Duke Crocker (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
betterthanaplan) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2020-02-18 11:49 pm
betterthanaplan) wrote in fandomhigh2020-02-18 11:49 pm
Entry tags:
Advanced Bird Haberdashery, Wednesday, period 2
Duke greeted the class with a cheery salute this week, careful not to disturb the hat-mounted feeder he'd found and was now sporting, or the tiny, ruby-throated bird feeding from it. More feeders hung along the walls, across the ceiling, and from small posts attached to the sides of various desks.
"This week, as you can see, we've got hummingbirds. They're tiny little flying jewels that have to eat almost constantly to stay alive, and will beat the shit out of each other to lay claim to any territory they find. Which is probably why there's like three feeders in here for every bird." He smiled at the bird in front of him. "Respect, little dude. Don't let the bastards get you down."
He nudged a stack of papers on his desk. "Now, maybe you're thinking that I'm wearing an example of the hats you all will be making today. You'd be wrong. You're going to make these guys really tiny straw boaters. And then figure out how the hell you're going to get them on the things without waiting for them to go into torpor. So . . . good luck with that. Oh, and:"
He shifted slowly backwards, demonstrating all that fine body control that came from regular yoga practice to keep from spooking his little bird friend, and added a new rule to his list:
Class rules:
1. Do not eat the birds
2. Do not FEED the birds
3. DO NOT GET EATEN BY THE BIRDS
4. Protective gear must be worn at all times in the classroom
5. Do not provoke the horny birds
6. Don't make hats that clash with your bird
"Choose your materials wisely," he said. "I'd hate to see you ruin these guys' sense of style."
"This week, as you can see, we've got hummingbirds. They're tiny little flying jewels that have to eat almost constantly to stay alive, and will beat the shit out of each other to lay claim to any territory they find. Which is probably why there's like three feeders in here for every bird." He smiled at the bird in front of him. "Respect, little dude. Don't let the bastards get you down."
He nudged a stack of papers on his desk. "Now, maybe you're thinking that I'm wearing an example of the hats you all will be making today. You'd be wrong. You're going to make these guys really tiny straw boaters. And then figure out how the hell you're going to get them on the things without waiting for them to go into torpor. So . . . good luck with that. Oh, and:"
He shifted slowly backwards, demonstrating all that fine body control that came from regular yoga practice to keep from spooking his little bird friend, and added a new rule to his list:
1. Do not eat the birds
2. Do not FEED the birds
3. DO NOT GET EATEN BY THE BIRDS
4. Protective gear must be worn at all times in the classroom
5. Do not provoke the horny birds
6. Don't make hats that clash with your bird
"Choose your materials wisely," he said. "I'd hate to see you ruin these guys' sense of style."
Listen to the lecture
Re: Listen to the lecture
He just didn't trust anything anymore, dammit!