore some of the most disturbing and traumatic food events of the past century, maybe a little before that, because some of the things those people did to food are too terrifying and disgusting to just ignore. Or maybe you actually like that sort of thing. Who knows? I've met all sorts of people and I've met all sorts of foods that they're still willing to put into their mouths.

"Now, I looked at the roster, and I know most of you, but there are a few names I'm less familiar with, so, lucky you guys, you're in for a treat. Anyway, my name is Summer Smith, I'm sort of notorious around here for doing terrible things to jello, and I hope to prove it to you in this course. Why do I do this? Who knows? Maybe just because it's fun."

And it got her a weird amount of validation, popularity, and a strange sense of accomplishment, three things she desperately craved even more than sleep. Yes, even right now. Give her that tasty, tasty validation, and she'll be fine never sleeping ever again.

"And I don't know how many of you are really affected by this whole sleep thing...I know it's definitely kicking my ass. So I feel like introducing you guys to some of the really messed up shit right off the bat is going to to some mega-regrettable nightmares down the road. So today, even though it deprives us of at least one truly cursed vintage recipe, I just can't in good conscious actually subject any of you to that in my current state. Well. That's not entirely true. Since I haven't been sleeping, I did make..."

And here was when she moved over to a clouche that had definitely been there the whole time and lifted it up to reveal....a monstrosity and an accompanying beverage.

"....these, soooo...."

She did not look like a proud woman in this moment, no.

"I guess what we're going to do is...since it's the first class and I'm tired as hell, is come on up, help yourself to a little bit of my sleep-deprived madness if you're feeling so bold, and tell us who you are, any allergies I should be aware of, how you've ended up in this class, and, if you can think of it, what's the worst thing you've probably ever eaten."

There was a slight pause. "I'm not sure my answer is actually appropriate for a classroom setting," she offered, and then looked over the room. "Who's next?"

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Like you totally believe Summer's excuse that she did any of that out of 'sleep deprivation.'

Stark

Shane Gooseman

Guillermo de la Cruz

Gray

Llewellyn Watts

Hannibal Lecter

Steve Rogers

If a cloche on the counter doesn't make you sweat, then you're clearly new here.

Come on up, introduce yourselves, wonder what you've done with your life to wind up in this particular spot, and earn some major cred from Summer if you actually do try a little bit of the twin salmon surprise or the...highly questionable slurry of a beverage, so beautifully presented in one of Summer's nicest sangria pitchers.

Despite his lack of sleep Goose was still wide awake and quite energetic thanks to the over abundance of caffeine and sugar that he’d been having this past week to help him stay awake.

Goose was going to have a very bad sugar crash when it finally caught up to him.

“Shane Gooseman, Goose,” he said, “I actually think this is the first class I’ve ever signed up for by myself,” he said as he realised that fact because this would have been the last class Walsh would have wanted Goose to take.

“I don’t have any allergies and I have a healing factor so I’m prepared to eat anything,” he said with a grin, he figured he could mention the healing factor without getting into the whole ‘genetically engineered super soldier’ part and to prove that he absolutely did help himself to the twin salmon surprise and the beverage and had both without any kind of problem.

Summer was giving Goose a withering look throughout that whole thing, because, no, no with that energy. Just no.

Buuuut....

"I wish I could say that I'm deeply concerned that, when you get to pick your own class for the first time, this is the class you pick, Goose," she said, "but honestly? I am not surprised and actually kind of...flattered? So...thank you?"

She sounded very uncertain, though, but then again, reality was feeling a little wobbly right now anyway.

"I'm Guillermo de la Cruz," Guillermo said with a tired wave, "I don't have any allergies that I know of but I do like to eat a wide variety of foods, I like eating," he eyed the food and drink for a bit and then decided to at least try a little bit of both and see how he went.

"Guillermo," said Summer, giving him a nod and sucking back the urge to just let out a big yawn, "I look forward to truly challenging your perspective on liking a wide variety of food and even liking eating as a whole."

Did that kind of sound like a threat?

Maybe it actually was.

"I'm Stark. I'm tired. Please don't make me drink that."

He was tired enough he'd probably consume the fish or the horrifying drink without thinking if they were handed to him.

"The actual consumption of the horrible concoctions of my sleep-deprived mind is completely voluntary, Stark," Summer assured him, "don't worry."

A beat, a blink, and a yawning shake of her head later, she added, "Same goes for the consumption of the horrible concoctions that come out of me when I don't have a good excuse for my madness, too."

Well. At least she was self-aware, right?

"Thank you." That came out more pathetically grateful than Stark had intended. He was just so tired.

"Good. That's good."

"I'm Gray," Gray said. "No allergies, and I signed up for this class because it sounded fun and like I could maybe use it to tease my brother." One of Gray's deepest secrets was that he had a well-hidden mean streak. "I didn't know the last century was 'ancient,' though." He guessed mortals saw time differently. "The worst thing I ever ate was probably this cheese with worms in it. The worms were supposed to be there. I didn't know the worms were there before I put it in my mouth." Raiden might have done a slow-mo leap from across the room shouting, "Nooooooo!" to try to stop him, or maybe that was just Gray's memory of the incident. "And it wasn't even a demon food or something. This was in Italy."

He sampled the salmon thing and dubbed it, "Not the worst thing I've ever had in my mouth," but he had too much self-respect to touch the, uh, beverage. "Can I take a picture?" he asked, holding up his phone.

The last century was totally ancient. Also, Summer just thought she was funny.

Summer also felt....oddly pleased that her fish mess managed to at least be better than wormy cheese, and she nodded. "Please do," she said. "But if you put it on any socials, I might have to ask you tag me, because that's just good for business."

She had a reputation to uphold, after all.

"I think you're going to pretty well in the class, Gray," she added with an approving nod, behind another stretching yawn, that continued through the next part and garbled at least some of the words that followed, "Ahn I 'ope I don't....ugh." She blinked, shook her head, cut the yawn off. "I hope," she tried again, "I can still give you plenty of material for torturing," he said tease, but okay, Summer, "your brother. I will...always approve of torturing," again, he said tease, "brothers."

Gray snapped a photo and sent it off to Raiden with, Hey, bro! Remember these? He figured it was even odds whether it would make Ray cry or he'd decide to make one for dinner that night out of misplaced nostalgia. Either way, it was everyone else's problem.

Then he yawned. "Oh, man. Everyone else being sleepy is making me...so sleepy..." He was just going to...put his head down and take a little nap now.

It was a good thing Daman wasn't here right now because the envy had to be off the charts.

"Casu marzu?" That got Hannibal's attention. "Brave man. Did you enjoy it?"

"Very much not," Gray said. "I was not expecting the maggots. It was...a sensation."

Hannibal nodded. "There are methods for removing them, but I've never had the opportunity to try."

"Llewellyn Watts," he introduced himself. "I haven't the faintest idea how I ended up signed up for this or what an allergy is."

He wasn't going to mention the 'worst thing he'd ever eaten', because his sister had frankly been a terrible cook on top of being barely more than a child herself, and frankly eating anything in those days was preferable to nothing at all, so.

"Oh, boy," said Summer, blinking a little at Watts with an answer like that, and hoping she would remember, in her current state, to stock a few epipens in the classroom if there weren't already some there, "this could be an adventure."

Although she supposed if he didn't know what they were, he probably didn't have any, but she was way too tired to think about it that way.

"Dr. Hannibal Lecter." He smiled and nodded to Summer. "I will always take your classes, and I am only slightly disappointed this won't be focusing on Roman or medieval food crimes."

He ate a bite of the food, shrugged, drank a sip of the drink, and grimaced. "Not something I would be inclined to serve myself. Most of the things I consider the worst are probably not what others would."

He was not a McDonald's fan.

It wasn't much of a reaction, no, but Summer might have missed it entirely because of her exhaustion, but she did catch that grimace and looked exceptionally (albeit sleepily) proud.

"Yeah, well," she offered, "I've only got seven weeks, I'm pretty sure I'd need a lot longer if we were going that far back. Plus, someone sent me a link to an Instagram about ridiculous 70s dinner parties, and I meaaaaan, when someone just hands you a goldmine..."

Hannibal shook his head. "A form of nostalgia I'm not looking forward to." If you thought they were bad, imagine being subjected to them as a pre-teen.

"How are you coping with the sleeplessness?" It had passed him by this time ~~because nobody needs a sleep-deprived cannibal. Or Hannibal with a wish~~.

"Ugh!" Summer said, with an expression that probably answered the question far better than words ever could. "Not well, I can tell you that much!"

And she probably wasn't going to even get a wish, because her player was definitely just in this for the character torture.

"I just want some sleep, is that too much to ask? Apparently, it is, because, pardon my French, Dr. Lecter, but what the fuck, Island? I'm just glad there's some people unaffected, because if this is leading up to something big tomorrow or Sunday, I am going to be useless."

She then snorted a little.

"Unless it's weakness is fucked up retro jello recipes, anyway. Then I've got this."

If only!

Hannibal chuckled. "I'm certain you'll do very well, but please feel free to drop by my home if you need a safe place to be. Or would like to discuss jello recipes or 1970s terrible food."

Summer gave a soft smile for that. "Thanks," she said. "I wouldn't want to ruin any of the surprises for you, and I'm pretty sure holing up in Barry's lab is easily one of the safest places for me to hole up."

But then she narrowed her eyes in a bitter glare.

"Even if," she all but snarled, "he refuses to keep upping the dose on a Knock-Me-Out cocktail out of 'conceeeeeerns'," oh, you better believe this came with angry finger quotes, "about my 'well being' and 'completely human constitution.'"

It was impressive how big her eyeroll could get even with her eyelids as heavy as they were, and her arms folded firmly in front of her chest.

"His stubborn and determined consideration for my health and safety absolutely disgusts me."

Which wasn't true, in the slightest, she would really appreciate it for how sweet and considerate that was....eventually. After some sleep.

Possibly all the sleep.

Edited 2022-05-13 23:10 (UTC)

"My house has magical protections," Hannibal said, "although now I'm curious how they would compare to Barry's scientific ones."

He gave her an amused look. "I would offer to give you a sedative, but I very much doubt it would work. And for all we know, it might all hit at once when whatever this is stops."

"...I see no negative aspects to this possibility at all," Summer decided. "Yes. That. Give me all of it."

"Regrettably, I don't have anything with me," Hannibal lied, because it would be weird to have sedatives on you. "I can bring it to you after class, if you like, but you will have to promise to visit myself or the clinic once this ends, just in case."

There was...a paaaaause.

"Yeah," Summer said, "sure, whatever. Definitely. I will definitely do that."

He wasn't the only one who could lie!

He was, however, much, much better at it.

If she wanted to lie, that was her own issue; Hannibal had done his due diligence.

"I'll see you after class, then. Here, or you can accompany me to my home."

Steve was a cheating cheater with two jobs, one of which took him from the island, so he was bright-eyed and bushy tailed today (...not literally, which needed to be mentioned). "Hi! I'm Steve Rogers, and I'm happy to be here! I am teaching paintball this summer and live in town above Stark Industries."

He reached for the smoothy. "This doesn't seem so bad! Chocolate covered up a lot of things, and liver is good for you."

He didn't mean to sound like a PSA. It just came naturally.

See, now, Summer would have just thought that bright-eyed and bushy-tailed was just Steeeeeeve's default regardless of what was going on in the island.

Same with the natural PSA-cadence of his voice, which Summer was...way too tired to want to acknowledge right now.

"....it's good to see you in class again, Steeeeeve," she said, miraculously not turning the extra vowels into a yawn, and wondering if she was tired enough that it managed to sound as genuine as it was, or so tired that it just came out sounding sarcastic, which it definitely wasn't.

"It's good to be back, Summer," Steve said earnestly. "I always learn so much!"

She's too tired to even be pissed that the Knock-Me-Out cocktail she had Barry try to put together for her didn't work, even if she suspected that he didn't actually make it as strong as he could have due to absolutely ridiculous concerns about things like it, you know, killing her or something equally lame or dumb like that, ugh, what a total softie.

Like, she was pretty sure he seriously underestimated the amount of substance abuse one redhead could handle.

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Ancient Food Crimes; Friday, First Period [05/13].

Sign In - Ancient Food Crimes, 05/13.

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Class Activity: Introductions - Ancient Food Crimes, 05/13.

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Talk to the Teacher - Ancient Food Crimes, 05/13.

OOC - Ancient Food Crimes, 05/13.