fandomhigh | Culinary Crimes; Tuesday, Second Period [06/15].

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culinary crimes

Culinary Crimes; Tuesday, Second Period [06/15].

"Gooood morning, everyone!" Summer had been looking forward to this week in particular every since she stumbled across today's particular monstrosity, so you knew you were all in for a real treat, right? "Today, we're going to be asking the question: is it a crime to be extra?"

If it was, you might as well cuff her and take her away now, really.

"And," she added, "today's actually a more modern recipe, borne out of this century for a change, riding on that niche area of culinary interest that seems to really push the boundaries of excess and explore just how ridiculous you can get. It is a very involved recipe, so we'll definitely be walking through it together, but, before we get to that, we do have a quick and easy vintage recipe,, by special request," here, she was definitely throwing a smirk toward Stark ~~assuming he was there~~, "that we can just make and let set while we work the main recipe because, hoo boy, guys, it is something, let me tell you.

"So, without further ado," for dramatic effect, she reached over to grab a nice package of roast beef and plopped it onto the counter in front of her, along with a bag of chocolate chips, "let's get started first on our beef fudge."

And that was the lighter recipe...

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Like your class just started out with the words 'beef fudge.'

Stark

Ignis Scientia

Clare Devlin

Liam Kincaid-Price

Nell Ingram

What do you get when someone asks Summer not to add chocolate to the main recipe and she thinks she's exploiting a loophole by finding a worse recipe that involves chocolate somehow? Beef fudge!

So get out your grinders, everyone, and literally throw roast beef (remember to remove the hard crusty bits!), chocolate chips, marshmallow, butter, sugar, walnuts, etc, etc, and let her rip! And look forward to trying it, because any recipe that promises that it's a 'lucious' fudge is promising a lot!

And then it was time to put that aside for later, and get onto the main event, which Summer's not even entirely sure what to call, but we'll just go with Sausage Pancake Extraveganza! Which doesn't sound too terrible, right? Summer wants to walk you through it slowly, though, because she feels the real strength of this recipe is the surprises to be had along the way.

"So we're going to start," she explained, "with some sausage patties, and we're going to slice them in half and fry them up on our pan."

Not so bad so far! Especially when she grabs the eggs and a few rings so that they could cook them into nice, easy round shapes, perfect for what you'd assume would be a breakfast sandwich. But with the sausage as the buns, probably, right? ....right? The sausages are the buns? Add a little cheese to the sausage, because, yeah, cheese is a good addition, then fold the sausage 'buns' over the cheese. Okay, so maybe not with the egg in between, but the cheese in between, that sounds great!

But now Summer is getting out a jar and explaining to line it up with parchment paper, which is probably starting to throw a few expectations out the window. And then she asks everyone to grab the container at their stations, which they'll open up to reveal...macaroni and cheese. Yes. Macaroni and cheese, which you're now going to scoop into the parchment-paper lined container. Pack it in there nicely, and then start adding in your sausages and eggs in layers, filling it in with more of the mac'n'cheese until the vessel is full and nicely packed. Pop that sucker in the blast freezer for a little bit, and while they're waiting, it's time to mix up some pancake batter.

Oh? Did you forget about the pancake aspect of this? Or have you been on the edge of your seat in anticipation for how pancakes were going to factor into this? Also, we're going to get some oil heated up, because that's going to be important in a second.

Once your small mac'n'cheese-egg-and-sausage tower is chilled, it's time to remove it from the jar and set it out on a raised rack with a dish underneath so you can start pouring your pancake batter over it. Once it's fully coated, it's time to drop the whole cyllander into the oil to fry that shit uuuuuuup. Once that's done, pull it out of the fryer, add a nice ice cream scoop sized pat of butter, drench with maple syrup, and they're ready to dig in!

Stark was very sorry about what he'd accidentally unleashed on everyone. So very sorry.

He was darting utterly betrayed looks at Summer while preparing the fudge and muttering to himself about trying to remember not to speak in certain circumstances.

Once he moved on the second recipe though, he was just a bit overwhelmed by it all. At least there wasn't chocolate in it? Just nearly everything else.

"She was right," he said to nobody in particular. "It is a bit much. More than bit. But probably edible."

Fudge made from beef and a sausage-egg-mac'n'cheese filled pancake tower! Thoughts? Opinions? Glares? Your feedback is always, always deeply appreciated!

Stark was willing to try just about anything. He wouldn't necessarily be happy about don't so but he would do it. So of course he took a bite of the fudge.

And then another.

And then, looking thoroughly confused by this turn of events, said "this tastes fine." It might even be good but he couldn't say that out loud because it would only encourage Summer.

"Really?" Clare said, deeply skeptical.

"I wouldn't lie about that," Stark said. He took desserts seriously!

"You can't taste it, really."

Clare took a careful, tiny nibble. "It's really good," she said. "Why is it really good?"

"I don't know," Stark said. "It's very confusing. Meat isn't meant to go in desserts!"

"The rest have been vile," Clare said. "We haven't been wrong about that."

"They have," Stark agreed. "So why isn't this one?"

This was a mystery that might plague him forever.

"Should we try the other? Or seems edible just... excessive."

"I don't know why the macaroni is involved at all," Clare admitted.

To make it Extra! Obviously.

Stark shrugged. "Some of these recipes I think ingredients are added just because they can be. Whether or not they should be. But at least the flavors should be mostly alright? I hope."

"It feels a bit like mortar?" Claire said. "To hold the sausage and eggs together."

Stark considered that for a moment. "That could be why. Or it could have just been someone deciding to throw something odd into their breakfast. And then turning their breakfast into... this. I hope it tastes better than mortar."

All of these ingredients were fine on their own and he was rather fond of pancakes at this point.

"Well, we were all fooled by the beef fudge," Clare said. "Maybe this is also secretly delicious?"

"Unless this is terrible and the fudge was here to confuse us."

Secretly tasty beef fudge as a way to lull them into a false sense of security! That was diabolical. Summer wouldn't do that, would she?

"This one seems like it will just be a lot." A lot of what was the question.

"It's so tall and scary," Clare agreed.

"It will only be scarier cold," Stark decided. "Best to just try it now."

He picked up a fork to do just that. Unsurprisingly, the pancake-covered breakfast and mac&cheese tower was, in fact, a bit much. More than a bit.

"It's...a lot."

"I daresay," said Ignis, trying to get over the mental disconnect over the fact that the beef fudge was surprisingly really not that terrible and eying the pancake tower of excess as if he was afraid it would bite him instead of the other way around, "this second one is a solid case for the importance of simplicity and how it's much better to let certain dishes and ingredients shine on their own...."

Liam did not care how supposedly delicious the beef fudge was, he was not going to try it.

Or the… whatever that was with the macaroni and the sausages. Just noping right on out of all of that.

More for everyone else?

Incorperating pancakes this week was a little bittersweet for Summer, but she felt confident that a certain someone would have appreciated the whole thing. Or at the very least would have had no qualms about eating it.

Stumbling across that recipe video and watching it blind was seriously one of the most thrilling, edge-of-my-seat media experiences ever. Either that says a lot about the state of most thrillers or I just really need to get out more.

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Culinary Crimes; Tuesday, Second Period [06/15].

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