fandomhigh | Introduction to Law Enforcement, Monday, September 30, 2019

Well, it wasn't Lucifer in the front of class today, it was an extremely tall, imposing blond man bleeding ever so slightly from his ears.

"I am Eric," he told them. "Lucy is detained today and asked me to fill in for him. I'm fairly certain he was being sarcastic, but I do so love spending time near teacup humans--"

He did not. "--plus I am a sheriff, so I have plenty of experience with law enforcement."

Kind of. If you squinted.

He sighed heavily, a clear affectation because he didn't breathe. "I have been told that killing a DJ who plays nothing but disco music--and not even the popular disco music, but really obscure shi--stuff--is 'illegal' and 'wrong' and a 'waste of life.'"

That was a lot of sarcastic air quotes, Eric. "I'm not that convinced. I think it saves my ears from horror and provides an excellent incentive to other DJs to play better music."

He waved in a disinterested way at the students. "So. Pair up, come up with a different punishment for the tone-deaf, horrifying DJ that isn't killing them or come up with a way for me to kill him and not get caught. Your choice. You have oh...a half hour. Go."

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Del.. did not follow that. After a minute, she offered tentatively, "There are pillow trees? You could get a pillow there."

"And then I'd just need to find someone who knows how to embroider."

"Sparkle can," Delirium answered immediately.

Then she frowned and rubbed her head. Blinked first one eye ten times and then the other three, rubbed her head again.

"I think that's a person?" she said in a tiny voice, "I think I met a person named Sparkle? I don't know. Maybe I didn't meet them yet. But I'm pretty sure. That it's a person. Who makes embroidery."

"Sparkle's definitely a person," Tip assured her. "Do you meet people out of order a lot?"

Del rubbed her head and nodded. "Not an alot, though. Just a little a lot. Sometimes. Being in one place is hard."

Tip was pretty sure she didn't quite get what Delirium meant, but she nodded anyway. "Kind of an adjustment living here, huh?"

"It's very strange," Delirium said with a tiny sigh, "For me. Probably not for normal people? I don't know. I've been people shaped for a very long time. Months and months."

"I think it's pretty strange for everyone, just in different ways," Tip said. "What shape would you be if you didn't have to be people shaped?"

"Oh, different ones," Delirium said with a small, fond smile. "Sometimes I'm fishies, sometimes frogs, sometimes little owls with people faces that fly around and sing in chorus. Sometimes glitter. Sometimes nothing but colors, all the ones you can see and hear and smell and taste all at once, and sometimes I make up new colors because I'm bored. That's fun. Then I get to be something new that nobody else knows, only me, because I made it up."

She hesitated and asked, "Are you people shaped all the time? Only, not everyone here is, so maybe you're not? Norman was a crab. Not anymore. He's back to people now."

"I've been a pony occasionally," Tip said. "And once I got turned into a giant orange with a face." It wasn't a pleasant memory, but it was old enough that she just rolled her eyes at it now instead of shuddering. "But back home I'm always people shaped."

Del shook her head and offered, "Back home, I'm usually not. Only if I have to talk to someone in words. Most of my people don't need to talk to me, it's enough for them that I'm there with them. Sometimes, though, when they're alone, it helps if I'm people shaped so they aren't. Alone."

She brightened, "You were a pony?! Did you have wings?"

"No," Tip said, sounding a little bitter about that. "I didn't even get a unicorn horn. I was just purple."

Del gave a small gasp of delight! "But - purple! Like the pancakes! Purple is such a nice color! Was it nice being a purple pony? It sounds like it would be nice!"

"It was kind of aggravating, actually," Tip said apologetically. "I missed having thumbs."

Del thought about that, squinching her mouth from one side to the other. "There were things you needed thumbs for?" she asked, because she didn't really understand. She was sometimes hundreds of singing fish all at once and fish didn't have thumbs but she'd never missed it.

"Maybe I should make sure I have thumbs when I'm not people shaped just in case. There could be a thumb war and I'd lose if I didn't have thumbs."

Tip laughed. "I get the feeling you can do a bit more thumbless than most other people-shaped -- people. "

Del was looking at her hands, waggling her thumbs back and forth. "Maybe? I never looked at it before, what people do with thumbs."

"Mostly we grip things."

"So.. tentacles?" Delirium asked thoughtfully.

Introduction to Law Enforcement, Monday, September 30, 2019

Re: Pair up and Save the Hypothetical DJ

Re: Pair up and Save the Hypothetical DJ

Re: Pair up and Save the Hypothetical DJ

Re: Pair up and Save the Hypothetical DJ

Re: Pair up and Save the Hypothetical DJ

Re: Pair up and Save the Hypothetical DJ

Re: Pair up and Save the Hypothetical DJ

Re: Pair up and Save the Hypothetical DJ

Re: Pair up and Save the Hypothetical DJ

Re: Pair up and Save the Hypothetical DJ

Re: Pair up and Save the Hypothetical DJ

Re: Pair up and Save the Hypothetical DJ

Re: Pair up and Save the Hypothetical DJ

Re: Pair up and Save the Hypothetical DJ

Re: Pair up and Save the Hypothetical DJ

Re: Pair up and Save the Hypothetical DJ

Re: Pair up and Save the Hypothetical DJ

Re: Pair up and Save the Hypothetical DJ

Re: Pair up and Save the Hypothetical DJ