Wednesday Afternoon Assembly, Wednesday, December 9, 2020

[sith_happened]

Today the students were meeting Anakin in front of Portalocity. "I am your special guest speaker today," he said, "and so I am going to provide an introduction to this festive winter season. The best way I can think of is to, frankly, not be on this island. We need to go to the heart of the action."

He looked decidedly unthrilled. "We're going to a mall."

In 1993.

"In a slightly different timeline," he added. "We will first help out packing up baskets for the holidays for people who are food insecure--" Anakin remembered too well what that felt like, "--and then we will be going to a mall to shop for gifts--credits will be provided--for moddable children at the shelter. And you can stand in line and meet Santa."

That red-coated weirdo.

"I am here to answer any questions."

Yes, ask the guy from another galaxy about this holiday. It'll go well!

Comments

Let's go to the malllll!

[sith_happened]

The hair is big, the clothes are mysteriously missing the two inches above their bellies and are just so, so shiny.

Each of you has a little paper angel with the name, age, and clothing sizes of your moddable child on it. Get an outfit and a toy using the credit card that takes the money from the School Board because Anakin is petty thoughtful like that!

Or you can go stare at Santa's village and boggle. That's where Anakin is.

Re: Let's go to the malllll!

[white_oleander]

Well, the year was right! But malls were still pretty foreign territory to Astrid, who almost felt more out of place despite how much more familiar and right everything around her felt. It was a little distracting, spotting all the differences of things in the future she'd kind of gotten used to, but it felt nice, even if it was a different dimension of the same year.

She was mostly focused on the kid on her little paper angel right now, anyway. She'd been that kid a few times, albeit briefly. If she wasn't at Fandom, she'd probably be that kid again. So she wanted to do right by this kid in a way that really only Starr and Claire had ever done for her.

Re: Let's go to the malllll!

[bookbeltof_love]

Look, the song was ancient by now, but Nina was giggling a little as she looked around.

"Ohmygosh," she said, "this looks like something out of a Robin Sparkles video!!!!!!!!!!"

Nina... probably spent too much time on the internet.

Sure, sure, she'd get to the shopping bit, but giggling first.

Re: Let's go to the malllll!

[sparkinyou]

"... Okay. I have to admit I have no idea who Robin Sparkles is," Miles admitted.

Re: Let's go to the malllll!

[bookbeltof_love]

"You haven't heard of her?!?!?!!!!!!!!!" Nina asked, scandalized. "Wait, maybe you know her biggest song?????? The chorus goes:

Everybody come and play
Throw every last care away
Let's go to the mall, todaaaaay!!!!!!"

Nina was not even sorry, Miles.

Re: Let's go to the malllll!

[sparkinyou]

Miles just sort of stood there wondering if this was some kind of joke.

"Yeeeeeeeah. No," Miles said shaking his head slowly. "Can't say I have."

He was just a tad bit scared.

Re: Let's go to the malllll!

[bookbeltof_love]

Nina squinted at him.

"Are you, like, sure you come from a universe like this one?????????"

Maybe it was a universe thing?

Re: Let's go to the malllll!

[sexy_giraffe]

Tahani noticed immediately that this mall was full of vintage finds and so her 9 year old charge was going to be the most fashion-forward kid at her school.

She was supplementing the school credit card with her own which should've gotten her points towards the Good Place but alas, her clothing choices were all made by Bangladeshi child labor...

Re: Let's go to the malllll!

[gospel_of_oblivion]

Illyana just looked at her little paper angel dubiously. "How are we supposed to know what the child likes with just this information?" she asked. "...what do children even enjoy?"

Re: Let's go to the malllll!

[unusual_sith]

It was no different than any other Earth mall, as far as Lana could tell. She was absolutely going to get something practical and warm, and...what even were appropriate gifts for an eight-year-old here?

They would be getting a huge science kit. Hopefully they were nerds, too.