So You Want to Be a Pirate!, Wednesday, period two

[betterthanaplan]

"Let's be talkin' about fights, mateys!" Duke greeted. "As ye might guess, the scurviest sea dogs who ran these here seven seas under the pirate banner were a scurrilous, rambunctious lot, proud and angry and often at least a little bit drunk. Fights were common amongst the crews, if their tendencies to tussle weren't satisfied on the regular with a raid of a merchant ship. So!" He faced his crew, hands behind his back. "What d'ye suppose the rules of a pirate fight might be?"

So help him, if anyone had an answer other than 'there were none'. . . .

"Anything went! The most important rule of piracy is to live, by any means necessary! And if that means fighting dirty by Blackbeard's mullet that's what a pirate will do!"

He strode across the deck and rapped a knuckle on a barrel. "And how 'bout weapons, ye ask? Well, those be anything they can get their hands on, be'n't they? A pirate is nothing without their knife, be it gully, dagger, or dirk. They also be using guns, though good fucking luck trying to get one of those slithey toves to fire straight. Pirates often be in close quarters below decks, so they be mighty big fans of short swords like the cutlass as well. Ye'll meet pirates who favor their boarding axe in battle, and those who'll just grab anything that might happen to come to hand, be it belaying pin or marlinspike. Ye've got to be quick on your feet and with your wits to be a proper pirate, ye see, and never miss out on an opportunity for a bludgeon."

He stopped pacing, dropped his chin, and breathed once. When he looked back up, the accent and piratical sneer were gone. "Anyway, I'm told you all can't actually injure yourselves in here? Some kind of holographic magic safeties. So I'm basically going to let you all go nuts today. For the love of god please don't try to attack each other with bludgeons outside of class. Not without really good reasons first." He smirked and shook his head, then flung his arms wide as he fell back into character. "But enough disclaimerin'! Grab yer weapons, ye damn dirty mome raths, and let's have ourselves a melee!"

[NOW WITH ACTUAL OCD, thanks dw]

Comments

Re: Listen to the lecture

[following_my_fishie]

Del arrived in class wearing her latest pirate creation. Leggings, one leg printed with pistons and gears and clockworks, the other printed in segments like a ball-joint doll. Puff-and-slash short pants done in rainbow-ombre with metallic silver puff. The shirt was a bright canary yellow and this week had no lacy fluff but a mandarin collar. The lacy fluff came from the pirate-hat printed ascot she had tied in a complicated knot, a tiny tie-pin in the center shaped like a Jolly Roger skull with tiny ruby eyes. The jacket had teal lace at the cuffs and hem, the fabric itself a blinding neon pink embroidered with teal starbursts. The had today was.. feathery. It looked like a Musketeer hat.. with more feathers. Lots.. and lots.. more feathers. It was mostly just feathers at this point.

An eyepatch covered her green eye and her rainbow hair was done in hundreds of tiny little braids.

On her feet were roller skates. Shaped like tiny pirate ships, complete with tiny masts and sails.