fandomhigh | Multidimensional Economics; Friday, First Period [09/18].

So Summer was already having a bit of a morning and was feeling like her weapons run weekend with her current space bestie could not come soon enough, but she still had a class to deal with, which sort of made the fact that a petty and vindictive squirrel tried to usurp her radio spot with one of her own students. Troy seemed like a good kid, though, so nothing against him, she just felt a little bad that he somehow managed to get wrapped up in it.

Either way, it left her feeling like maybe she should do a little more planning in advance for her classes for days like today, but she figured this one wouldn't be a bad one, and it was still probably better than just sticking them with a movie, right?

"So," Summer started, as they gathered in the danger shop, which was set up to look like a appliance store, with things marked down to ridiculous prices, according to the signs, some of them even free, "today we're going to start with one of the lessons I have planned for you guys that have to deal with business ethics. Because one thing you definitely learn when dealing with economics on a multidimensional level is that everyone has them, but literally none of them are the same, and something that's totally kosher and cool in one quadrant of the multiverse could actually turn out to be the most offensive thing you can imagine in a business transaction in another one. This just means that research is usually pretty important when you're about to embark on a new business venue, but sometimes, you just don't have the time, and you have to go in blind and hope you don't mess it up, and that's where having your own set of business ethics can come in handy, because that's at least, you know, a start.

"Today, then, we're going to see where you stand on a particular situation, see if your classmates agree, and, if not, we can talk it out and discuss with each other on why we feel the way we do about whether or not its right or wrong. And please, keep it civil. It's only first period, and already, I have dealt with way too many altercations and fights, so let's keep it that way.

"Onto our scenario! From here, I think I'll let our 'guest' take over. Everyone, please give a warm welcome to Mr. Ants-in-my-Eyes Johnson."

And that was when a relatively normal, though somewhat sweaty middle-aged man who did, indeed, have ants in his eyes stepped forward to give his schpiel [[CW for R&M clip, which means weirdness, gross humor, and, in this one, someone catching on fire]]. "I'm Ants-in-my-Eyes Johnson, here at Ants-in-my-Eyes Johnson Electronics! I mean, there's so many ants in my eyes, and there's so many TVs! Microwaves! Radios! I think? I'm not...I'm not a hundred percent sure what we have here in stock, because I can't see anything! Our prices...I hope!...aren't too low! Check out this refrigerator!"

He gestured toward a washing machine. "Only two hundred dollars!

"What about this microwave?" This, at least, was a microwave, though it had a sign that clearly stated 'Free!' on it. "Only a hundred dollars! That's fair!

"I'm Ants-in-my-Eye-Johnson, everything's black! I can't see a thing, also, I can't feel a thing!"

This was when his wild gestures managed to bring his arm close to a gas stove that someone had turned on, catching little flames on his sleeve, because there were definitely people walking around and doing things like that and also just taking things. "I can't feel a thing, either," very clearly, as the flame was slowly creeping up his arm, "but that's not as catchy, as having ants in your eyes, so that always goes, you know, off by the wayside. I can't feel! It's a very rare disease. All my nerves, they...they don't allow for the...for the sensation of touch! I never know what's going on! Am I standing, sitting? I don't know!"

Summer, where did you get that bag of marshmallows and a few sticks, anyway?

"Alright, guys," she said, tossing those things on a table, "so here we go. We've got a shopkeeper blinded by ants in his eyes who is also on fire and oblivious not only to that, but everything else going on. What are we doing?"

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Like you have ants in your eyes!

Eleanor Shellstrop

Troy Barnes

Nina Argentum

Tahani al-Jamil

Arabella Baylor

If you haven't by now started questioning what you might be getting into for this class, this one might just start doing it for you. But you have a fake holographic guest this week, be polite! Or don't! That's the whole point of today's lesson!

That guy was crazy. Just nuts. And despite being super gassy from eating all that shrimp yesterday, Eleanor was down for this class.

The poor man has ants in his eyes and is on fire, people are looting his store and damaging things...what do you do in a case like this and why have to decided to be an asshole or not?

"UM," said Troy, who felt this one was pretty obvious, "maybe we should put him out?"

But he was looking around for some sort of fire extinguisher or maybe even a blanket of sorts, but there was nothing. There might have been one, but it looked like someone already stole it?

“He’s fine,” Eleanor said, waving her hand dismissively. “That’s just a gimmick or something. Now the important question: do you think he’d take Monopoly money instead of cash? Second question: how hot am I?”

Yes. She was semi-coherent when radio happened this morning, Troy.

"Clearly not as hot as this guy," with a very emphatic gesture toward the man being slowly engulfed by flames right now, "currently! You know, when they call it a fire sale, I didn't think it meant there would be actual fire!"

Which was actually kind of weird, because he usually did take things that literally.

“Oh, so you that guy is hot?” Eleanor said, looking skeptical at the ants in his eyes guy. “Okay, Butt Soup. If that’s your thing, fine but the ants are kind of a turn off for me.”

"He is literally on fire!" Troy reminded Eleanor, in case she may have somehow forgotten that very important detail.

But the rest of what she said sort of begged another question, and Troy maybe stopped worrying about the whole On Fire of it all for a moment as his brows furrowed and he had to ask, "But how would you feel if it was shrimp in his eyes?"

"It's a simulation," Eleanor said rolling her eyes. "And even if it wasn't he's not feeling anything so it's not a big deal."

Let's focus on important things, Troy. You called her hot this morning.

"And don't be ridiculous. Shrimp go in the mouth hole. Not in the eye holes."

Well, yeah, obviously he did. He almost made out with her in class last week, and Troy Barnes did not almost make out with people who weren't hot...

Also?

"And ants don't go in either of those holes," Troy countered with what he stl felt were the important aspects of this conversation, "and now they're even fire ants and that is terrifying."

Okay, this whole conversation was becoming less and less about her. Geez, Troy. Get with the program.

"Still a simulation," Eleanor replied. "Plus, he's just trying to sell things so clearly the ants and a fire are not his highest priority."

Troy was very easily distracted, Eleanor! Especially when there were people in the room on fire and covered with ants.

Well, only his eyes were covered, but still!

"Yeah, but," he said, "maybe they should be?"

Ugh.

"Look, if Summer wanted us to douse him, she'd give us a bucket of water, or a hose or something."

And then because she was tired of derailing conversation from what was important, Eleanor started looking around for a fire extinguisher.

"Can I, like, be excused????????????" Nina asked, which was not a good way to start her first actually showing up to a class this semester, no. "Only, like, I've recently been on fire and........"

She'd rather not deal with any of this right now, thanks.

Rude, Summer.

Oh, like Summer was somehow supposed to keep track of which students had been recently ser on fire and who hadn't?

But her eyes did go a little wide at that and she answered with a very emphatic, "Yup!" Then all but ushered Nina toward the door herself.

But not without a sheepish sort of embarrassed chuckle and a very apologetic, "And, like, welcome baaaack."

Summer sure knew how to really bring out the welcome wagon, huh?

"Thank youuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!" she called fervently, even as she fled.

Well.

That had gone well.

"We have to help him," Arabella declared, already looking around for a fire extinguisher.

And maybe some ant spray, although spraying someone's eyes seemed like a bad idea even if they did already have ants in them.

She's about to be super distracted by an alert on her phone about half-way through the class, but she'd definitely here and ready to judge the crap out of all of you, probably no matter what you choose to do.

Summer's classes are a constant internal battle between being delighted to foist things into your eyeholes and feeling exceptionally awful for doing so.

Multidimensional Economics; Friday, First Period [09/18].

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