fandomhigh | Badass Bitch Survival Guide; Monday, Second Period [11/08].

With having lost about a good month of lessons for this class and having to then jump right into a heist which could have gone much better, in her not-so-humble opinion, Rosa wasn't exactly sure where to take this class next to make up for the clear damage that being stuck with Smith for those first lessons had caused. So she supposed she would just go back to the beginning, and treat the class like it was just getting started after all, and cram all the more important lessons in before the end of the semester.

Including one of her favorites, and while she still was loathed to admit that she even had favorite lessons for this class, the effort to amusement ratio was always nice: she barely had to do anything for it, but the students very rarely disappointed.

But who knew, with this group. They'd been tainted.

So they got to the classroom and find some seats, while Rosa just sat at the desk up front with her feet up, idly watching them as they filed in, they would find a list of names up on the board:

EMILY GOLDFINCH
SONIA RAMIREZ
DIANA VALLES
MARCIE BEAUCHAMP
ROSA DIAZ

Then she checked her watch again, sighed, and launched into the class from her nice comfortable spot at the desk. "Alright," she said, "let's get started. This is usually my first lesson for this class, but since that kind of got fucked up, we're doing it a little late in the game. It doesn't matter. that means introductions, especially when there's some new faces, but here's the thing. It usually ties in with the first week nicely because everyone and their mother is doing introductions, and the whole point is that I don't really care who you are. Especially since a badass bitch should be able to be just about anyone."

She gestured at the names on the board.

"These are some different identities and aliases I've used in the past, that I'm okay with sharing because, for some reason or another, I can't really use them very effectively around here any more, or various other places around the country. For all intents and purposes, if you look at the paperwork, they're all actual, real people, with ID and history, they'll pass a background check, they've got goals, they've got some real estate and businesses. And they can all be pretty handy in the pursuit of baddassery. A good, solid alternate identity to disappear into can be a useful survival tool to any badass bitch, and not even just for throwing off creeps and people," she gestured vaguely toward them now, "you just don't want to talk to.

"So today," she continued, "I've giving you five minutes. Come up with a good secret identity or alternate persona. Convince me you're someone you're not. If it's believable, you're free to go. If it's not, keep trying. Simple enough, right? And, let's be honest, none of us really want to be here right now, least of all me, so take a few moments, and when you're ready, come on up, and let's see what you've got."

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Like you're someone else.

It's short. It's sweet. It seems to suggest that your teacher's name might not actually be her name after all. What more could you want in a lecture?

"Alright," said Rosa, even though it had only technically been four minutes, not the promised five, "that's time. Someone come up and get this started. Tell me who you are and why I should believe you, and if it doesn't suck, you can go."

You might still be able to go even if it did suck, especially if it really sucked, but that would be just to get rid of you.

Sure, she's there if anyone wants to talk to her outside the context of class or afterwards, but this class is inherently meant to be a blow-off first lesson, so wouldn't that defeat the purpose?

Fake Identity Class is also one of my favorite BABSG lessons, dammit.

This woman is a chameleon, dammit.

Kiem Tegnar

Belle

Belle was trying to think of a circumstance in which she would need to pretend to be someone else. It certainly had never come up before! Perhaps she could just claim to be someone she knew who wasn't in the class?

She was also a bit distracted by the final name on Rosa's list and wondering if that really meant the teacher wasn't who she said she was or if it was meant to sow confusion.

Alara Kitan

“Um …I’m Solana Sage,” was Alara using a fake name from a previous class? Yes she was, “er - “ that was as far as she had gotten it seemed.

"Uh-huh," said Rosa, clearly not at all convinced as she looked her up and down. "Sure. And where are you from, Solana Sage?"

“Uh…” Alara paused and said the first planet that came to her mind, “Deneb 3?” sounding more of a question than it should have been.

"Lydia Deetz," Belle said after a brief hesitation. Her former roommate wasn't around to to object to her name being borrowed and she probably wouldn't have minded anyway. "From New York."

Belle did not sound like she was from New York. Belle sounded like she was from Australia.

Nell Ingram

"Sister Erasmus," Nell said in her best churchy accent. "From God's Cloud of Glory Church. That's down near Knowxville, Tennessee, if'n you'un don't know."

The real Sister Erasmus would have her head if she ever heard Nell pretending to be her, but since the church people kept mostly entirely off any government lists, no one could really check her out.

"Oh yeah?" asked Rosa, quirking her brow in an interested expression, before it got a little steely at the end, a little more challenging as she asked, "Which part?"

"Oh god," said Rosa, fittingly, almost compulsively, thanks to many, many memories of Catholic school flooding back to her, and she shook her head. She had to admit, this one got points for creativity going the holy roller route.

But she shook all that out of her head before considering Nell again and commenting, "You seem a little young, for a nun...."

Yeah, way more of a question, and it was clear that Rosa was definitely not impressed.

"What's the weather like?" she asked. "On Deneb 3?"

She threw in a little questioning lilt to the end of it in the same way 'Solana' had done, as if the uncertainty at the end was part of the pronounciation.

"M'not a nun," Nell says sharply, summoning her best Sister Erasmus attitude. "We here at God's Cloud of Glory don't hold truck with none of that foppery. I'm just a good God fearin' church woman."

Belle didn't have a good answer for that so she was going to try a different tactic.

"All of my parts are from New York," she said. "Where did you think they were from?"

Okay. Congratulations, Belle. That actually managed to get what looked like it could have been a smirk at the very corner of Rosa's mouth if you knew how to find it.

"I meant," she clarified, "what part of New York?"

"Foppery, huh?" asked Rosa, who actually had a hard time keeping a faint snort out of her response, so she just let it go and wondered if that meant she'd get more of this holy righteous sass. "Alright, then. No foppery here. Just a person wondering what such a God fearin' church woman such as yourself is doing in a place like this, Sister."

"Yes," Nell sad. "Exactly. Foppery."

Now Nell wasn't much of a liar, but she knew that the best way to lie was to keep it as close to the truth as possible.

"Now how I got here, I don't rightly know. I just turned up in these woods here. M'told that happens to you'uns here more often than you'd prob'ly like to admit, but I'm thinkin' maybe somebody kidnapped me or something. Wouldn't be you, would it?"

“Oh it’s really nice on Deneb 3,” Alara said, she could actually answer this one and not make it sound like a question, “a lot of people love to holiday here because of the weather,”

Badass Bitch Survival Guide; Monday, Second Period [11/08].

Sign In - BABSG, 11/08.

Listen to the Lecture - BABSG, 11/08.

Fake Introductions - BABSG, 11/09.

Talk to "Rosa" - BABSG, 11/08.

OOC - BABSG, 11/08.

Re: Sign In - BABSG, 11/08.

Re: Sign In - BABSG, 11/08.

Re: Listen to the Lecture - BABSG, 11/08.

Re: Sign In - BABSG, 11/08.

Re: Fake Introductions - BABSG, 11/09.

Re: Fake Introductions - BABSG, 11/09.

Re: Fake Introductions - BABSG, 11/09.

Re: Fake Introductions - BABSG, 11/09.

Re: Sign In - BABSG, 11/08.

Re: Fake Introductions - BABSG, 11/09.

Re: Fake Introductions - BABSG, 11/09.

Re: Fake Introductions - BABSG, 11/09.

Re: Fake Introductions - BABSG, 11/09.

Re: Fake Introductions - BABSG, 11/09.

Re: Fake Introductions - BABSG, 11/09.

Re: Fake Introductions - BABSG, 11/09.

Re: Fake Introductions - BABSG, 11/09.

Re: Fake Introductions - BABSG, 11/09.

Re: Fake Introductions - BABSG, 11/09.