Fashion, Style, and all other things you need to know to be a generally Hoopy Kid. 101.

[best-bang-yet.livejournal.com]

Zaphod walks into class somberly, and stares at his students. For a few long moments, the room is eclipsed in silence.

“Your world is going to end.”

Zaphod’s deep baritone cuts through the room like a knife. Without waiting for the students’ reactions, he continues.

“Specifically, it’s going to be annihilated by a fleet of alien ships. Or it’s going to be eradicated by nuclear missiles, as yours is one of the only planets still backwater enough to think that keeping highly explosive war machines in populated areas is a keen idea. Or, a new ice age will make you all into semi-evolved popsiciles.”

As he speaks, Zaphod’s mouths start to quiver.

“Or gnomes will stop hiding in the dryers and eat you all in your sleep. Or the cheese monkeys will finally show themselves and start the revolution. HAH! Oh man, are you kids buying this? You should have seen your faces. Some of you were even there till the bit about the cheese monkeys. Wild.”

Zaphod grins winningly. “No, really, your world is going to be blown to smithereens. But, there’s nothing you can do about it. I could do something about it, but I don’t really care for paperwork. So, if you’re going to die a brief, but painful death, you may as well do so looking good. Take a look at me.”

Zaphod motions to himself. “Good lord, just look at me. This kids, is style. This vest, made out of 100% Bethselamin hooker fur. The cowboy boots too. The pale green is particularly hard to come by. And I mean that in more ways than one.”

“Some of you may argue that I don’t match. That fur and spandex aren’t meant to tango. I argue that most of you are primates, so what does your opinion matter? It doesn’t. Style is an attitude. You wear what you want, wear it with really hip machismo, and eventually suckers with no self-esteem of their own follow you blindly. I was president of the galaxy, I know a thing or two about followers.”

“Take a tick to look over your syllabus.

“Now, I’m going to give you this week’s theme. Bondage Space Pirates. Make it work. Oh, and keep it pg-13 rated. If I get fired, I can’t convince the Principal she’s mad for the Beeblebrox.”

Zaphod leans back in his chair, pulls out a magazine, and waits to be semi-impressed.

Comments

[sogothcally.livejournal.com]

((ooc: ::dies:: You win. Seriously. You win the internet. Perfect.))

[joan-not-jane.livejournal.com]

((ooc: I love you. That's so brilliant!))

[persian-eunuch.livejournal.com]

*just stares, mouth open slightly, struck dumb with confusion*

((ooc: rotflmao That's great. :) ))

[isnotimportant.livejournal.com]

[in fandom_lounge, later]

Mister Beeblebrox, since England won the Ashes earlier this week without the ah, um, bureaucratic intervention of which you speak, this particular planet is safe for at least another three years. Please try not to disturb our students more than is ...

*looks at the Big Z's appearance*

*deep breath*

... more than is absolutely unavoidable.

*pause*

And you know my views on bringing news of the future into earlier timelines. Please try to have some semblance of self-control.

*realises how unlikely that is*

[best-bang-yet.livejournal.com]

Oh, relax guy. I'm all about self-control. And my-self is controlled.

*points to other head*

It's his-self you should worry about.

What's this worrying about timelines anyway? It all sorts itself out in the end. Or doesn't. But if that's the case, then it is or isn't not going or going to work not out no matter what. You know that, provided you don't mull over it too long.

I think what you need is a girlfriend. Boyfriend. Eunich? I think we've got one.

[isnotimportant.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure that I know how to handle a eunuch. Oh wait, let me rephrase that.

I'm not going to take a boyfriend again any time soon. Not since that whole Arthur thing blew up in my face. So to speak.

I understand that my landlady (http://www.livejournal.com/users/deirdreofamber/1885.html) has offerred to host a sort of ladies' club. I wonder if I might meet someone there?

[(Anonymous)]

*hint* get yer landlady drunk. Take my word for it, she'll go for it.

[isnotimportant.livejournal.com]

*nods sagely*

[best-bang-yet.livejournal.com]

I'm not going to take a boyfriend again any time soon. Not since that whole Arthur thing blew up in my face. So to speak.

You know oldie, I thought there was more to that kid than he was letting on! I think the paranoid robot called it first.

Far as your landlady, I say go for whatever works and doesn't break galactic law. Much. I've got some wild drink mixes I can float your way.

[scissors--.livejournal.com]

*wanders in, takes a seat, ponders the possibilities of bondage space pirates*

((ooc: bondage space pirates? 0.o I think that's the weirdest thing i heard all week))

[best-bang-yet.livejournal.com]

(ooc- Around here, that's definitely saying something. I mean, I think we actually have a bondage space pirate or two on the roster.)

[swerval_zero]

(OOC: Oh, you met Beka?)

[best-bang-yet.livejournal.com]

[OOC: I...I'm not sure if you're joking.]

[swerval_zero]

(OOC:...neither am I, actually.)

[12parseckessel.livejournal.com]

[[ooc: I just wandered in, although I'm not in the class. There are indeed space pirates in town...]]

[youngest-sister.livejournal.com]

*wanders through, wearing one yellow shoe and a lot of fishnets with beads woven in. The beads are flashing neon colours, at the moment*

*notices Beeblebrox, and grins. Waves manically at him for a bit, and then turns one of the desks into a mountain goat*

*wanders away*

[trulydeath.livejournal.com]

[ooc: My other-game Trillian is dying laughing, in my head. And wanting to snog him, of course.]

[best-bang-yet.livejournal.com]

[ooc: Hurray! I thought I was the only Trillian/Zaphod fan left!]

[bugofjustice.livejournal.com]

*Tick is mysteriously compelled to wander into the class for a moment and look over the syllabus.*

[best-bang-yet.livejournal.com]

Hey man, anyone who can pull of that shade of blue doesn't need this class.

[the4thsister.livejournal.com]

Would bondage space pirates wear pvc sir?

[best-bang-yet.livejournal.com]

Convince me they would, and they would.

[the4thsister.livejournal.com]

No problem and does my partner actually have to wear the outfit cos I'm not sure Buffy will go for my ideas

[best-bang-yet.livejournal.com]

*sigh*

If they were allowed to refuse, there wouldn't be much point in having partners, would there? Just keep in mind that they get to dress you as well.

[the4thsister.livejournal.com]

*Paige thinks* I'm sure I'll be able to persaude a girl I've just met to let me dress her in silver bondage tape

[pure-blooddraco.livejournal.com]

Draco almost literally headdesks thinking about how he was going to dress Death like a bondaged space pirate. He's so skinny!

[death-n-binky.livejournal.com]

*DEATH takes a seat next to Draco, wearing his usual black robes, now adorned with colored condoms. He removes one from his scythe*

[pure-blooddraco.livejournal.com]

Draco's eyes widen considarbly.
"I-I...um. Sure, why not? If you don't mind me asking, where did you get all those...things?"




OOC: LOL!

[death-n-binky.livejournal.com]

*DEATH points a skeletal finger in the general direction of the clinic*

[pure-blooddraco.livejournal.com]

"Well, you are sure to be popular with the ladies." said Draco "So...bondage space pirates, huh? Well, with you being very...skeletal, the pirate part should be easy. Jolly rodger and all that."

[death-n-binky.livejournal.com]

[pure-blooddraco.livejournal.com]

"I think black would be fine, pirates wear dark colors don't they? Now, I think we'd have incorporate a little silver to get the space-man part down. How about something like this (http://www.boomspeed.com/sammie_jo/Death.jpg)

[best-bang-yet.livejournal.com]

I gotta tell you boys, I hear what you're saying, and I'm digging it. Almost looking forward to the presentation. Keep it up.

[death-n-binky.livejournal.com]

[pure-blooddraco.livejournal.com]

Well, if you wouldn't mind...I know it's kind of odd but the professor seems to have a zeal for clothes that look weird.

[likeguidelines.livejournal.com]

Barbossa's fairly certain he understands how to pull off the pirate look. He's not adverse to bondage, either, but the "space" part is a bit confusing to him.

He sits down and thinks about what he's seen some of the girls in his classes wearing, and a slow smile comes over his face.

He can't wait for Quinn to arrive.

[other-logan.livejournal.com]

Logan lights up with a smile. This class is going to be awesome - sure the professor's a nutjob, but at least I'll never be bored here.

[lane-drums.livejournal.com]

Bondage Space Pirates?? oh my gosh. Mama would freak if she even caught someone thinking those three words together. Do such things even exist?

[other-logan.livejournal.com]

Who even cares? Look at Professor Who's-it up there. Let's just throw together the ugliest design we can possibly come up with. The looks on the other students' faces will be priceless!

[lane-drums.livejournal.com]

*doesn't know what to say*

That is brilliant!