Summer Smith (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
somethingwithturquoise) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2020-05-26 06:05 am
somethingwithturquoise) wrote in fandomhigh2020-05-26 06:05 am
Entry tags:
How to Tame a Willful Wife; Tuesday, Second Period [05/26].
To say that Summer had 'dressed down' for class that day seemed like an understatement. Her usual get-up was, of course, very chic-cas, but today's lesson called for a visual statement to go along with the eventual rant, and she was wearing some incredibly well-worn but clearly comfortable sweatpants, a baggy t-shirt that had seen better days, her hair was in her usual pony-tail but not as neat, and she looked like she did not give two shits about her disheveled appearance, because she was making a point, and that point was....
"Keeping Up Appearances!" Summer announced, by way of greeting, gesturing toward the words written big on the board behind her. "Now that we're past the dating stage and presumately into happy matrimony, it's time to look at the expectations of a Well-Tamed Willful Wife based on different aspects of expectation, and today we're going to be focused on looks. Because, as a Willful Wife, one of your main jobs is literally to sit there and look pretty. You," the spite was just dripping on every word here, "are merely an extension of your husband's prestige, and, so help him, you'd better look the part! A disheveled or ugly or unfashionable wife is clearly unacceptable and will reflect poorly on your husband, and we can't have that, can we? Let's have a look, then, at some of the helpful advice from these totally legit manuals so that we can all ensure to be the perfect little accessory to your man's status, which, in case any of you are off your sarcasm radar today, are complete bullshit, B-T-Dubs."
And so now Summer turned to the board again, just long enough to point out each section scribbled there before launching into the appropriate tirade.
"1. Prepare Yourself. First of all, could they have picked a grosser way of putting it? Like you're dressing yourseful up to be put on display like a fancy dinner. Barf. But, yes, ladies, a willful wife will always prepare herself for the inevitable moment when Dear Husband comes home from a long day at work to be comforted by the servitude of the lesser, although fairer and gentler spouse. Prepare yourself by making sure to rest 15 minutes beforehand, touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair, and be 'fresh-looking.' You know, like the sweet, delicate flower you are, or maybe the produce aisle in the grocery store...
"Note that this isn't even when you're out in public. This is in your own damn home. But god forbid you be comfortable and 'wilted' in the privacy of your own damn home.
"2. Never Wear Make-Up, Actually. Conversely, going back a little further, it was actually bad for a married woman to wear make-up, because why would a woman want to wear make-up except to attract a man, and why would a married woman want to attract a man? But you also want to look good for your man, so, like, make-up is important if you're less than perfect, but you don't want to make it obvious you're wearing make-up or else it looks like you're trying too hard, so here's to hoping you get it just right between 'natural beauty' and 'painted whore' or else, oh, boy, what are you even doing with your life?
"And this is why the advent of YouTube make-up tutorials are such a good thing, because, like, now we can do our make-up because it's fun and it's a goddamn art and we don't need your approval, we just want that satisfaction that comes with an absolutely killer perfect cat's eye line. Don't even get me started on the more modern variation of this particular piece of advice about make-up that claims that women who wear make-up are just false advertising. For what? If you think a cat's eye mascara job is reflective of what women really look like, you seriously need to get out more, bruh.
"3. Always smile. No matter what. If you smile bright enough, maybe no one will notice just how dead you are behind your eyes! I think this one also ties in nicely with those assholes who are always telling you to 'smile more,' or worse, 'you'd be prettier if you just smiled more.' Bitch, please. How about you give me something to smile about if you want to see it so bad, instead of just being an obnoxious creep. News flash: we don't owe you smiles. We don't owe you anything. But I'll happily give you a smile accompanied with a nice side of my middle finger.
" 4. Always wear pink underwear. Okay, so, anyone who knows me knows I'm a big fan of the color pink, especially in my outfits, and I definitely do not want to get personal enough with any of you where you know if the underthings match the outerthings, but even if this was recommending any other color of underwear, it would still be a little messed up. You guys in the class probably don't know--or maybe you do, I won't judge--but fancy pretty lingerie is not meant for casual wear, not unless you like feeling itchy and poked all day. Again, I don't judge. But it's not just that. It's also, and I'll quote...." She cleared her throat, pulling out a little card, "'That the underwear should be spotlessly clean goes without saying,but every woman should wear the best quality underwear that she can afford. And the color should be preferably pink. And lace and ruffles, I am sorry to say, add to the attractiveness of underwear,and are liked by the average man.' Real facts, guys: spotlessly clean is near impossible the moment that stuff leaves the packaging. Also, who cares what a man find attractive in something he's not even going to be seeing for most of the day? If you dig ruffles and lace, go for it, you do you, but if you're just doing it to be a willful wife dressed up to preference even under the outer layer, I suggest you get all that shit together and throw it in an incinerator.
"Or not, that could be really bad for the enviroment, maybe lob it all in a black hole or something. Unless it was really expensive or super cute, in which case, you know, special occasions, but not every damn day while you clean the kitchen, what the fuck.
"Other minor details for a willful wife to avoid or for a loving husband to ensure that his wife never keeps on hand if he wants her to be properly subdued: red nail polish," oh, you better believe Summer was flashing a smooth new manicure in the most vibrant red she could find just then, "wearing curlers in your hair...but if your husband likes your hair curled, you'd better find some way to make it work without him noticing!...wearing face cream...but if there's even the slightest blemish, be ready for those divorce papers, girl...
"In conclusion," Summer sang, gesturing to"I'll refer you to this actual advertisement from an actual thing that is actually gross and probably NSFS, but, future potential wives, it's important: Always. Stay. Gorgeous."
The fact Summer was making? Definitely not gorgeous.
"Now," she added, "before any of you," NIIIIINA, if she was threeeeere, "say anything, yes, it's nice and it's fun and it feels good to dress up and make yourself look pretty and, like, seriously, don't even @ me about fashion and make-up because I live for that shit, but the point isn't 'all fashion is patriarchy.' The point is 'all fashion done purely for the sake of impressing a man and/or trying to fit into a man's idea of what you should look like is patriarchy, and you should only be doing that for yourself.' And the whole goal is to be able to tell the difference."
And, with that, she turned to the class. "Thoughts?"
Because, really, she didn't have anything for this class except for ranting at them and then having them maybe, hopefully, rant back. Or possibly having to force Nina and Wayne into seperate seats at opposite sides of the room on occasion.
"Keeping Up Appearances!" Summer announced, by way of greeting, gesturing toward the words written big on the board behind her. "Now that we're past the dating stage and presumately into happy matrimony, it's time to look at the expectations of a Well-Tamed Willful Wife based on different aspects of expectation, and today we're going to be focused on looks. Because, as a Willful Wife, one of your main jobs is literally to sit there and look pretty. You," the spite was just dripping on every word here, "are merely an extension of your husband's prestige, and, so help him, you'd better look the part! A disheveled or ugly or unfashionable wife is clearly unacceptable and will reflect poorly on your husband, and we can't have that, can we? Let's have a look, then, at some of the helpful advice from these totally legit manuals so that we can all ensure to be the perfect little accessory to your man's status, which, in case any of you are off your sarcasm radar today, are complete bullshit, B-T-Dubs."
And so now Summer turned to the board again, just long enough to point out each section scribbled there before launching into the appropriate tirade.
"1. Prepare Yourself. First of all, could they have picked a grosser way of putting it? Like you're dressing yourseful up to be put on display like a fancy dinner. Barf. But, yes, ladies, a willful wife will always prepare herself for the inevitable moment when Dear Husband comes home from a long day at work to be comforted by the servitude of the lesser, although fairer and gentler spouse. Prepare yourself by making sure to rest 15 minutes beforehand, touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair, and be 'fresh-looking.' You know, like the sweet, delicate flower you are, or maybe the produce aisle in the grocery store...
"Note that this isn't even when you're out in public. This is in your own damn home. But god forbid you be comfortable and 'wilted' in the privacy of your own damn home.
"2. Never Wear Make-Up, Actually. Conversely, going back a little further, it was actually bad for a married woman to wear make-up, because why would a woman want to wear make-up except to attract a man, and why would a married woman want to attract a man? But you also want to look good for your man, so, like, make-up is important if you're less than perfect, but you don't want to make it obvious you're wearing make-up or else it looks like you're trying too hard, so here's to hoping you get it just right between 'natural beauty' and 'painted whore' or else, oh, boy, what are you even doing with your life?
"And this is why the advent of YouTube make-up tutorials are such a good thing, because, like, now we can do our make-up because it's fun and it's a goddamn art and we don't need your approval, we just want that satisfaction that comes with an absolutely killer perfect cat's eye line. Don't even get me started on the more modern variation of this particular piece of advice about make-up that claims that women who wear make-up are just false advertising. For what? If you think a cat's eye mascara job is reflective of what women really look like, you seriously need to get out more, bruh.
"3. Always smile. No matter what. If you smile bright enough, maybe no one will notice just how dead you are behind your eyes! I think this one also ties in nicely with those assholes who are always telling you to 'smile more,' or worse, 'you'd be prettier if you just smiled more.' Bitch, please. How about you give me something to smile about if you want to see it so bad, instead of just being an obnoxious creep. News flash: we don't owe you smiles. We don't owe you anything. But I'll happily give you a smile accompanied with a nice side of my middle finger.
" 4. Always wear pink underwear. Okay, so, anyone who knows me knows I'm a big fan of the color pink, especially in my outfits, and I definitely do not want to get personal enough with any of you where you know if the underthings match the outerthings, but even if this was recommending any other color of underwear, it would still be a little messed up. You guys in the class probably don't know--or maybe you do, I won't judge--but fancy pretty lingerie is not meant for casual wear, not unless you like feeling itchy and poked all day. Again, I don't judge. But it's not just that. It's also, and I'll quote...." She cleared her throat, pulling out a little card, "'That the underwear should be spotlessly clean goes without saying,but every woman should wear the best quality underwear that she can afford. And the color should be preferably pink. And lace and ruffles, I am sorry to say, add to the attractiveness of underwear,and are liked by the average man.' Real facts, guys: spotlessly clean is near impossible the moment that stuff leaves the packaging. Also, who cares what a man find attractive in something he's not even going to be seeing for most of the day? If you dig ruffles and lace, go for it, you do you, but if you're just doing it to be a willful wife dressed up to preference even under the outer layer, I suggest you get all that shit together and throw it in an incinerator.
"Or not, that could be really bad for the enviroment, maybe lob it all in a black hole or something. Unless it was really expensive or super cute, in which case, you know, special occasions, but not every damn day while you clean the kitchen, what the fuck.
"Other minor details for a willful wife to avoid or for a loving husband to ensure that his wife never keeps on hand if he wants her to be properly subdued: red nail polish," oh, you better believe Summer was flashing a smooth new manicure in the most vibrant red she could find just then, "wearing curlers in your hair...but if your husband likes your hair curled, you'd better find some way to make it work without him noticing!...wearing face cream...but if there's even the slightest blemish, be ready for those divorce papers, girl...
"In conclusion," Summer sang, gesturing to"I'll refer you to this actual advertisement from an actual thing that is actually gross and probably NSFS, but, future potential wives, it's important: Always. Stay. Gorgeous."
The fact Summer was making? Definitely not gorgeous.
"Now," she added, "before any of you," NIIIIINA, if she was threeeeere, "say anything, yes, it's nice and it's fun and it feels good to dress up and make yourself look pretty and, like, seriously, don't even @ me about fashion and make-up because I live for that shit, but the point isn't 'all fashion is patriarchy.' The point is 'all fashion done purely for the sake of impressing a man and/or trying to fit into a man's idea of what you should look like is patriarchy, and you should only be doing that for yourself.' And the whole goal is to be able to tell the difference."
And, with that, she turned to the class. "Thoughts?"
Because, really, she didn't have anything for this class except for ranting at them and then having them maybe, hopefully, rant back. Or possibly having to force Nina and Wayne into seperate seats at opposite sides of the room on occasion.
Re: Discuss the Rant - HtTaWW, 05/26.
She did not normally call Summer that, no.
...
"Or, well, maybe after my class........."
Time was, uh, tricky today for her.
Re: Discuss the Rant - HtTaWW, 05/26.
"But sure," she said, with a nod. "We can talk about it after, if you want. And, I promise, your hair will be safe until then."