Stark (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
stykera) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2022-02-01 07:37 am
stykera) wrote in fandomhigh2022-02-01 07:37 am
Living with Trauma, Tuesday 2/1, 3rd Period
Stark, still looking like he desperately needed a good night’s sleep, was at the front of the classroom once again this week.
“Some of this has been general. A little vague,” Stark began. “So, I thought something a bit different this week. Something more specific. Something that might be easier to talk about.” He paused, frowning. “Might be. And you still never have to talk if you don’t want to. About any of this. It might help but you don’t have to. I can talk enough for everyone.”
“Where I was, before I was here, and after I was here the first two times I was here…where I’m from, I mean, it’s a…not the best place to be from. Not the best place to stay. Nearly everything I might talk about here happened there. Plenty of things happened there. Too many things.” He was starting to babble now and he could hear himself doing it. It was easy, at the moment, to fall back into old habits and old patterns.
“I spent a lot of time places I didn’t want to be. Places I didn’t choose to be. Places I couldn’t leave. Cells. A mining colony. A research base. But I’m not there now. I’m here. Because I chose to be here. Choice is important to have. Especially when it’s been taken from you often. I don’t know if any of you have experience with that. I hope you haven’t. It’s awful, always.”
“But,” he continued after a moment, “I’m here now. As are all of you. None of us are trapped somewhere or held against our will or being used by someone. Even if that did happen before. This is…this is a good place to recover from hurts. Usually. But it’s not the only place. The first place I ever chose to stay, and to return to, was a ship. She was home, for a while. I had friends there. I still have friends there. And they gave me a place to stay where I was welcomed but I was free to come and go. And I did. That helped, being able to leave if I wished. It helps here, still. Knowing I have the option to go.”
“There were other things. Locks that I controlled.” Don’t mind the sad little sigh there, students. “Having my own space. Those apply here as well. All reminders that I am my own person and not property.”
"Again, I hope none of you have your own experience with this. If you do, you don't have to talk about it. But you can, if you like. Sometimes talking helps. Sometimes."
“Some of this has been general. A little vague,” Stark began. “So, I thought something a bit different this week. Something more specific. Something that might be easier to talk about.” He paused, frowning. “Might be. And you still never have to talk if you don’t want to. About any of this. It might help but you don’t have to. I can talk enough for everyone.”
“Where I was, before I was here, and after I was here the first two times I was here…where I’m from, I mean, it’s a…not the best place to be from. Not the best place to stay. Nearly everything I might talk about here happened there. Plenty of things happened there. Too many things.” He was starting to babble now and he could hear himself doing it. It was easy, at the moment, to fall back into old habits and old patterns.
“I spent a lot of time places I didn’t want to be. Places I didn’t choose to be. Places I couldn’t leave. Cells. A mining colony. A research base. But I’m not there now. I’m here. Because I chose to be here. Choice is important to have. Especially when it’s been taken from you often. I don’t know if any of you have experience with that. I hope you haven’t. It’s awful, always.”
“But,” he continued after a moment, “I’m here now. As are all of you. None of us are trapped somewhere or held against our will or being used by someone. Even if that did happen before. This is…this is a good place to recover from hurts. Usually. But it’s not the only place. The first place I ever chose to stay, and to return to, was a ship. She was home, for a while. I had friends there. I still have friends there. And they gave me a place to stay where I was welcomed but I was free to come and go. And I did. That helped, being able to leave if I wished. It helps here, still. Knowing I have the option to go.”
“There were other things. Locks that I controlled.” Don’t mind the sad little sigh there, students. “Having my own space. Those apply here as well. All reminders that I am my own person and not property.”
"Again, I hope none of you have your own experience with this. If you do, you don't have to talk about it. But you can, if you like. Sometimes talking helps. Sometimes."
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