Student Assembly, Wednesday afternoon, November 18, 2020

[sith_happened]

Anakin paused when his normal rostrum wasn't set up on the stage today, and his eyes narrowed when he saw the drumkit, guitar, and bass.

"Well. This is clearly not going to be just an educational talk," he said dryly into one of the three microphones as he pulled his card from the pocket of his robes. "Today we have, um, The' My Dad's a Demon, But He's NOT a Deadbeat' Tour, starring Fig and the Cig Figs."

The moose had a lot to answer for.

"Enjoy."

Comments

Re: Take it away, Fig and the Cig Figs!

[burntownsgetmoney]

Maybe the most notable thing about the stage setup at this point was the drum kit, decorated with several stickers including, notably, one that said AGUEFORT OWLBEARS with a picture of said mascot. Underneath that was another sticker that said "HOOT GROWL," and the combination of the two had a distinctly school-logo kind of vibe. Besides that, there were microphones, amps, and monitors set up for two other musicians, not to mention a line of illusory flame that stretched along the entire foot of the stage, like footlights but cooler.

As the lights went down, the illusory flames that were definitely not coming from any kind of lighting rig roared up, and a very deep growling voice came over the speakers. "Hello, Fandom!" The voice couuld have been ominous. There were still hints of ominousness in it, but mostly it sounded far more affable than you might think it had any right to sound. "Got a real treat for you today. Coming to you live, out of Elmville's own Aguefort Adventuring Academy, put 'em together for Fig and the Cig Figs!"

The illusory flames roared up further until it looked like they might start licking at the ceiling, then flickered out as the regular stage lighting came up.

"You think he's good now, but you should see him when he's raging: on drums, it's Gorgug Thistlespring!" A tall, lanky teenaged half-orc in jeans and a hoodie stepped out on stage, waving his drumsticks at the audience before he took his seat. He had a large pair of headphones around his neck and a shock of white in his hair, and a metal flower in a sort of holster at his waist for some reason.

"Coaching the Aguefort bloodrush team when he's not playing lead guitar here: me, Gorthalax the Insatiable!" The musclebound, horned pit fiend who walked out on stage now, with an electric guitar in one hand and a microphone in the other, was grinning and waving like a pageant contestant. (He was moving as if he was normally much bigger than he looked, because that was actually the case. Back in Spyre it wasn't an issue, but it was probably best not to alarm people here, right?)

"And finally, on lead vocals and bass guitar, the driving force behind this whole operation, give it up for my kid, Fig Faeth!" And rolling out onto the stage on a skateboard with an unlit clove cigarette in her mouth and a bright red electric bass guitar in one hand was a tiefling girl with reddish skin, a leather jacket, and a fishnet sort of thing around one leg that kind of looked like it had been a lunch lady's hairnet at some point in its life. She hopped off the skateboard and flashed devil horns at the audience before bounding over to the microphone. "Hello there, Fandom! This is our first gig in a totally different world, aren't you lucky?" She pulled a crystal device of some sort out of her pocket and held it up for a few seconds like she was taking pictures of the audience. Then she winked, and there was a chance that if you caught that wink you might find yourself slightly inspired and get to add a d8 to one ability check, saving throw, or attack roll of your choice within the next 10 minutes.

"Anyway, we are Fig and the Cig Figs — that's short for Significant Figures, by the way — and we've got a few songs for you today." She was just about to hit the first chord on her bass guitar when she paused, rolled her eyes, and said dryly, "Right. There's supposed to be a disclaimer here about how lyrics should not be taken as an endorsement or whatever. Anyway. This one's called 'Burn Towns, Get Money'."

Look, her father was a prince of the Nine Hells and her Infernal heritage was obvious. There was a theme to uphold here.

"This is a new one we've been working on," Fig said once the first song had wound down, and launched into a number that was probably titled "My Van is a Boat," then from there right into one that doesn't have a fan song for it that sounded like an early songwriting effort and was pretty obviously titled "My Dad's a Demon, But He's Also a Deadbeat."

Fig paused and grinned wryly after that song was over. "I wrote that one before I actually met my dad. We all have issues to work out, right? Anyway..." Without further commentary because this is getting really damn long the band finished out the set with "Love Me For Me," "Actor", and just in case anyone thought this was getting too serious, something that sounded familiar but definitely had different lyrics as the grand finale.

Was there a moral to this whole thing, or at the very least an implication that teen angst and family issues were kind of universal? Entirely possible, but the band wasn't going to confirm or deny that.

"Thanks, Fandom! We'll be doing autographs for a little while after this, taking questions, that sort of thing," said Gorthalax, and with a wave of his hand the illusory fire roared up and then dissipated, leaving an empty stage behind it.

You know. Until the band set up a little merchandise table right in front of the stage a minute later, if you wanted to buy their EP or get something signed or just come say hi.

Re: Take it away, Fig and the Cig Figs!

[sexy_giraffe]

Well, Tahani knew what to do in front of a band, which was bop along in a flowy dress and then wander over to the merchandise table and see if there's an after party.