fandomhigh | The Multiverse is F'ed, Y'all - Tuesday, Second Period [01/14].

The Multiverse is F'ed, Y'all - Tuesday, Second Period [01/14].

"Well."

Class that week (and most weeks, unless Summer specifically informed them otherwise) was being held in the Danger Shop, and they were all gathered there on your basic ass Suburbia USA street, with Summer regarding them, arms crossed over her chest, looking maybe slightly peeved.

"Leave it to Fandom," she continued, "to shove it my face when I finally get around to doing a class like this and trying to one-up me with the nonsense from last week. I mean, it was so bad that, like, none of the newbs had it in them to stick around. Which, I mean, okay, cool, I get it, whatever, if you've got that option, might as well go for it because it'd be a little worrisome if you were kidnapped by an mythological cryptic and tossed into a volcano and your first thoughts was, 'Mmm, yes, that. More please!' But since you've all been here for at least a semester, if not more, you kind of know what you're getting into around this place, which makes my job a little more challenging, since I had to go and claim that I'd show you all some pretty F'ed up things, even by Fandom standards.

"That said," she continued, with a but of a put-upon sigh, "last week was pretty F'ed up, so I thought we'd go fairly light this week. And possibly thematic. In Fandom, we get kidnapping Krampus. In my pre-Fandom holiday excitement, I got..." She pushed the button on the remote and gestured toward the sky, where there was now a giant old man with a scraggly beard and a dirty-ass Santa suit on floating in the sky. "This. Also, side note, when this happened, this dude was actually naked the whole time, but we've all had a rough start to the semester, and none of us need that.

"Anyway, yes, this is a giant homeless man floating above my town dressed up as Santa. This actually happened, I can't make this stuff up. Why is there a giant homeless man dressed up as Santa floating above this simulation of my town? Good question, and the answer is because my grampa built a theme park inside of him. And that...." Summer pushed another button and a transport ship of a sort showed up beside her and she gestured to it, "...is what we'll be doing today. So climb aboard, everyone. Your light days in this class involve theme parks inside of giant floating homeless dudes. Buckle up!"

[[ and ~~please to be wait for~~ the ocd is up! Finally. God, why do I do this to myself? ANYWAY ENJOY. ]]

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It's like Disneyworld but WAY GROSSER.

Prompto Argentum

Gratuity Tucci

Shuri

Grog Strongjaw

Like Summer said, buckle up, everyone! There's plenty of space in the shuttle (yes, even for Grog!), and technically speaking, Summer could have totally skipped this part, but it was all part of the experience and gave everyone a few moments to express their apprehension or excitement about what they may have gotten themselves into.

Also, possibly a chance to appeal for not going to the amusement part inside the body of a giant homeless Santa, but come on! Where's your post-holiday Holiday spirit?

". . . Yep, this is in fact more fucked up than my worst Christmas."

So . . . congrats, Summer?

"Awwww." Summer beamed at her in the rear-view mirror from the driver's seat of the shuttle. "Thanks, Tip!"

That really meant a lot to her, especially coming from Tip.

It probably shouldn't, but it did.

"No problem," Tip said, both a- and bemused. "You've won the most terrible contest there is."

Shuri was totally trying to see how the shuttle worked because priorities, people. And if those priorities also included not thinking about the horror show they were flying to, all the better!

Siiiince it was the danger shop and technically speaking, the shuttle ran on ones and zeros and didn't actually need to work in any logical sort of way, Summer had designed it so that a more astute observer such as Shuri would discover that it actually appeared to run on rainbows and dreams.

Because Summer really did care about the little things.

Edited 2020-01-14 20:39 (UTC)

Honestly, once Prompto realized that Summer was serious and this was actually a thing they were doing, he was going to spend most of the trip up to the giant guy they were about to go into wondering exactly which of his chocobros he had to blame for this class.

Funnily enough, the answer he kept coming up with was actually none of them, he was firmly convinced it had to be Nina.

Grog appreciated anything that was him-sized, so he happily got settled into the shuttle and looked around. He didn't know how this room worked, but all the classes he'd had in here were amazing so far, so he was excited.

Once the shuttle had landed, Summer ushered everyone out and swept her arm around at the glory of lights and signs and construction and internal organs and said, in a voice that was not at all like Richard Attenborough, shut up!, "Welcome...to Anatomy Park!"

Yes, she looked very pleased with herself. Go on.

Then her face broke into a crooked grin. "So, seriously, there's rides, there's attractions, there's food, but, honestly, even if it's the Danger Shop so none of it's actually real, I might recommend staying away from those. Go have fun, explore a little, we'll convene back here at the end of class, although, again, Danger Shop, so not necessary, but, come on, it's the experience. And, hey, you know, any questions at all, just hit me uuuuup."

Edited 2020-01-14 11:52 (UTC)

This is where Summer will be hanging out if you need her, or if you just want to sort of hang out and chill because you're so over theme parks, especially theme parks based on human anatomy. Whatever floats your boat, they were just here to have...erm...fun.

The Alveoli Forest is a nature walk attraction through the thick forest that is the minute structures of the lungs vital for breathing called the alveoli! Neat!

The Appendix Memorial is a memorial dedicated to Ruben's removed appendix. What used to be the entrance to the appendix is framed by stones with flowers and candles placed before it.

This seemed . . . less terrible than many of the other options. So Tip was just going to hide out here in honor of this random giant homeless dude's appendix.

If you go down to the lower level of Anatomy Park, you'll find yourself in the beautiful waterlands of Bladder Falls, which features a waterfall...only that ain't water.

Isn't the human body beautiful?

Near the Bladder Falls, you'll find the Cerebral Cortex Carousel, where visitors can enjoy a little go-around among those beautiful vistas while sitting in green, bean-like carriages.

Because who doesn't enjoy a good log flume ride through a colon in theme-appropriate 'log'* shaped cars?

_________________
*No, not wood logs. LOG logs. *cough*

It's a bounce house! Shaped like a diaphragm! And every time Ruben breathes, it'll bounce you even more! Amazing!

Because fuck Summer's warning about the food, especially since it's the Danger Shop, so when else are you going to get to eat anatomy themed food without having to actually eat anatomy themed food?

Your choices include lovely options such as Panda Express, Daily Krill, Scrummie's Scraps, Corndog House, Bob's Hungry Hut, Foodies, Teriyaki Kitty, Burger Barn, The Great Steak & Potato Co., Tacos! Tacos!, Turtle Fiesta!, Quiznos, Sbarro, Tummy Fillers, and a churro stand.

Or you could just chill out a little in the small theater showing a feature about the man you are inside right now and his life up until the moment Summer's grandfather turned him into a giant floating amusement park, featuring animatronics and original music!

Have you ever wanted to take a walking tour through a tunnel made of hollow bones? Well, good news! Now's your chance to do exactly that!

The Haunted Liver is a haunted house built inside of Ruben's liver, which was heavily damaged due to his strong alcoholism. It contained animatronic creatures, like werewolves. Because that's totally a thing in livers. Also, kids: alcoholism is bad.

Hop onto one of your red blood-cell shaped rafts and ride down the scenic and exciting Hemoglobin River!

Another water-based ride (the body is, after all, is upwards of 70% water!) located in Ruben's small intestine and featured audio-animatronic children working a factory to simulate the workings of the small intestine.

Good luck ever, ever getting that song out of your head.

Edited 2020-01-14 12:15 (UTC)

The Kidney Coaster is roller coaster attraction where the cart is shaped like a red blood cell! Two and two carts are connected by a metal beam on the side and run on parallell tracks! WHEEEE!

It's a rocket-ship space-themed simulation ride! In the lungs! Because that makes sense!

It's a thrilling ride through the pancreas...with pirates! Enjoy this ride while you still can! It's been getting a lot of hot controversy and rumors about getting shut down because, as it turns out, the pancreas actually has nothing to do with pirates.

Go fig.

The Prostate Petting Zoo is currently (and perminantly) closed. DUE TO OBVIOUS REASONS.

It's bumper cars! But with bumpers that look like...well, there's no delicate way of putting it, so we'll just come out and say that THE HUMAN BODY IS SUPER GROSS, OKAY? AND THIS IS A FAMILY GAME.

Smaller than the Cerebral Cortex Carousel, this little guy features a rotating circular platform with seats made to look like purple single-celled organisms.

Marvel at the technological wonder that is the Sphincter Dam! And hope it doesn't break.

Like, really, really, really hope it doesn't break.

Spleen Mountain is one of Anatomy Park's most ~~ripped off~~ popular attractions!

It's like Space Mountain...but in a spleen!

There's a comedy club nestled off to the side of the main courtyard, where you can hear some hilarious body-related stand-up comedy! Or, better yet, it's open mic day! Get on up there and work your own comedic chops, if you're feeling so inspired.

You know those really tall tower rides where you sit inspide a sphere-shaped car and drop at a super-fast speed from the top to the bottom?

Okay, good, now it's exactly that but with testicles.

As advertised, this is a high-speed spinning attraction located near the nipple.

You didn't really think Summer was just going to let you all run around willy-nilly in an anatomy theme park and have that be it, did you? Ohhhh, still so much to learn (unless you called it, in which case, good job, Summer is supes proud).

Because the thing about having an amusement park inside the body of a guy like Ruben is the fact that a guy like Ruben is riddled with diseases! And just at the height of everyone's esperience, those diseases are attacking!

Tuberculosis and gonorrhea and Bubonic plague, oh my!

(Just to name a few)

[[ feel free to mod your disease attacks or poke at me for more personal interaction, and also, add your location to the subject line in case anyone else wants to join in and you can fight together because nothing says Friendship like fighting disease inside of a homeless dude's body! ]]

Not long after the diseases start attacking, Summer's voice can be heard over the park's speaker system.

"Evacuation imminent! Get your butts to the main courtyard as soon as you can, and we'll formulate a plan to take care of these diseases once and for all and get the hell out of here!"

Once they were all gathered back at the courtyard, she looked them all over and asked, urgently, "So what do you think we should do?"

It should be noted, however, that there seemed to suddenly be an awful lot of dynamite and other explosives in the courtyard that weren't there before. Not that Summer wanted to sway their decision-making process or anything.

Once safely back on Summer's fake street in the danger shop, she grinned a little at them and asked, "So. What did we all learn today?"

She might be a little tricky to get what with running a whole fake amusement part inside a homeless dude's body and planning an attack by infectious diseases, but she'll be happy to make the time if you need her!

MY CANON, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

I'd apologize, but I am not in the least bit sorry that I wasted about a full hour of my time doing this. MWA HA HA.

Also, let me know if you want personal disease battles. I can't guarantee they'll be good or quick, but I'll certainly TRY.

Holy motherforking shirtballs (to steal a phrase from someone else's canon). This has got to be a new OCD record.

I was...not quite fully aware of how deep this went, but by the time I realized this, it was too late to turn back!

NO REGRETS!!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The Multiverse is F'ed, Y'all - Tuesday, Second Period [01/14].

Sign In - Multiverse, 01/14.

Re: Sign In - Multiverse, 01/14.

Re: Sign In - Multiverse, 01/14.

Re: Sign In - Multiverse, 01/14.

Re: Sign In - Multiverse, 01/14.

The Trip - Multiverse, 01/14.

Re: The Trip - Multiverse, 01/14.

Re: The Trip - Multiverse, 01/14.

Re: The Trip - Multiverse, 01/14.

Re: The Trip - Multiverse, 01/14.

Re: The Trip - Multiverse, 01/14.

Re: The Trip - Multiverse, 01/14.

Re: The Trip - Multiverse, 01/14.

Anatomy Park! - Multiverse, 01/14.

Main Courtyard - Multiverse, 01/14.

Alveoli Forest - Multiverse, 01/14.

Appendix Memorial - Multiverse, 01/14.

Re: Appendix Memorial - Multiverse, 01/14.

Bladder Falls - Multiverse, 01/14.

Cerebral Cortex Carousel - Multiverse, 01/14.

Colon Log Ride - Multiverse, 01/14.

Diaphragm Bounce House - Multiverse, 01/14.

Food Court - Multiverse, 01/14.

Great Moments with Ruben - Multiverse, 01/14.

Hall of Marrows - Multiverse, 01/14.

Haunted Liver - Multiverse, 01/14.

Hemoglobin River Run - Multiverse, 01/14.

It's A Small Small Intestine - Multiverse, 01/14.

Kidney Coaster - Multiverse, 01/14.

Lung Lift-Off- Multiverse, 01/14.

Pirates of the Pancreas - Multiverse, 01/14.

Prostate Petting Zoo - Multiverse, 01/14.

Rectum Bumper Cars- Multiverse, 01/14.

Single Cell Carousel- Multiverse, 01/14.

Sphincter Dam - Multiverse, 01/14.

Spleen Mountain - Multiverse, 01/14.

The Funny Bone Club - Multiverse, 01/14.

The Testicle Drop - Multiverse, 01/14.

The Titty Twister - Multiverse, 01/14.

BUT WAIT! There's more! - Multiverse, 01/14.

Escape Plan - Multiverse, 01/14.

Debriefing - Multiverse, 01/14.

Talk to Summer - Multiverse, 01/14.

OOC - Multiverse, 01/14.

Re: OOC - Multiverse, 01/14.

Re: OOC - Multiverse, 01/14.