fandomhigh | Advanced Bird Haberdashery, Wednesday, period 2

"Oh," Duke said, upon coming into his classroom today. "Oh, look at you." He beamed as the bird on his desk stretched her wings, even when she nearly clocked him right in the head doing it, though he was standing several feet away. She belonged to the species with the longest wingspan of any extant bird, so she had a hell of a reach.

"Don't worry, hon," he said softly, making his way carefully over to pick up the instruction sheets for the day's hats. "We'll get you in and out of here as quick as possible. You and your friends. I know this is really not your habitat of choice. Let me just squeeze past you so I can update the rules, alright?"

Class rules:
1. Do not eat the birds
2. Do not FEED the birds
3. DO NOT GET EATEN BY THE BIRDS
4. Protective gear must be worn at all times in the classroom
5. Do not provoke the horny birds
6. Don't make hats that clash with your bird
7. Do not get the entire island cursed by injuring or killing the birds

"New rule is an important one today," Duke told the students as they gathered. And after he glared any down who looked like they might be mean to his favorite bird. "Our bird this week is my personal favorite, the albatross. A large and gorgeous sea bird, known for following boats in hopes of snagging some food, they're seen as good luck for sailors. Unless you injure or kill them. Then you're fucked."

He held up his instruction sheets. "We're making them viking helmets. Even though they haven't' frequented the North Atlantic in thousands of years. Albatrosses or vikings, really. Try to make it quick; these guys would really rather be out on the water."