Detective Rosa Diaz (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
died8yearsago) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2020-01-08 04:10 am
died8yearsago) wrote in fandomhigh2020-01-08 04:10 am
Bad Ass Bitch Life Lessons; Wednesday, First Period [01/08].
"Well, that was a hell of a way to start the semester, huh?" Rosa asked, from the front of the classroom, once she figured anyone who was going to show up had actually showed up. "Now, if you're anything like me and I'd go so far as to say most people in this, you're just sort of glad it's over and you're ready to move on with your life, so that's exactly what we're going to do, and we'll jump right into it. As far as I can tell, no one on my class roster were among the kidnapped persons," except, anyway, the emphemeral addition of the newbies that noped right the hell out, "but if you were, what the hell are you doing in class? Get the hell out of here, take a personal day, you've been stuck in a volcano for several days. Personal Care Days are totally acceptable and necessary, and I guess you can count that as your first lesson: make sure to take care of yourself...because you can't expect anyone else will.
"Now, for the rest of you slightly less traumatized folks....welcome to Bad Ass Bitch Life Lessons. It's a pretty simple class. Every week, I'm going to put up some Life Lesson for you to learn to help make your life more bad ass. We learn it, we talk about it, we adapt it or adopt it, whatever. Simple, right? We're not doing introductions because I honestly don't care who you are." She knew too many of you already as it was. "We're just going to get right into it, with our first lesson. Or, well, second lesson, the first one doesn't need discussion, you know what I mean."
And so she moved over to the projector and turned it on, but instead of the Life Lesson she had planned, instead of the bad ass aphorisism she had intended, what she got put on the board was not that at all.
Rosa frowned. And then read the comic. And then looked thoroughly disgusted. "Ugh. No. Hold on." That part was directed at the class, as she went to shake and smack the projector. "That's not right. I swear, technology at this school...."
Another hit, and the image may have changed, but it still was definitely not the one it should have been. Same with the next. And the next. And the nex--
Eventually, Rosa just got to the point where she picked up the projector and threw it on the ground with a very, very impressive part-splattering crash.
"....I'll pay for that," she said, after a moment.
And, with at least a little of her frustration taken out on that poor, innocent projector, she huffed and turned her attention to the board, where the last comic inexplicable still remained.
"Alright, then, fine," she murmured, "I guess the school wants us doing this instead. So...what do you think? Is there nothing like a fart-noise ring tone to make an elevator ride more fun? What would be better? Is this even bad ass? How is this my life right now?"
She turned to the class, gesturing with a mostly dismissive wave of her hand. "Discuss."
[[ and ocd isincoming up! Have at it! ]]
"Now, for the rest of you slightly less traumatized folks....welcome to Bad Ass Bitch Life Lessons. It's a pretty simple class. Every week, I'm going to put up some Life Lesson for you to learn to help make your life more bad ass. We learn it, we talk about it, we adapt it or adopt it, whatever. Simple, right? We're not doing introductions because I honestly don't care who you are." She knew too many of you already as it was. "We're just going to get right into it, with our first lesson. Or, well, second lesson, the first one doesn't need discussion, you know what I mean."
And so she moved over to the projector and turned it on, but instead of the Life Lesson she had planned, instead of the bad ass aphorisism she had intended, what she got put on the board was not that at all.
Rosa frowned. And then read the comic. And then looked thoroughly disgusted. "Ugh. No. Hold on." That part was directed at the class, as she went to shake and smack the projector. "That's not right. I swear, technology at this school...."
Another hit, and the image may have changed, but it still was definitely not the one it should have been. Same with the next. And the next. And the nex--
Eventually, Rosa just got to the point where she picked up the projector and threw it on the ground with a very, very impressive part-splattering crash.
"....I'll pay for that," she said, after a moment.
And, with at least a little of her frustration taken out on that poor, innocent projector, she huffed and turned her attention to the board, where the last comic inexplicable still remained.
"Alright, then, fine," she murmured, "I guess the school wants us doing this instead. So...what do you think? Is there nothing like a fart-noise ring tone to make an elevator ride more fun? What would be better? Is this even bad ass? How is this my life right now?"
She turned to the class, gesturing with a mostly dismissive wave of her hand. "Discuss."
[[ and ocd is
Re: Discuss - BABLL, 01/08.
Re: Discuss - BABLL, 01/08.
And something she was pretty sure she'd witnessed Jake Peralta actually doing on more than one occasion.