Guiding the Powerful Yet Incompetent, Tuesday, Second Period

[tellmehowstuffworks]

Yennefer was still trying to wrap her head around 'democracy' but she thought she'd gotten the gist of it by now.

Relatedly, Henry VIII was back.

"This is not the king you previously served. This is his identical cousin...Hugh. Funny story. You've been asked by the queen you serve to visit Hugh and deal with a rather delicate situation in her stead. You see, every five years the nobles of this kingdom hold an election, and if they don't like how the current king is getting on, they can replace him. Hugh is nearing the end of his first term, and he has been deeply terrible at the job--closing the borders, wreaking havoc with the taxes, generally causing all sorts of economic chaos, plus he keeps trying to sleep with his bannermen's wives, plus there has been a plague upon the land during his tenure, which he has opted to simply...pretend isn't happening.

"Oh, and his children are all terrible, too.

"So it came as no surprise to anyone but Hugh when he lost the election last month in favor of a duke known for his competent management of his lands. However, the deadline to vacate the castle is coming up, and Hugh refuses to admit that he lost."

"Voter fraud!" Hugh exclaimed. "The election was rigged!"

"Just so," Yennefer agreed. "However, for reasons completely unbeknownst to me, King Hugh has a cult of personality among a certain unpleasant minority of the peasantry, and there are concerns that if he is not handled delicately, he could attempt to lead an uprising to keep the crown. Therefore, your job is to convince him that he lost." Yennefer shot Hugh a doubtful look. "Good luck with that."

Comments

Sign In

[tellmehowstuffworks]

Ugh, this guy again?

Re: Sign In

[scoffs_at_tradition]

Shuri

Re: Sign In

[gospel_of_oblivion]

Illyana Rasputin

Re: Sign In

[unusual_sith]

Lana Beniko

Re: Sign In

[mylandmyrules]

Nell Ingram

During the Lecture

[tellmehowstuffworks]

So he's like the last guy, but dumber.

Re: During the Lecture

[scoffs_at_tradition]

"Can we have a fight to the death and have this one tossed off a waterfall?"

It worked at home!

Re: During the Lecture

[tellmehowstuffworks]

"Tempting," Yennefer said, "but I'm going to have to say no. The law does not allow for that solution, although you can suggest to the king-elect that it be amended for future reference."

Re: During the Lecture

[scoffs_at_tradition]

"It's how my nation deals with challengers," Shuri said, nodding. "It works fairly well."

Her brother might have a slightly different interpretation.

Re: During the Lecture

[tellmehowstuffworks]

"If the problem royal was young and sturdy, and not..." Yennefer glanced at Hugh, "shall we say, getting on in years and suffering from the effects of dissipation, he might, however, then win the fight and toss your competent challenger off the waterfall. What then?"

Re: During the Lecture

[scoffs_at_tradition]

"Then you train the next competent challenger better," Shuri said.

Re: During the Lecture

[gospel_of_oblivion]

"I volunteer to fight him anyway, even if the result isn't binding."

'Yana, no.

Re: During the Lecture

[scoffs_at_tradition]

"I'd watch that," Shuri said.

Re: During the Lecture

[gospel_of_oblivion]

'Yana was thisclose to pulling an Adora. HOW did they keep getting dumber? How?

"Someone come up with a good reason I shouldn't pull a 'hell is empty and all the devils are here' on this piece of shit," she begged her classmates, putting her head on the desk. "Please."

Re: During the Lecture

[tellmehowstuffworks]

"A bunch of peasants--not a majority of the peasants, mind you, but a sizable minority--think he's great and they have a whole lot of crossbows," Yennefer said, sounding like she couldn't believe either of those things either. "Also, some people are too stupid to properly absorb threats."

Re: During the Lecture

[gospel_of_oblivion]

"Have we checked them for evidence of memory tampering magic?"

What? It was entirely possible he'd bribed some hack like Strego-boring to help him out.

Re: During the Lecture

[unusual_sith]

"The Force is good for that," Lana said. "I'm not above 'convincing' them to change their minds.

Talk to Hugh

[tellmehowstuffworks]

"It's all just a HOAX!"

Re: Talk to Hugh

[gospel_of_oblivion]

"If it was a hoax, they wouldn't have done a half-assed job of it. He's organized. They would have found a way to behead you and all your disgusting offspring already. You wouldn't be breathing, let alone whining." Yes, this was 'Yana's attempt at being Good. "So sit down, shut up, and let the grown-ups work and maybe you'll get out of this alive."

Re: Talk to Hugh

[tellmehowstuffworks]

"Exactly!" Hugh exclaimed, grabbing onto about one word of that. "It's organized voter fraud! They don't want to respect the will of the people!"

Re: Talk to Hugh

[gospel_of_oblivion]

"Organized fraud would have you dead. The only fraud happening is your attempt at ignoring reality." If you thought 'Yana's eyes were starting to shift towards yellow, you wouldn't be wrong.

She clenched her fists to hide how her fingers had lengthened a bit into claws. "You are the fraud. You are the hoax. Now be quiet. You're embarrassing yourself so much that your wife and children will hang you themselves to save their own reputations."

Re: Talk to Hugh

[unusual_sith]

One thing about these idiots; they hardly had strong minds. "It was a fair election," Lana said, using the Force. "People don't like you. Go away."

Talk to Yennefer

[tellmehowstuffworks]

She's here.

OOC

[tellmehowstuffworks]

Ripped from the headlines.