Summer Smith (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
somethingwithturquoise) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2020-05-12 05:22 am
somethingwithturquoise) wrote in fandomhigh2020-05-12 05:22 am
Entry tags:
How To Tame a Willful Wife; Tuesday, Second Period [05/12].
"Ohhhhhhhhhhkay, then!"
There they were, in a classroom, a regular classroom, not even Summer's oh-so-hilarious Danger Shop classroom, which was how you knew that this class was some serious bullshit right here. It was a home ec classroom, too, with high tables and stools and a little kitchen area and everything, and Summer kiiiiinda looked like she just wanted to burn it down. But she wouldn't. Not yet. That was definitely more of a 'toward the end of class' kind of activity.
"So welcome to pretty much the worst class idea ever," she continued, leaning on the counter in the front, "where I can't decide if it landed on me in an effort to torture me, or if it landing on me was the best thing every because now we can subvert the shit out of it." She flashed the class a smile that could best be described as 'homicidally reserved.' "For those of you who don't know me, hiiiii, my name is Summer, and I usually teach things like survival and cooking." And anyone who'd taken one of her cooking classes knew that those two were very closely linked. "I guess the moose decided, hey, you know what would be fun? Let's put out a super offensively titled class and send a whole bunch of old-ass outdated marraige guides from ancient times and give it to the nineteen-year-old divorcee. Yeah. I've been married, you guys, and guess what? It sucks. I noped out of that and sent that society reeling back into the post-apocalyptic junk heap that it was when I found it, that's how bad it was. I mean, granted, you could probably make a case that, hey, maybe if you want a nice marraige, you probably shouldn't just seal the deal with a guy you've only known for a couple of days, but, come on, let's be real. It was the apolalypse, the pickings were pretty slim."
She was...probably creating more questions than she was answering them, wasn't she? Perhaps it was time to move on.
"Aaaaaannnnyway, so the moose also sent me these," here, she turned around and picked up a stack of old books and then plopped them dramatically on a desk with a very satisfying bang and a small cloud of dust from the moldering, decaying patriarchy they held within, "and I guess I was supposed to go through them, find the best advice, and share that knowledge with you all on how to be a sweet, demure, perfect little housewife for your snooty little no-good Man-of-the-House husband. BARF."
Her arm swept out to knock all those books right off that table onto the floor.
"Oh, and don't worry, guys. This class isn't just for you ladies, because there's a few books in there about being the Ideal Husband in there that should be pretty fun, too. Now, seven weeks is a pretty short amount of time to dismantle the outdated and patriarchial poison that has invaded our society on this planet for centuries and still, apparently, exists, although we've made a lot of progress through the years. But it always feels like it's one step forward, two steps back, and, while maybe the women of this particular island are the last people who need a good lesson on feminine strength and giving a big F-U to the patriarchy....I guess I'm still teaching a class on it, although that awful puke-inducing description on the course list clearly makes it seem like I'm not supposed to be.
"But screeeeeewwwwwwww thaaaaaaat!"
She cleared her throat.
"Anyway," she said, smiling sweetly, "before we get into the real meat and potatoes that you should have ready at precisely the time your man comes home from a hard day of blowing smoke up his boss's ass of this course, I figured it would be a good idea to see just where everyone's at before we start blasting through some notions and tearing down the traditional concepts of marraige that have been mired in Earth culture for way too long. So, yeah, sorry, guys, it's an introduction class, but it'll be useful. I gotta know where you're coming from to best see where we're going to go, especially since I see some new faces."
Two. There were two new faces, and three that seemed to be in every one of her classes and told her that this class? Was going to be a riot.
"So, we're going to go around, and tell everyone your name, where you're from, and generally what the popular concepts of marraige are like where you're from, in a nutshell. And then next week, we'll really start to dive deep into the gross stuff with our next class, which will include such gems as 'prepare yourself' and 'prepare the children', 'say yes to the first offer,' and, a personal favorite of mine, 'give him a warning if you want any rights.'
"Oh," said Summer, emphatically, with a snort and a grin that turned that earlier hommicidal glint into an absolute floodflight, "he'll get a fucking warning, alright. On that note! It's your turn! Again, just to get a base level established, let me know who you are, where you're from, and what marraige means to you, your culture, or whatever. And throw in any questions you have while you're at it, or, heck, even if there's anything in particular you're curious about, we can do that, too. Just know that we will absolutely not be taming any willful wives in here. Not on my watch. If anything, I want to create them.
"Who's first?"
[[ ocd is up, y'all! ]]
There they were, in a classroom, a regular classroom, not even Summer's oh-so-hilarious Danger Shop classroom, which was how you knew that this class was some serious bullshit right here. It was a home ec classroom, too, with high tables and stools and a little kitchen area and everything, and Summer kiiiiinda looked like she just wanted to burn it down. But she wouldn't. Not yet. That was definitely more of a 'toward the end of class' kind of activity.
"So welcome to pretty much the worst class idea ever," she continued, leaning on the counter in the front, "where I can't decide if it landed on me in an effort to torture me, or if it landing on me was the best thing every because now we can subvert the shit out of it." She flashed the class a smile that could best be described as 'homicidally reserved.' "For those of you who don't know me, hiiiii, my name is Summer, and I usually teach things like survival and cooking." And anyone who'd taken one of her cooking classes knew that those two were very closely linked. "I guess the moose decided, hey, you know what would be fun? Let's put out a super offensively titled class and send a whole bunch of old-ass outdated marraige guides from ancient times and give it to the nineteen-year-old divorcee. Yeah. I've been married, you guys, and guess what? It sucks. I noped out of that and sent that society reeling back into the post-apocalyptic junk heap that it was when I found it, that's how bad it was. I mean, granted, you could probably make a case that, hey, maybe if you want a nice marraige, you probably shouldn't just seal the deal with a guy you've only known for a couple of days, but, come on, let's be real. It was the apolalypse, the pickings were pretty slim."
She was...probably creating more questions than she was answering them, wasn't she? Perhaps it was time to move on.
"Aaaaaannnnyway, so the moose also sent me these," here, she turned around and picked up a stack of old books and then plopped them dramatically on a desk with a very satisfying bang and a small cloud of dust from the moldering, decaying patriarchy they held within, "and I guess I was supposed to go through them, find the best advice, and share that knowledge with you all on how to be a sweet, demure, perfect little housewife for your snooty little no-good Man-of-the-House husband. BARF."
Her arm swept out to knock all those books right off that table onto the floor.
"Oh, and don't worry, guys. This class isn't just for you ladies, because there's a few books in there about being the Ideal Husband in there that should be pretty fun, too. Now, seven weeks is a pretty short amount of time to dismantle the outdated and patriarchial poison that has invaded our society on this planet for centuries and still, apparently, exists, although we've made a lot of progress through the years. But it always feels like it's one step forward, two steps back, and, while maybe the women of this particular island are the last people who need a good lesson on feminine strength and giving a big F-U to the patriarchy....I guess I'm still teaching a class on it, although that awful puke-inducing description on the course list clearly makes it seem like I'm not supposed to be.
"But screeeeeewwwwwwww thaaaaaaat!"
She cleared her throat.
"Anyway," she said, smiling sweetly, "before we get into the real meat and potatoes that you should have ready at precisely the time your man comes home from a hard day of blowing smoke up his boss's ass of this course, I figured it would be a good idea to see just where everyone's at before we start blasting through some notions and tearing down the traditional concepts of marraige that have been mired in Earth culture for way too long. So, yeah, sorry, guys, it's an introduction class, but it'll be useful. I gotta know where you're coming from to best see where we're going to go, especially since I see some new faces."
Two. There were two new faces, and three that seemed to be in every one of her classes and told her that this class? Was going to be a riot.
"So, we're going to go around, and tell everyone your name, where you're from, and generally what the popular concepts of marraige are like where you're from, in a nutshell. And then next week, we'll really start to dive deep into the gross stuff with our next class, which will include such gems as 'prepare yourself' and 'prepare the children', 'say yes to the first offer,' and, a personal favorite of mine, 'give him a warning if you want any rights.'
"Oh," said Summer, emphatically, with a snort and a grin that turned that earlier hommicidal glint into an absolute floodflight, "he'll get a fucking warning, alright. On that note! It's your turn! Again, just to get a base level established, let me know who you are, where you're from, and what marraige means to you, your culture, or whatever. And throw in any questions you have while you're at it, or, heck, even if there's anything in particular you're curious about, we can do that, too. Just know that we will absolutely not be taming any willful wives in here. Not on my watch. If anything, I want to create them.
"Who's first?"
[[ ocd is up, y'all! ]]
Listen to the Lecture - HtTaWW, 05/12.
Re: Listen to the Lecture - HtTaWW, 05/12.
...Granted, most children of Bethesda the Heartstriker would assume that was what humans in general were for, regardless of said humans' gender identity, but that was one more way that Julius was a bad dragon.
Either way, there was still a lot more profanity and outer space and apocalypses than Julius had really been expecting.
Re: Listen to the Lecture - HtTaWW, 05/12.
Was she recording this? She was totally recording this.
It was so good.